Do You Enjoy God?

“But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation.  I will sing to the LORD, for He has been good to me.”  Psalm 13:5-6

The Westminster Shorter Catechism says: “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”  Perhaps one of the greatest ways that we as Christians can love God is to enjoy Him.  How does obedience glorify God if there is no joy?  How does service glorify God with no joy?  How does giving glorify Him without joy?  Our lives ought to be a song of joyful praise to our God, for who He is and for what He has done.

In his book, Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis wrote that God designed man to find his supreme happiness in Him alone.  He goes on to explain how sin robbed man of the joy that only God can give.  Satan convinced our ancestors in the Garden of Eden that they could invent some kind of happiness apart from God.  He deceived Eve into believing that she could be “like God,” and that God was withholding something good from her.  That first bite of forbidden fruit was nothing more than a hopeless attempt to find something other than God to make her happy.  Out of that first choice flowed all of human history…countless attempts throughout the ages to find joy somewhere other than in God.  Money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, slavery, empires – the long, dreadful story of man’s futile attempts to satisfy an unquenchable thirst for God alone.

Psalm 16:11 says, “You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.”  The psalmist understood what many of us do not – that it is useless to pray that God grant happiness through anything or anyone other than Himself.  He cannot do it.  Why?  Because it is not there; such happiness does not exist.  There is no satisfaction or joy apart from Him.  We were created to be in relationship with Him.  Not just an intellectual belief, but also a deep, meaningful, intimate, joyful communion with our Creator.  To know Him is to know joy like no other.

John Piper said it might be more accurate to say that: “The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever.”  When we enjoy God, He is glorified through our lives.  So how do we enjoy Him?  There is no four-step process or spiritual formula.  We enjoy Him by looking to Him to meet every need, comfort every heartache, fill every void, and guide every step.  We enjoy Him by spending time with Him.  The more we know God, the more we will experience true happiness.        

New Photos and An Update

A fellow adoptive momma got some precious pictures of Zoey when she was in China last week.  Nothing takes longer than waiting for the photos to load on your smartphone so you can lay eyes on your little one.  She is so adorable I can't even stand it!  I've posted a couple of the pictures below.

As far as the process goes...we are getting SO close...and yet it still feels so far away.  We have are waiting for our Article 5 (2 weeks) and then we will await travel approval (TA) (2-4 weeks) which is the...are you ready for it?...LAST STEP!!!!!!!  Once we receive travel approval we will secure a consulate appointment within 48 hours which will determine our exact travel dates.  When the appointment is confirmed, we call the travel agent to book flights!!!!!

So, to sum up, we should have our travel dates in approximately 5 weeks.  Now that doesn't mean we'll travel then...in fact, I suspect we will be going in early November b/c of some travel difficulties in the month of Oct. in China.  There is a national holiday and an international trade fair which causes the rates to triple.  We are resting in the Lord's sovereignty and just know that one day soon, in His perfect time, a frightened, traumatized, precious little preschooler will enter our family forever.  She will be entrusted into our care...and that is not something that can be taken lightly, or entered into without much heart-searching, prayer, and contemplation.

It is so easy in this end stage of waiting to grow frustrated and just waste the days counting down, worrying, complaining, etc.  When the sweet mom that got the photos for me visited with Zoey in the orphanage, her caregiver was with her.  Julie told me that, "She seemed to adore her and they had a very sweet relationship."  I SO needed to hear that.  It reminded me to get outside of myself and focus on Zoey.  On Gotcha Day she will experience one of the worst days of her life from her perspective.  At 3 1/2 she will be ripped away from the only "momma" she has ever known.  She will leave all familiarity, security, comforts, and relationships.  And she will have no way of understanding that it is for her good, and for God's glory.  My heart is burdened with compassion for her...and the compassion I feel for her outweighs the impatience I feel to get on that plane.

I am so ready to meet her...but I am so humbled by what I know lies in store for her on that day.  So instead of praying for paperwork to come (I trust God's got that), I am going to spend my energy praying for her and for the 3 of us as we prepare to become a family of four.  I know that God will supply an abundance of grace to us all...but prayer changes my heart.

So, here are a couple of sweet photos of our future daughter.  When you think of us...please lift her up to the Father....and it's ok to mention that paperwork, too :0)

Slowly But Surely...

We are inching right along to bring sweet Zoey home.  We received our approval from Homeland Security to bring her into the USA yesterday.  Now we await confirmation of a travel visa from the US Consulate and then we can wait for Travel Approval.  We have been informed of some difficulties traveling during the month of October due to holidays and events on the China side of things...so there is a great possibility we will have to wait until November.  I am preparing myself for that possibility, but praying and hoping God will grant us mercy to get there sooner.  I have chosen to let God be God and leave it at that.

The Lord was gracious to Gene and I the other night to reveal some deep fears and insecurities going on in Eden's fragile heart.  I am so thankful He prompted her to verbalize to me some hints at what is swirling around in her heart and mind.  As a 6-year-old it came out in an overly-dramatic way...but I sense there is some truth hidden in there.  I was so convicted to stop giving my best to the "what ifs" and concerns of paperwork when I have a living, breathing, precious child right here.  Do I long for Zoey?  Yes!  Do I crave to know her?  Yes!  Do I sense a hole in our lives?  Yes!  But I must take all those thoughts to the Father and leave them there and get busy glorifying Him where I am, with who is here.

I cried when my baby girl bared her heart to me at the dinner table.  It's not that I think I have done anything to warrant her outburst; and I know that feelings of jealousy are normal...but I do not dismiss it as only that.  There is a lot going on and change is hard for all of us.  Eden has always struggled with change.  So I need to remember to listen to and depend on the Spirit as we navigate the days ahead.

Will you please pray for my Eden?  On top of all the adoption change...she is having surgery on Monday.  It's a "minor" plastic surgery for her cleft and we hope it will be outpatient.  No surgery is easy on a child, or her parents.  Please pray for us.  And keep praying for that paperwork to come through!  Love to all...

Weary

"Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world..."  Philippians 2:14

Seriously?  Are you kidding me?  If I'm being real, this is what I thought last night when I read this verse.  I literally almost laughed out loud...you know the sarcastic kind of laugh that really says, "Yeah right."  Let me just lay it all out there...I stayed in my pajamas most of the day yesterday, didn't do school with my daughter (does 1 chapter of Charlotte's Web count?  I thought not...), and was generally lazy and useless all day long.  Why, you might ask?  Because I was pouting, that's why.  It was one of those days.

That afternoon I called my sister and when she answered I said - and I quote - "I'm having a pity party.  Do you want to come?"  I am not lying or exaggerating.  Now, I figured it's only fair, well with all my godly posts about God's perfect timing, the beautiful journey of adoption, etc. etc. to share my bad day, too.  Now hear me, I am not proud of my attitude, nor do I recommend such childish behavior...but this is where I was...more accurately, this is where I chose to be.

And you know what?  It didn't help one bit.  I "grumbled and questioned" to everyone who would listen, all the while setting a horrible example for my daughter, just because I felt like it.  I was tired of choosing joy...choosing faith.  I have been doing that and the paperwork isn't going any quicker...adoption isn't any easier...life isn't any easier...so I gave up.  I.  Am.  Over.  This.  Waiting.

"Keri, because of My great love, you are not consumed.  My compassions never fail.  My mercies are new every morning.  Great is My faithfulness!"

His compassions never fail...even when I act like a brat and throw a tantrum.  He is faithful even when I choose to pull the covers of life over my head and squander the gift of time with worry and an ungrateful attitude.  His patience never ceases to amaze me.

So, today I chose differently.  Today I persevered through the mental and emotional weariness, the lingering questions and nagging "what ifs" of this adoption journey.  Today I cherished the time teaching my daughter.  We read about Isaac's birth and worked on memorizing Psalm 1:1-2.  We read a missionary story about a couple who was nearly murdered for their faith in the Congo.  My heart soared when, at the end of the story, Eden's almond-shaped eyes got wide as she said, "Wow mommy, God really rescued them!"  I savored the prayers we prayed for Hindus.  During history we read about how different people groups/cultures dress; and we had a wonderful conversation about how our clothing says something about us and our family's standards for what we wear.  I ironed, cooked a good dinner, carpooled to gymnastics, and cleaned out the fridge.  I got soaking wet in a downpour on the way out of Kroger and got mad at our dog when she escaped and ran across the street.

Today was so different from yesterday...and yet not that different at all.  Nothing happened today that didn't happen yesterday...no great news from China.  God was just as sufficient yesterday as He is today.  The only difference was me...my choice.  I told my husband last night when I was going to bed, "Don't worry honey, I'm gonna get up on the other side of the bed in the morning."  By the end of the day yesterday I was MORE miserable than when the day started.  In the moment I must admit it felt good to give in to my feelings...but not for long.

I don't know why I'm sharing all of this...maybe just to be real and say, "Yes, I have bad days," and to say how thankful I am that they don't have to turn into bad weeks, or months or years.  I can stumble and not fall.  Because God's mercies are brand new every morning!  So, I am choosing to cling to the truth that God loves Zoey much more than I do.  He has brought us this far, and He will get us to that little angel girl...and in the meantime, I might as well choose joy.  Just think what I would have missed today if I hadn't!  And soon, these 2 will be sisters forever!