These Boots

Okay, so my mom went to Oklahoma a few weeks ago and brought Eden back some hot pink real, live cowboy boots. Check out the pics...

What a fun age! What a terrible age! Do you get what I'm saying? She can be so precious one moment and so disobedient and selfish the next. I get so frustrated, thinking, what am I doing wrong? People say, "She's just 2, that's part of it." I know that is true is some sense, but at the same time, it still grieves my heart when I see her selfishness rear it's ugly head. I want to scream, "Don't you know how precious you are? Quit acting like that!!!"

It's in these moments of frustration that God usually quietly reminds my heart that I often am that selfish 2-year-old, too. One minute, I'm obedient. The next, I'm screaming, "MINE! NO!" Oh how it must grieve His heart. How He must want to scream, "Don't you know how precious you are? Quit acting like that!!!" He is so faithful to discipline me with a firm but loving hand when I need it (quite often I must admit). Thankfully, He makes no excuses for me. He loves me too much for that.

So, even though she's "only 2," and she looks precious in her cowboy boots, I know I have to choose to do the hard thing and make no excuses for her sinful nature. I must discipline her with a loving and firm hand (or spoon:0). It's just so hard when she looks so cute!!! I think it's even harder for Gene...she knows how to "work" her daddy. Last night he took her to Chick-Fil-A while I had Bible study and as they were leaving I pulled her aside and said, "Eden, please obey your daddy." Sometimes it's funny to watch her work her magic on him. He just can't resist her cuteness. But, after spending a few hours alone with her sometimes I'll notice him becoming more firm with her. I'll think, "Yeah, it's not so cute now, is it?" He'll look so harried and exhausted and I just chuckle. He's such a good daddy.

Well, that's all for now. Hope all of you are doing well. Oh, and I'm happy to report that Eden has slept through the night several times in the last week. What an answer to prayer!

I Found the Peace and Quiet!

It's 12:42 AM on Saturday night and I'm updating our church's website. While I'm waiting for a 120MB video file to upload I switched over to another computer to read Keri's blog entries--so full have the days been I haven't even had the opportunity to soak in my wife's prayerful and loving thoughts on the whole adoption experience to date. I scrolled through them and nodded in agreement.

Eden is sleeping in the next room. She's just amazing. This afternoon while Keri went shopping Eden and I spent an hour or so after her nap playing in the living room. Sometimes I just stare at her little face and think, "Wow. God made that and I'm responsible for it." I keep wanting to go up to every dad I know and say, "I had no idea! I had no idea!"

More than anything I long to really be "daddy" and not just "guy who makes silly faces" to her... and that will just take lots of time. I'm praying about all her little doctor visits to come, and at the same time thankful that we just happen to be exactly where she'll get the very best medical care for her cleft palette and upper row of teeth that is available anywhere (coincidence? yeah, right. Thank you Lord for planning ahead!).

We took some pictures of her today that we wanted to be sorta "studio quality." The shots themselves are okay but I kept looking at them going, "Not good enough." I mean, I really wanted them to capture the heart of this little girl, you know? Heck, I'm a communications guy--I should be able to do this. I think the problem is that my subject matter moves too fast. I wish she had a slow-mo button.

By the way, the girl can poop. Thankfully Keri is a pro in the poop-handling department and has taken most of that task on daily. On the other hand, I am totally grossed out by the whole thing. I think she poops like 4-5 times a day, and by body weight she's got to be generating like 40% of her weight in poop every 24 hours. At first I was so out of touch with children I could not even tell she had pooped. Now I am acutely in tune with the poop. I can close my eyes right now and sense whether or not poop is present in the house...

I think I am going to pen a letter to the people who make the Diaper Genie and tell them they may have saved our home from permanent poopiness. We got all these boxes of diapers from folks and I thought at the time, "Geez, we're totally over-supplied." Not so. Again, more thank you notes to those who have given diapers. We're going through them at breakneck speed. I want to stock up--let's make sure we have extra boxes. What if we ever ran out? I don't even want to think about what would happen.

I've discovered I also like Eden's toy car keychain because it has cool sound effects. I'm seriously thinking of getting one for myself. I'm concerned that she is having all the fun. Certainly if I can make silly faces at her, I can also walk around with a Fisher Price keychain that makes a "moo" cow sound when I press it. I mean, who doesn't like that?

Oh, thank heavens the upload just finished. I'm headed to bed now--1:00 a.m. I used to stay up this late because it's where the peace and quiet is. I'll be snoring momentarily. You can likely hear me if you live in my area of Meadowbrook--Keri says I'm quite loud. Thank you for your continued prayers for Eden and our family. I'm so grateful for our friends and family and the many expressions of support for Eden and the adoption process we've received as we continue to navigate this new and interesting road of parenthood.