Don't Be Afraid

Eden is watching Nick Jr. right now while I do some housework. In between the shows, they have this little band that plays songs. She just ran up to me and said, "Mommy, I am going to sing this song to my baby sister in Africa!" She began singing in the sweetest Eden voice, "Don't be afraid, I'm here with you...."

It warms my heart to see how sensitive Eden is to her future little sister's transition. As a four year old, Eden's prayers and concerns are always that the little one not be afraid. God can move even the littlest of souls to pray. Having been through this hard transition at 19 months of age, I think this is so good for her to see the process from this side.

One thing is for sure...this Ugandan angel is already wanted and loved and missed by her Chinese big sister...and her mommy and daddy!

On another note, Eden startled me this morning with perhaps the toughest question she has asked to date. My deep-thinking 4-year-old looked me straight in the eye out of the blue and asked, "Mommy, who made the earthquake in Haiti?" I know the answer, but how do you explain it honestly and simply to a preschooler? Any suggestions?

A Miracle

This morning I was spending some time in prayer, writing in my journal. I told the Lord that I wanted Him to do a miracle in this adoption that could not be explained by Gene and me...something that was unmistakably Him. Thoughts of what it could be were swirling around in my mind and then I felt that small whisper of the Holy Spirit saying, "Don't try and figure it out...don't even write anything down...just wait...your ideas are too small." Chills run down my spine as I ponder this prayer. Sometimes I think we spend so much time trying to figure out what God is doing or telling Him what we think we need or want, that we box Him in. Yes, the Word definitely says, "Ask and you shall receive," but lately I'm finding that even what I ask can be so small...just enough, and not abundant. Scripture says He is able to do MORE than what we can ask or even imagine. That's what I long to see...more than I even can fathom. So, I proceed down this road of faith with an expectant heart...I can't wait to see what He does, both in my heart, and in the orphan He will rescue. Stay tuned...

The Home Study has Begun

Well, it's official...I'm paper pregnant! Gene and I had our first home study interview this past Thursday with our GA social worker. I received the jump drive in the mail that contains the adoption manual on it. In a throw back to our last adoption, we printed out all 126 pages and stuck it in a big, fat binder....aka, Bertha...that's what I have named the adoption manual. Why? Because she will be everywhere I go for the next year or so, making her an official member of the family...thus, she needs a name :0)

I read Bertha in her entirety on Wednesday night before our phone interview so I would know if I had any questions. Pretty standard...fingerprints (3 sets), medical exams, documentation that I'm alive, married, have never been arrested, have no warrants out for my arrest, passports, photos, biographies, educational readings, financial records, proof of employment, proof of unemployment...the list goes on. Whew...it's a lot!

I expected to feel overwhelmed. But I don't. I feel this strange sense of calm. I feel excitement and eagerness. I've done this before. I know there is likely to be delays and hiccups...and I know that at the end of all of it there's a child, or children, that God has hand-selected. Wait, no, not hand selected, created, for our family. I believe that. I see the reality of it every day with Eden.

So bring on the paperwork, the invasion of privacy, the fund raising and budget cutting. Bring it! I love it! I love adoption. While the process is certainly frustrating at times, I will not lose the joy and hope I feel. A baby is coming home at the end of this. God is going to unite a family in the way that only He can. That's what will drive me and keep me on my knees before the Lord. His grace poured out on the orphan...that is why I love my home study.

Well, Bertha and I have an appointment with a passport application for Eden so I guess I'll go. More updates soon.

P.S. Remind me of this post when I complain later on..he, he, he...yall know what I'm talking about. Today I love my home study.