The Orphanage Visit

Hubby Gene here once again. I'll talk a little about our orphanage visit on Friday, though I am sure Keri will post her perspective at some point. We drove from Guangzhou to Maoming starting early in the morning--departing at 6:30 a.m. It's about 5 hours to this neighboring city to the southwest. This is where Zoey was found and lived her life up until a few days ago.

Maoming is much smaller than Guangzhou. It's filled with tens of thousands of people on mopeds. I've never seen so many motor scooters. We got to the orphanage just before lunch time. The staff led us up to the fourth floor playroom, where we met many of the caregivers. We got pictures of several children whose Lifeline parents asked us in advance to contact. We gave out some care packages to these kids and talked with the orphanage director.

Then we met Zoey's foster mom. It was really a rather unemotional experience, which surprised us. Zoey cried when she and some other teachers left the room, which was one of the few times she has showed any kind of great emotion, so we took that as a good sign. We gave her foster mom a gift and soon left the room. Our travel group had gathered some money and given it to the orphanage and they showed us the large pile of diapers they were able to purchase with the money.

The orphanage was comparatively nice, based on others Keri and I have seen around the world. They kids had good food, a roof over their heads, indoor plumbing and obviously had some good education resources. They took us to Zoey's preschool classroom and we saw her little chair with her Chinese name printed on the back of it. Her former teachers played with her there a few minutes.

Finally, they took us around front to Zoey's "finding spot"--the place where she was abandoned. We posed for a picture there, but neither Keri nor I felt like smiling. Zoey is abandoned no more, so we felt that we kinda checked that off our bucket list and were soon ready to move on. The orphanage director treated us to a nice lunch, and then we started the long ride back to Guangzhou.

I should mention that about 2/3 of the way back the headlights went out on the bus, so the driver kept going, on the highway, in the pitch black dark, and we were all scared to death. Keri started singing "Jesus, Take the Wheel" to lighten the mood and after some prayer and nail biting we arrived safely back at the hotel. I was gonna do room service at that point, since we were so tired and it was around 8:00 p.m., but we found out a room service hamburger was $30, so I opted for McDonald's instead.

The orphanage visit did shed some light on Zoey on the behavioral side. Honestly, though, we will have to wait until we get home to get her on a regular schedule and begin addressing her needs in earnest. The visit was really just a puzzle piece for us, and hopefully God will show us how this fits in her personality and behavior as we get a few months down the road.

Zoey is really a sweetheart. We love her smile and her laugh. She readily reaches for Keri and has begun repeating English words when we read to her. When she goes bathroom she says "bye bye" to her poop as it goes down the toilet. Keri has pulled out some matching outfits, which Eden just loves, and we've gotten lots of great pictures.

Today (Saturday) is more paperwork and finalizing matters before Monday's U.S. Consulate appointment. Just a few days left now before we hit the airport for home. Keri and I are both ready to be back in the States. We continue to ask for your prayers for us for safe travel, for Zoey's bonding and for God to be honored through our actions and speech here on the other side of the world.

Day One with Zoey

Hello friends...this is Keri posting.  Zoey is napping and Eden is at the pool with Daddy so I have a few moments to try and collect my thoughts on becoming a family of four.  First and foremost, we are grateful...grateful to be here, at this place, at this time.  The Lord performed a miracle getting us here.  My sweet husband worked tirelessly for 2 years to get to this little girl.  Many of you gave sacrificially and prayed for us...and here we are.  The adoption became official this morning when we returned to the Civil affairs office...but let me back up and give you details of yesterday from mama's perspective...

We got up and had our paperwork meeting with Rebecca (our Lifeline person here).  She was AWESOME!  She did a great job of managing our expectations and she even knew some of our kiddos because of Lifeline's partnership with MaoMing.  She actually warned me that Zoey would not like me, or anyone for that matter, because she doesn't do well with strangers.  Part of our paperwork meeting was having the schedule and information about our children that the orphanage sent translated so that we would know what questions we had when we met the orphanage director later on.  Miko (another Lifeline worker who lives here) sat and translated for me.  We found out Zoey's daily schedule, food she eats, bathroom and sleeping routines, and some information about her development and personality.  She was described as delayed, which we knew.  She was described as peaceful and quiet, slow to react, language delayed and cognitively delayed as well as small in size.  We knew most of this before we came.

So, after paperwork we gathered our "bag of tricks" which for us included a Tigger pez despenser (HUGE HIT), Puff snacks, water bottle, and a couple of toys.  Armed with paperwork, cameras, and butterflies in my stomach, we set off for the Civil Affairs office.  Once there, we were herded to sit and wait.  They called all MaoMing families up and started literally pulling the kids one by one out of the playroom and thrusting them at us.  It was chaotic, surreal, and somewhat funny looking back.  Zoey came out last.  I will never forget that moment as long as I live.  Gene, Eden and I were waiting and they shoved her out and she walked out grinning from ear to ear, looking around, having (I'm convinced) absolutely no idea what was going on. She was just looking all around and grinning.

I finally got her attention and took her hand and walked her over to the side so we could officially meet for the first time.  Mother and daughter, father and daughter, sister and sister, grandmother and granddaughter...finally we were on the same continent, in the same country, in the same province, in the same city, in the same room.  Her reaction was so completely different from our experience with Eden that I was taken aback.  Earlier in the day we found out what "foster care" looked like for her.  She spent her days in the orphanage, and had several other children in her foster home...so there is not the strong attachment Eden had with her foster mom.  Plus, Eden lived with one family from 3 months until we got her at 19 months, and Zoey didn't go until she was 2.

Zoey did cry a little bit yesterday, but not enough in my opinion.  She is sweet and funny, but I can tell we have a long way to go to teach her to attach to anyone.  She is cooperative and playful.  She never resists and doesn't seem scared of anything (baths, strollers, new surroundings/people, brushing teeth, changing clothes).  When we are in the hotel room she is much more engaged.  But when we leave the room she completely zones out...it may be just too much for her - or that may be how she normally is...don't know yet.  What I do know is that this little girl THRIVES with one-on-one attention.  She delights in it.  She craves it.

After we brought her back yesterday we played a little, bathed, ate, and went to bed.  She slept great...but has pretty significant repetitive rocking in her sleep.  I'm assuming it's self-soothing habits from long ago and have no idea what to do because Eden didn't do that.  She woke up happy and smiling this morning.  Ate a great breakfast and then we went back to Civil Affairs to finalize the adoption.  Hasn't cried a bit today...once again, that's not normal.  Any "normal" 3 1/2 year old would be freaking out if they were just taken away less than 24 hours ago from everything familiar.  Eden grieved so hard, and Zoey not at all so far.  So, we will just take it day by day and let the experts at the International Adoption Clinic help us when we get home. 

I'm gonna be transparent here for a minute...I'd rather her be grieving.  With Eden, her grief was so deep that I knew she was very attached to her foster mother.  What I see in Zoey - and it is WAY too early to know for sure - is a little girl who has never truly attached.  She has definitely been well cared for physically.  She has been played with and watched and fed.  I am so grateful for that.  But she is so detached...from everything.  She watches and observes us - which is good.  But I honestly think if I let her, she would sit and play by herself all day long.  When I sit in the floor with her she lights up like a Christmas tree.  When we are alone in the room she will look me in the eye and somewhat engage...but out in public she completely closes down.  Some of this could be her developmental delay...not sure yet.  I do sense (once again too early to know for sure) that there is a true delay there and not just normal orphanage delays.

Oh, and she will eat until she makes herself sick.  So we will have to work on that, too. 

Overall, we are doing wonderfully.  Eden has been incredible.  Loving, patient, kind, and helpful.  Zoey won't engage her much but definitely isn't mean to her.  I think she's more used to playing around other kids than with them, which is typical for her age.  I know it won't be long until she loves her big sister.  I'm thankful there are 2 little girls and 2 little boys Eden's age who are biological kids in our travel group so the siblings are having a great time together while mommys and daddys focus on new little ones.  As usual, my mom is selflessly serving us however we need her to.  I am so grateful for her!

That's all for now...need to get her up so she'll sleep tonight.  Thank you for your prayers.  Love you all!

Jaw-Dropping Moment

Sorry I don't have any photos to post...I still haven't sat down to do the slideshow. But, I had to do a quick post about something that happened Thursday that literally made my jaw drop. For those of you who know Eden, she is quite the verbal, insightful, and sometimes bossy little 2 1/2-year-old...kind of like her mommy :0) Anyway, last Sunday they had to come get me out of our worship service because she wouldn't stop crying. This is the first time in a year that this has happened. They said she just sat in a rocking chair and refused to move because she was, "waiting for mommy."

The workers in our church nursery have walked this journey with us and are sensitive to Eden's attachment issues and the process of bonding that our family has been through. As soon as I got her, she was fine. Well, this past Thursday my friend was over to visit and I was telling her what happened. She said to Eden, "Eden, why were you crying? Were you afraid mommy wasn't coming back?" And Eden said, "Yes." Then my friend said, "That's silly, you know mommy always comes back." And then Eden said, clear as day, "My China mommy didn't come back." My friend and I just sat there for a minute, stunned and jaws open.

We talk a lot about Eden's foster mom when we look at photos and watch China video. It was apparent 5 minutes after they placed Eden in my arms that she had a healthy attachment to the foster mom who cared for her for the 15 months before we adopted her. But I have never said those words to her and she has never said them to me. We always just acknowledge who she is in photos and I tell her how much mommy loves her and how grateful we are for her, and how much she loved Eden.

I was shocked when she acknowledged verbally that fear that I know lives way down deep in any child's heart who has been taken away from someone they loved so much, and then learned to love another mommy and daddy. I explained to her that her foster mom didn't really "leave" her, it was time for her to come home forever. God sent her foster mom to take care of her until mommy and ba-ba could come bring her home. And when we came, God sent her foster mom to care for another baby while they waited for their mommy. I told her that her foster mom would always love her. Then Eden looked at me and said, very matter-of-factly, "Mommy came to China to get me." I said, "yes, baby." Then she got up and started playing.

I've read and heard so much about these subconscious memories and fears, and I've even seen evidence of it in Eden's behavior over the past year. But I honestly never thought that a child adopted at 19 months would be able to verbalize so well a year later. I know every child is different and there's no "right or wrong" way to handle these issues. I've chosen to speak very openly about her adoption as a blessing. I'm so glad now that the Lord led us to parent her this way. We often look at China travel books, photos of our trip, pray for her foster mom and other orphans, and she LOVES to watch the DVD, and seems aware of the sadness she felt on Gotcha Day.

I just had to share this because it so profoundly impacted me. The thing is, she wasn't grieved or upset...it was so simple and factual the way she said it. Reading between the lines it was like she was saying, "Well, I know mommy always comes back, but my China mommy didn't so sometimes I still get scared....bare with me people."

Anyway, our Gotcha Day is next Wednesday, July 23rd and I fully expect to cry all day long. I can't believe it's been a year. I can't believe this child is home and thriving. I feel so humbled to be her mommy. I'll post photos and video soon...I PROMISE!

2 New Additions

First of all...sorry it's been so long! We went to Oklahoma for a week for my sweet cousin, Mandy's, wedding, had construction done in our basement, and Eden and I have been passing a nasty cold back and forth. Life has been crazy! We are finally settling down a little.

The big news at the Mason house is our new pet turtles. Yes...turtles. Eden LOVES looking at the water turtles every time we go to the pet store. A couple of weeks ago, Gene got word that a friend had 2 water turtles he was giving away. We talked about it, researched it, and decided to take them. Needless to say, once I got the "habitat" for them including aquarium, filter, UVB light, basking lamp, cleaning supplies, turtle dock, etc., my "free" turtles were not so free. But they are SO fun to watch.

Here's the funny part. When my friend came over to bring them to us, we had a 30-minute conversation about what they like to eat, how much they poop, how to clean up after them, etc. Well, as Sam was leaving he asked Eden what she wanted to name them. She proudly answered, "Eat" for the little one and "Poop" for the big one. How appropriate! So our turtles are named Eat and Poop. Ahhh, the simplicity of the 2-year-old mind.

Hope you all have a great Easter! We are going to attempt to dye eggs today. I'll post photos of how we do. I promise to update more often!! Below are pics of Eden and her turtles. Enjoy!

Moo Moo Here?

"Eden had a birthday party... E-I-E-I-O! And at this party she had some cake... E-I-E-I-O!" Eden celebrated her 2nd birthday with her friends here in Birmingham on Jan. 26th. We waited until the holiday rush was over even though she turned 2 on Dec. 27th. I'm so glad we waited. She had so much fun!

We did an E-I-E-I-O theme since she LOVES the "Old McDonald" song. We had it here at home and invited many of our close friends and their children, and many friends who don't have children yet. These were the people who I say "prayed" Eden home from China. They love her so much and have been a constant source of encouragement to us throughout this journey. We love them dearly!

I made a cow cake and it turned out really cute! My mom brought puppets that she had made several years ago and I found a CD with "Old McDonald" on it. I recruited some "sports" from the adults, threw a sheet over our banister, and presto...a homemade puppet show. It scared Eden and one of her friends a little bit but overall it was a hit. We adults maybe liked it more than the kids did.

We let the kids play, then we ate pizza, opened presents and did cake. We had asked everyone to bring a small donation of blankets, clothes, etc. for Eden's old orphanage in Wuhan. And, everyone chipped in $5 to help with shipping costs. We ended up with more than a lawn-sized bag of items for the children at the orphanage. I can't wait to send it with updated photos of Eden. Thanks to EVERYONE who gave to these precious babies.

As Gene and I were talking about her party I remembered the photo we got of her last January. She was wearing a really nice, heavy orange Winnie the Pooh winter coat. I remember thinking, "Wow, what a nice coat...just like something I would buy her." I'm sure it was given to the orphanage. People gave to help care for her before we could do it ourselves, so we want to do the same for other children. We had asked everyone to bring a donation instead of a gift for Eden. But, everyone wanted to get her something, too. Such kind friends we have.

Here are some of my favorite photos of the party!

Eden's Birthday Outfit. It has a cupcake with 2 "puffs" on it. Of course, her Ja-Ja (my mom) gave it to her! She even has 2 pigtails!

Eden took the "farm" theme to a new level with her red hat she wears when she plays on her rocking horse!

Do you notice how the "kitchen" is full of boys? Why can't that happen in real life? I think some of the dads might have been a little bothered by how much their boys loved Eden's pink kitchen.

So do you think she had fun?

The E-I-E-I-O puppet show.

Eden and her friends eating pizza.

Eden is ready to blow out her candles.

The cow cake.

I'll never get tired of that smile.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. Eden LOVES it!

Opening gifts. She got books, bath toys, a robe, a microwave for her kitchen, & 2 Noah's Ark sets.

Eden laughed so hard playing with her "Uncle Daniel" with her new microwave oven. He was acting like the chicken was really hot and burning his hands and she was cracking up!

The donations for the orphanage in Wuhan, China.

We're Doing Great!

Hey everyone! Sorry these posts aren't coming frequently enough for some of you but there isn't as much to "report" these days. Eden is doing so well! We went back for our follow-up visit with the International Adoption Clinic today and found out some great news from a medical standpoint. Eden has most of the vaccines she should have and no parasites were found, which is so great! She had gained 2 pounds which inches her closer to "normal" for her height. She did still have some fluid in her ears even after 10 days of antibiotics and the pediatrician said she feels like Eden will need tubes. We will know more once we have our appointment with the Cleft Clinic at Children's Hospital. We go there on Sept. 6th to get the "down low" on how to proceed with treatment for Eden's mouth issues.

She is learning words and speaking well. The bonding is a slow and steady process. We were encouraged after meeting with the behavioral specialist at the Adoption Clinic today because she assured us that Eden is right where she needs to be and we want her to be bonding wise. The fact that she is "waiting" (as the specialist called it) to give her trust and love to us fully shows us that she had a strong, healthy bond with her caregiver in China. This is a good thing for Eden. We are seeing so much progress in her each day.

She has really opened up to me emotionally. Daddy is still more of a playmate, but Eden absolutely ADORES him and lights up when he comes home each day. The progress I see is her coming to me consistently any time she has a true need. From feeling unsure around new people, to being tired, to being hungry or thirsty, she comes to me every time for these needs to be met. She also is beginning to want to be held by me A LOT. She is allowing me to shower her with affection, and is beginning to offer affection to me. If I ask for a kiss, I almost always get one. Every now and then she initiates affection. The one in the house getting most of Eden's love is our chocolate lab Maggie. Eden sits on her, lays on her, shares toys and food with her, and most of all kisses her probably 25 times each day. Every day Eden's personality emerges a little more.

The latest thing I have learned is that she is somewhat of a girly-girl. Her newest word is "bow" and she points to her hair anytime I put her on the changing table. We put the bow in her hair, then she stands up to admire herself in the mirror as she grins from ear to ear. Then she gets down, pulls the bow out of her hair and runs off to play. She really enjoyed the pink fairy skirt and wand that my mom gave her. She also likes to carry her "purse" around the house loaded with "loot."

We took our first visit to Anniston, where my parents live, this past weekend and Eden did great. We visited my mom's 2nd grade class and they had made a huge banner for Eden and drawn pictures of her on it. Several of mom's students from last year and the 2nd grade teachers showered us with love and gifts. Eden LOVED being with all the children. She even sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with them. Then on Saturday we introduced her to my 2 brothers' families. She enjoyed playing with her cousins, who were so good with her. They were so excited to meet her. Then on Sunday we took her to meet the precious people in my parent's Sunday school class who had so faithfully prayed for us while we were in China. We only stayed for a few minutes but it was so important for me to let them see what their prayers had helped accomplish and to say "thank you." They loved meeting sweet Eden.

We will definitely be laying low this week since we had such a big weekend. Eden did great, though. Several times a day I would just take her away from everyone for a few minutes to snuggle and "re-connect." And we continue to enforce the "no holding" and "no giving her food" rule. We did allow my parents to pick her up for photos or for a quick kiss. She loves her Ja Ja (my mom) and Peepaw (my step-dad). She also loved my mom's 2 dogs and kissed them all weekend. I am still not ready to leave her with anyone, but I hope to begin letting my sister watch her for an hour each Sunday so I can attend one of the church services in another month or so. I miss attending the worship services so much but these precious moments of forming this bond with my daughter will never come again.

Thankfully, I can listen to the sermons online, the the church has come to us as people have cared for and loved on us so much. Thank you all for the continued support and prayers. I love you all. Eden is calling for me to get up from her nap so I have to go. Hope to post again soon!