Waiting...An Exercise of Hope

As I sit in bed this morning drinking coffee (thanks to my sweet husband), my mind keeps drifting to an orphanage in China where our little one is probably sleeping right now. We are waiting to receive our Log-In Date and were told yesterday that the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) is moving offices so they are a little slower than usual. We hope to receive this confirmation soon. Then we will submit our Letter Of Intent to adopt this specific child (that can't be done until we have a LID). When they receive our letter, they will send a Pre-Approval and at that time, I can finally post pictures of this little treasure! I'm hoping we are a week or so away!

But, waiting is awful...it just stinks. There is no spiritual piety here...I hate this. I count the hours, the days, the weeks, the months. Every time I open e-mail I get a flutter in my stomach hoping I see "LID" in the subject line. Waiting is hard.

Waiting is, however, an exercise of hope. It is not meant to be a passive endeavor. It is a verb...an action word. The Lord has been so faithful to encourage my heart during this time when fear seems to so easily creep in to my thoughts. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I have thoughts like, "Are we doing the right thing? What if we don't raise all the money we need to travel? What if the special needs of this child are worse than we know?" Fear, doubt, insecurity...they all pound on waiting's door.

But God is bigger. He is able. He is faithful. His provision through those who have given to our grant is mind-blowing. And fear flees. Doubts are erased. Our Shepherd leads us beside the still waters of waiting. In other words, He's got this. No worries. If you are reading this and you have donated to our matching grant fund with Lifesong for Orphans, there are no words to express my gratitude. Thank you seems so inadequate. Please know you have been used by the Father to confirm His calling on our lives. You have given more than just money. You have given an answer I desperately needed to hear again and again. You have been His voice. And you have given one in China a voice.

So, what have we done while we wait? Well, we've prayed, of course. We've been gathering items to send in a care package...which included a trip to Build-A-Bear for family night. We celebrated a 3rd birthday of one not yet home with Panda cupcakes, candles and presents. We have consulted with doctors via phone already to begin to prepare for the medical challenges ahead. We officially decided on a name. And I (mom) have already begun to prepare to step away from many commitments outside my home to prepare to hunker down at home when we become a family of four.

We wait with hope and with faith. We wait with joy. And we wait with gratitude for each of you who walk this journey with us. Pictures coming soon...I hope :0)