Gotcha Day and LOA!

Yesterday, July 23, we celebrated 5 years with our precious daughter Eden.  In some ways, it feels like we've had her since birth...and yet I still remember the details of that day like it happened yesterday.

It all started with an empty room and a full heart...

And this precious face...

Over the next several months we got these...

The waiting was almost unbearable!  Finally, after almost 2 years, the LOA and Travel Approval came...and we were off...

After a loooooong day of travel, 4 different flights, a few days sightseeing in Beijing, and more paperwork, we rose early to meet our daughter...

Over the next weeks, there was much sadness and grieving from our little girl.  It was not easy on any of us...but each week was a little better than the one before.  Here are some of my favorite pictures of our first year home...

Every year's Gotcha Day anniversary has been different emotionally than the others.  This year, I have been pondering all of the things, big and small, that Eden (and us) would have missed out on if she were still an orphan.  My heart is so grateful to experience life with her and Gene.  Watching her grow, learn and change is both terrifying and rewarding.  So, in honor of everyday life, here's a list of some of the memories that we so often take for granted.  Each is a miracle...and time a gift from the Father.  

So, in no particular order...Without Gotcha Day Eden may never: 

Have a family Christmas card picture

Learn how to be a mommy

Hug the "real" Santa!

Go to Disney World

Be in a ballet recital

Have top-notch doctors

Splash carefree in puddles on family vacation

Have a pet (her first friend)

Hold her baby cousin

Drive a Barbie jeep

Bowl with a Hello Kitty bowling ball

Eat ice cream with her great-grandmother

Dress up as a pilgrim at Thanksgiving

Have snuggles with her aunt and baby cousin

Stay up until midnight to ring in a new year

Dig for dinosaur bones

Have a mommy to be at EVERY doctor's appointment, procedure & surgery

Feed a horse

Eat a Georgia peach in the summertime

Take gymnastics

Go to the aquarium

Fish at the lake in Oklahoma

Celebrate Advent

Get a new puppy

Go to the salon for a big-girl haircut

Compete on a gymnastics team

Go to the zoo with a friend

Play in the ocean

Meet her favorite person - her cousin Savannah

Pet a sheep

See Chinese pandas in GA

Be adored by a grandmother

Ride on daddy's shoulders

Have a mommy to hug

And kiss

Share God's incredible work in her life

Have a mommy to run to...

Who will catch her every time...

And scoop her up...

And hold her tight

An aunt who adores her

Family traditions like making ornaments...

Decorating cookies...

Leaving milk and cookies...

And understanding what it's all really about

The fun of being a girl

And a chance to feel like a princess

Understand that not all babies come from orphanages

Learn how to swim

Have fun birthday parties

Be a flower girl

Ride a bike

Pick pumpkins at a farm

Carve pumpkins on a fall night

Make a gingerbread house

Celebrate Easter Sunday

Play soccer in her yard

Chill at home with neighbors

Dress up for Halloween

Trick-or-Treat with neighbors

Spend Christmas Eve with family

Bring joy to our entire family

American Girl birthdays...

Learn what "I Love You" really means

Family photos in matchy clothes

While holding a newborn...

Learn to pose like a PRO

And last but not least...without Gotcha Day Eden might never:

BECOME A BIG SISTER!!!!

Eden...you are the light of our lives.  We praise the Father for you!  May your life sing of His grace as your heart adores His Son, your hands do His work, and your feet walk His path.  

Oh, and did I mention that we FINALLY got our LOA (Letter of Approval)?  We are applying for travel visas, collecting crisp bills for travel, and preparing clothes and room for Zoey as we wait for our final paperwork to be processed and travel approval.  2-3 months and we should be on that plane!

Love you all!

Still Waiting...

We are still waiting for our Letter of Acceptance to arrive.  It should come any day now...but that does not mean it will.  This is by far the hardest part of the process...it was with Eden, too.  Once you have that picture of your child-to-be it is excruciating and frustrating to wait.  The estimate wait for this step is 60-90 days and we are at day 97 (give or take).

Please pray for my heart during this last stretch.  I want to be honest...I tend to pull away from the Lord when I get frustrated, instead of running to Him.  I know He is in control and I am not promised tomorrow so I want to honor Him each and every hour we have to wait.  This is an area I need to grow in tremendously...as I tend to become easily depressed and "shut down," so to speak.  I am resolving to run to and not from His Word and His ways.  They are good - even when I can't see what the hold-up is!

On another note, I had an amazing opportunity to serve the refugee children of Clarkston, GA 2 weeks ago.  Our church partnered with Friends of Refugees to staff the first week of their summer camp.  I wish I could describe what I saw.  I loved on children from Burma, South Sudan, Vietnam, Bosnia, Ethiopia, Nepal, Afghanistan, and more.  As the children started arriving Monday morning it looked like a U.N. Summit...talk about every nation, tribe and tongue!  And to think this is 30 minutes from my house.

I connected in a special way with a little 2nd grader from Burma.  I visited her family a few times and our family is in the process of "adopting"this sweet family through World Relief (the relocation agency who brought them to GA).  Eden went to camp with Gene and I (as a "camper") and she and this little girl could be seen all week holding hands.  My mom got to go serve with us...it was an unforgettable week!  I look forward to walking alongside this family as they settle in the US.  They have only been here 1 month and speak no English...it is amazing how much you can communicate with gestures and pointing :0)  They face so much in the days ahead...learning to use food stamps, public transport, registering children for school, getting shot records/physicals, using Medicaid, learning english...the list goes on and on.  I am so humbled to advocate for this family and love them.

I sure hope to have some great news from China soon.  Until then, the joy of the Lord is our strength.  Thank you for your prayers...we need them!

Here are some pictures from our week at camp:

Sweet little one at the block party

My new friend, Hannah, teaching me to make Iraqi bread 

Eden with her new friends at camp...learning about respect 

This is what Hannah served us for an impromptu "visit" to her home 

 Beautiful girl...

Silly boys... 

Beauty of South Sudan... 

Our visit to Hannah's home... 

Another pretty girl...

For Zoey...

Photo Taken June 1, 2012

My sweet Zoey Faith:
Today, I received new pictures of you.  They literally took my breath away.  I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.  I am happy to see you smiling, playing, and growing well.  But my heart breaks that I am missing these moments that I can never get back.  Someone else saw you roll over the first time, take your first steps, say your first words...and I missed it all.  While all these "firsts" were happening in China, you did have a family here in the USA that was longing to meet you.  And now that I have your face...your story, it defines this longing in my heart that has been there for a child that only God knew for several years now.

We began the adoption process again about 3 years ago...and it was our plan to adopt a child from Africa.  But God closed the door to that plan...and a year later we switched our application for China.  See?  God was preparing us for you, little one.  When there was no one else, He heard your every cry...and I don't just mean your physical cries.  I mean the deep cry of your heart to be wanted and loved and cherished.  Your Creator knew you when I didn't.  And He has held you while I cannot.  I trust that His Spirit has soothed you and His angels have guarded you.

And now?  In His perfect plan He has given me the most incredible gift.  I get to be your mommy.  In a few months, He will place you in my arms.  Oh, it will be an orphanage nanny who will hand you to me...but I know from Whom you come.  Finally, I will get to rub my cheek against yours, look into your eyes and tell you that you belong...you are chosen and loved and treasured.  I realize that you may not like me at first...and that's okay, baby.  You probably don't even understand what a family is by God's design. I want you to know that I respect the love you have for those who have cared for you for your first 3 1/2 years.  I promise not to get jealous or mad when you miss them and grieve for them.  You do not have to hide these feelings from me.  I want to help you through the ocean of sadness, fear and confusion that lies ahead.  I pray it is easy for you.  But if it isn't...I am here...no matter what.

It will take both of us time to learn how to love one another.  This won't happen instantly.  I have no idea what our first days, weeks and months together will be like.  But I know that I cannot wait to meet you.  And honey, I will fail you.  As much as I'll try not to...I will.  Thankfully, I serve a God who forgives me and redeems even my mistakes for your good and His glory.  He will be faithful to you when I mess up.  And the best thing I can do for you is to point you to Him.

And Zoey...we are going to have so much fun, baby!  There are so many firsts that I will get to do with you.  We can't wait to take you to the zoo...we have pandas from China right here in Atlanta!  We also have an awesome aquarium...your sister likes to crawl in the penguin tunnel.  We have a pool in our neighborhood where I will teach you to swim.  The kids in the neighborhood can't wait to play with you...and we saved Eden's small princess bike just for you.  I can't wait to take you to the beach, and your daddy is already talking about a trip to Disney World, where you can meet all the princesses!

You know where we'll have the most fun?  At home.  Home, baby.  We like to have family nights when we play games, watch movies, pop popcorn, and just giggle and snuggle.  There is one empty chair at our table reserved just for you.  I know you like to be read to...and we have shelves of books you will love.  I can't wait to see what else you like to do!

Zoey, we chose your name because it means "life."  We long to share our lives with you.  People often tell us, "You are giving her such a better life."  But baby, from our perspective it's the other way around.  I have no doubt that there will be struggles and challenges, but I know that your life will bring such joy to our family.  We cannot wait to meet you.  And above all else, please know that you are so very, very loved.

On Christ's Behalf,
Mommy

Zoey at 3 years, 3 months old

Waiting...

It's been a few weeks since I've posted so I wanted to do a quick update for those of you following our adoption journey.  Guess what???  We are still waiting...  It's getting harder and harder to be patient.  I'm hoping to hear any day now that the care package we sent has made it to China.  I hope it's not lost!  We are waiting on our Letter of Acceptance, which is the next step in the process.  The timeline is 60-90 days from our Log In Date.  We are right on 60 days now.

We have a surprise beach trip planned with Eden as our last vacation as a family of 3.  While we are counting the days until we bring Zoey into our family, we also sense that this is a special time with Eden.  We are trying to pour into her as much as possible now, constantly reassuring her of how special she is and how even though Zoey will need more attention at first, it does not mean that we love her more or she is more important.  I can tell Eden is processing this because she is asking LOTS of questions.

Eden is such a deep thinker and she feels very deeply as well.  I know that the transition for her may be as hard (in different ways, of course) as it is for Zoey.  But I have no doubt that God goes before us, beside us, and behind us.  He is the BEST parenting expert and adoption expert out there!  I am also so blessed to have the staff of Lifeline Children's Services and the International Adoption Clinic.  Not only are they honest and full of useful information, they minister to our family by praying for us and truly caring about us...not just about getting Zoey home, but about the often secret and seldom-talked-about struggles that happen after the adoption is complete.  I hope to have some great news to share soon!  In the meantime, I am enjoying each day and purposing to draw near to the Lord more every day.

I am also trying to prepare for what I'm certain will be a crazy fall season as we transition from 3 Masons to 4 (some of you are laughing because you have lots more kids).  I've already taken care of 2nd grade homeschool curriculum for next year, and hope to hear some answers to questions about Zoey's sleeping arrangements in the orphanage so I can get her room ready next month.  I will be pulling Eden's too-small clothes down and getting Miss Zoey's wardrobe as ready as I can from a whole different continent :0)  I am thinking through how homeschool is going to work with a little one in the mix.  My friend Heather called her young daughter a "wild card" when it came to school which made me laugh out loud.  In the coming weeks I will be preparing casseroles and freezing them to have some easy dinners on hand for those first weeks/months home.  As I learned with Eden...I will be exhausted between jet-lag and possible sleep issues.

Lastly, I am setting aside one day a week to fast and pray for my sweet family...for my marriage, our relationship with Eden, Zoey's grief, fear, health, transitional issues, medical needs, bonding with Zoey, and Eden and Zoey's relationship.  When I think back to what God has done from the day we met Eden, I am in awe of His goodness and sufficiency.  I cannot fathom what He has in store.

Thank you all for following our journey.  Your prayers carry us through the long days of waiting and hoping.  We love you!

Easter and Zoey :0)

I'm a little late in my Easter post, but I wanted to share pictures of my sweet Eden. Since Gene is on staff at our church, Easter is perhaps the busiest time of the year for him. So, we stayed home and laid low. We took a trip to the zoo on Thursday with one of Eden's sweet friends, Carley, from her gymnastics team. It was a great day!

We enjoyed communion together on Good Friday. On Saturday, Eden and I dyed eggs and baked a cake for dessert on Sunday. We invited some good friends of ours to eat with us after Sunday services. We actually attended the Saturday night service so that I could serve in preschool both hours on Sunday. Eden and I got to hand out flowers to the preschoolers as they came in so they could flower the cross. I LOVED seeing all the precious little ones ALL dressed up!

Eden ready for Saturday Night Service

Handing Out Flowers on Sunday Morning

Hunting Eggs

My Beautiful Girl

I have been preparing to speak at a Women's Retreat this coming up weekend. In my studying, reading, writing and preparations to speak, I have been reminded of the incredible truth that Jesus is ALIVE. This is something that I have heard my whole life, but I don't know that I have really pondered the implications of this truth in quite some time. I so often fall into the trap of trying to live "for" Christ, without living "with" Christ. In Jesus, the fullness of God dwelt in bodily form...that is utterly amazing...I am coming to understand in a new way that God desires to be known through Christ. Not known about...but known. Theology, church involvement, missions, even orphan care is not the point of Christianity. Jesus is the point. He is the goal. If I spend my life on these pursuits, but miss the joy of just being with Him, I have sadly missed the point of His resurrection. Needless to say, the Lord has really been working on and in my heart :0)

And I am overwhelmed as well at the great love and concern of God for my sweet Zoey, living in that orphanage on the other side of the world. A couple of weeks ago I had asked the Women's Ministry leadership team at my church to pray specifically that someone would just hold my baby girl. Well...this weekend we received video and photos of Zoey from 2 different people who were working in her orphanage. I am so amazed at God's sufficiency and grace to carry us through, and to minister to her heart, while we wait during this final stretch of paperwork.

So, enjoy new pictures of my girl. When the pictures were sent I was told she was high fiving and had a smile that lights up the room. Can't wait to see for myself...in person! Love to all :0)

And Finally, Sweet Zoey Faith

Family Photos

Today we went to my mom's house to celebrate my sweet sister's 30th birthday. It was fun to spend time with extended family, sit outside, hunt eggs, eat cake and ice cream, and just take time to enjoy each other. My mom wanted some pictures of the grandkids together so she had bought them each an outfit to wear for an impromptu photo session. That got my wheels turning...

We are going to send a care package to Zoey next week and I want to send a photo of Gene, Eden and I in the package for her to have. I did this with Eden and had it laminated for her. When we walked in to meet Eden for the 1st time she was holding that photo. So, I dug around in our closet and got Gene and I some clothes fit for a photo and we had our "Zoey picture" taken today as well. Can't wait to send it to her!

So, thought I'd put some of my favorites from the day on the blog for you to see. Hope you all have a great week as we lead up to Easter. Love to all!

Our family photo for Zoey in China

Eden with her cousins, Camp and Ellie

And several of Eden...

My beautiful sister, Kelly, with her babies (Camp and Ellie Kate)

And some of the girls...from left: Julie (my niece), Eden, Kelly, Ellie Kate and Kendall (also my niece)

My Thoughts on Zoey

Look at that sweet smile! She lights up the world with that little smile. The little girl with a big smile. She is described by her caregivers as quiet and cooperative...are we sure she's a Mason? Ha, ha, ha! Maybe she'll balance us out :0)

It was a Thursday late morning. I was doing a math lesson with Eden up in the school room and Gene was working from home in his office downstairs. I heard the phone ring but didn't want to interrupt school to answer it. I heard Gene say, "Hello...hold on a minute, Keri will want to hear this." And he ran up the stairs and put the phone on speaker so I could hear. Then Amy from Lifeline said those words all adoptive moms dream of..."we have a file we'd like you to review." My stomach did flip-flops. Amy went on to describe the child to us, her age, where she lived, her special needs, etc. Then she told us she was e-mailing us the file and to let her know if we were interested after we reviewed it. Then the sweetest thing happened...Eden, who was sitting there listening to all of this, exclaimed, "We are already interested!" It was so sweet. I had planned to not share any info with Eden until we knew for sure the child we would adopt but that's just not how it went down.

So we ditched school and ran downstairs to the laptop...the email was there. My shaking hands clicked on the little paperclip and the attachment started to open. We were huddled around the screen as I began reading out loud..."Name, age, size, and then it came...the story of how she was found...I began to cry. I won't share details here...it is her story...but suffice to say it broke my heart.

The next few days were spent with lots of calls and emails to gather information about what exactly "developmental delays" might mean for a child that a) has spent 3 years in an orphanage, and 2) lives on the other side of the world. Honestly, I think we ended up with more questions, what if's, and maybe's...but we also ended up with peace that passes understanding. Gene and I just knew...despite all the unknowns and risks, we were to pursue this little girl as our own. One look at her and Gene said, "She looks like a Zoey." That was on the short list of names we liked. Zoey means "life."

I don't know what struggles lie ahead for my sweet one in that orphanage, or for my sweet one lying next to me. But I know those struggles don't change how precious her LIFE is, and how much she is wanted. Of course I am somewhat nervous. Eden was 19 months old...Zoey will be 3 1/2 when we adopt her. Eden was in a loving foster home...Zoey is in an orphanage setting. Eden's special need was physical in nature...Zoey's is more complicated. I feel completely unprepared in a lot of ways. I am thankful that the Lord has reminded me this past month of how He carried me, and led me, and prepared me to be a first-time mom to an adopted toddler before. And even though this situation is different, our family dynamic is different, Zoey is different, God is the same.

So, when I start to stress out (how am I going to homeschool with a little one, how is Eden going to adjust to another child, how are Gene and I going to prioritize our marriage, I wonder what kinds of doctors we are going to need, what if she has...) I am reminded of Whose child Zoey is first and foremost. I am comforted that God sees her and knows her and loves her. He knows the exact moment, day, month and year of her birth. He knows her DNA. He knows everything her birth mom did, or did not do, while pregnant. He knows her medical history, even though for the rest of her life we will put "unknown" on that part of medical forms. He knows what scares her, and what comforts her. He knows what is making her smile in these photos. He knows what she likes to eat.

I know NONE of this. But I know Him. I talk to Him and hear straight from Him in His Word. And He has raised up an army of people to pray for, love and support our family through this journey. He has given Zoey LIFE...and I trust His will and His ways for her. I know He hates injustice...but I also know He is sovereign over it and allows it for His glory. I wouldn't have chosen this beginning for her. It makes me sad that the first birthday I celebrate with her will be her fourth. She already walks, talks, and is potty trained. I've missed a lot of her little life. She has missed crucial steps in her emotional and developmental health. This will create issues...no question about it. But oh, how I long to bring her home and love her. She is so, so worth it...they all are.

Please pray for her. At 3 1/2 she will experience great loss when she is adopted. Yes, she is gaining so much, but that doesn't discount the last 3 years of her life. My heart is so burdened for her transition. I have no doubt it is right and best...but I hurt for her loss that is to come.

Love you all...and thank you!

Meet Our Daughter!

Our Pre-approval letter arrived in my in-box last night! So, without further delay I would like to introduce you to our daughter

Mao, Zhonglun

(Soon to be Zoey Faith Mason)

She turned 3 at the end of February. Her special needs are developmental delays, and we won't be quite sure what all that entails until she arrives home. We have spoken to a doctor from the International Adoption Clinic who got to meet and examine her personally last year. This was such a blessing! She was able to share her concerns with us and give us at least some ideas of the challenges we might face in the future. Whatever they are, this little girl is so worth it to us. We have confidence and hope in our Lord and His great love, mercy and grace to carry us through. We are humbled that He would entrust us with another treasure from China.

Next week we will be sending her a care package with photos of us and some treats for her to enjoy. The next several months will no doubt be the hardest part of this journey as we wait to travel. But, we wait with hope and eager anticipation. Please continue to pray for her and for us as we await God's provision financially. He is so faithful!

Love to you all!