Day 2 & 3 with Zoey

It's mommy here...enjoying some much-needed down time after a morning of sight-seeing, a great lunch with our travel group, and a long nap!  Gene did a great job filling you in on the details of our day yesterday.  We saw more of the same laid-back, complacent Zoey Faith - a 180 degree difference from Eden's medical appointment with her adoption.  She screamed when they weighed her...Zoey just went with the flow - not a wimper or a flinch.  After the visa medical appointment we went and had a family picture taken for the adoption decree...I think.  All the paperwork runs together - and Gene has been appointed the "paperwork person" while in China.

Zoey is doing great...small progress each day.  It's amazing what 24 hours of family living does for her.  The first night I tried to read "Goodnight Moon" and snuggle her right before putting her in bed and she literally didn't even know how to be read to.  She kept yanking the book, furiously flipping through the pages...much like a baby would instead of a 3 1/2 year old.  Snuggling is definitely a new concept and when I tried to lay her back in my arms she looked everywhere but me - zero eye contact.  I followed the exact same routine last night and this time, she was much calmer and sat still during the book.  When I laid her back to "rock" her she made some eye contact and relaxed into my arms.  It filled my heart with hope and joy to see her enjoying my affection, even though she has no idea yet how to return it.

I can't wait for everyone to meet her (even though it will be a while).  Adorable doesn't begin to describe her.  She is sweet and has a smile that lights up the room.  She has a little prance/swagger when she walks that is so cute!  Part of it I'm sure is her physical delays because she walks on her toes and kind of arches her back and leans her head back...but it is cute!  I call it the Zoey swagger.  She is not verbal yet...except at night she whispers to herself in bed while she "rocks" herself to sleep.  She is repeating a few words back but not much.

Today we went to the Guangzhou Botanical Gardens and she loved feeding the fish.  My favorite part was the "Sun House" where they grew orchids...beautiful!  The rose garden was also lovely.  Tomorrow we will head to MaoMing City to visit the orphanage.  I cannot wait to see where Zoey spent her first 3 1/2 years.  We should meet her foster mother as well and I'm looking forward to meeting her and hopefully learning more about Zoey from her.  It is a long drive...so we will leave at 6:30 a.m. and not return until tomorrow night.  Thankfully, all 4 MaoMing families from our group are going so we are taking the big bus with reclining seats!  The kids will get to eat at the orphanage and we will get to see how they used to sit and eat their meals.  It will be interesting to see how Zoey reacts.  I'm not expecting much emotion from her but you never know...she might surprise us.

We dressed the girls alike today in the cute leopard-print outfits my Aunt Ginger bought them in OK.  They turned heads everywhere we went and we got some great pictures in the Gardens.  I love them both and am so proud to be their mommy.  My sweet Eden amazes me and seems to grow more lovely and mature each day.  She is an amazing big sister and is so delighted that Zoey is now beginning to let her help her.  My mind cannot fathom what my Zoey has endured.  While I have no reason to believe she was ever mistreated physically...the lack of having a mommy has taken an incredible toll on her...especially with her laid-back personality and developmental delays.  These 2 factors combined with orphanage living created a perfect storm in her little life.  I am, however, grateful for the great care she received by orphanage standards. 

I am so thankful that God, in His great wisdom and grace, placed her in our family.  Being her mommy will stretch and grow me in ways that parenting Eden haven't because they are so different.  There is NO way I can give them both what they need apart from His guiding Spirit and grace, energy, love and endurance.  I feel nervous for what lies ahead.  But I also am reminded of God's answer to the Apostle Paul's pleas for an easier life: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."  Paul then said, "Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Over the past several weeks, I have been reading the book "Anything" by Jennie Allen.  A few days before we left for China I read a portion that God has seared into my heart and mind.  I believe it was Him preparing me for what He has called me to do in this season...so I will leave you with her words:

"When you turn your life over to a living God who sees need, who loves desperately, the way He chooses to pour you out will be as unique as the way He formed you in the womb and placed you in your space on the earth.  Some of our anythings feel flashy and fancy, but most of our anythings fall in secret places.

What we once did in order to matter or to bee seen we forgot all about.  We matter and are seen because of love.  Because there is an object to our actions, we move and love and restore not to matter but because we have been moved, loved, and restored.  Radical acts are not the goal; we are truly moved by a Person, in love with Him, with Christ.  And out of that love comes a willingness to trust and hand over our lives.  Out of that, Jesus, because He is merciful, leads us to the unique places where we can give our lives away."

God's priorities are beautiful, and they trickle down into invisible spaces...into neighborhoods and families and friends and strangers.  He will call us to pour our lives into the cracks around us, and sometimes into cracks far from our doorsteps.  But wherever He calls us, we pour, not wishing for a larger crack or a more noticeable one, or even the one we were expecting.  Truly knowing our beautiful and terrifying God will make us willing to do anything."

From Atlanta, GA to Guangdong China - my anything in this season is a little girl who is orphaned no more.  In the coming months I will pour my life into hers with fierce love and determination, stopping at nothing to see her healed and made whole by her Creator.  God is teaching and changing me through her life...and I am humbled.  Loving and serving Christ, my husband, and my 2 girls fills my heart with joy and love.  It isn't a fancy life...but it is wonderfully fulfilling if I remember for Whose sake I do it.

Love you all...please pray for tomorrow to be all that Zoey needs it to be in order to begin to heal and attach to us!