Jaw-Dropping Moment

Sorry I don't have any photos to post...I still haven't sat down to do the slideshow. But, I had to do a quick post about something that happened Thursday that literally made my jaw drop. For those of you who know Eden, she is quite the verbal, insightful, and sometimes bossy little 2 1/2-year-old...kind of like her mommy :0) Anyway, last Sunday they had to come get me out of our worship service because she wouldn't stop crying. This is the first time in a year that this has happened. They said she just sat in a rocking chair and refused to move because she was, "waiting for mommy."

The workers in our church nursery have walked this journey with us and are sensitive to Eden's attachment issues and the process of bonding that our family has been through. As soon as I got her, she was fine. Well, this past Thursday my friend was over to visit and I was telling her what happened. She said to Eden, "Eden, why were you crying? Were you afraid mommy wasn't coming back?" And Eden said, "Yes." Then my friend said, "That's silly, you know mommy always comes back." And then Eden said, clear as day, "My China mommy didn't come back." My friend and I just sat there for a minute, stunned and jaws open.

We talk a lot about Eden's foster mom when we look at photos and watch China video. It was apparent 5 minutes after they placed Eden in my arms that she had a healthy attachment to the foster mom who cared for her for the 15 months before we adopted her. But I have never said those words to her and she has never said them to me. We always just acknowledge who she is in photos and I tell her how much mommy loves her and how grateful we are for her, and how much she loved Eden.

I was shocked when she acknowledged verbally that fear that I know lives way down deep in any child's heart who has been taken away from someone they loved so much, and then learned to love another mommy and daddy. I explained to her that her foster mom didn't really "leave" her, it was time for her to come home forever. God sent her foster mom to take care of her until mommy and ba-ba could come bring her home. And when we came, God sent her foster mom to care for another baby while they waited for their mommy. I told her that her foster mom would always love her. Then Eden looked at me and said, very matter-of-factly, "Mommy came to China to get me." I said, "yes, baby." Then she got up and started playing.

I've read and heard so much about these subconscious memories and fears, and I've even seen evidence of it in Eden's behavior over the past year. But I honestly never thought that a child adopted at 19 months would be able to verbalize so well a year later. I know every child is different and there's no "right or wrong" way to handle these issues. I've chosen to speak very openly about her adoption as a blessing. I'm so glad now that the Lord led us to parent her this way. We often look at China travel books, photos of our trip, pray for her foster mom and other orphans, and she LOVES to watch the DVD, and seems aware of the sadness she felt on Gotcha Day.

I just had to share this because it so profoundly impacted me. The thing is, she wasn't grieved or upset...it was so simple and factual the way she said it. Reading between the lines it was like she was saying, "Well, I know mommy always comes back, but my China mommy didn't so sometimes I still get scared....bare with me people."

Anyway, our Gotcha Day is next Wednesday, July 23rd and I fully expect to cry all day long. I can't believe it's been a year. I can't believe this child is home and thriving. I feel so humbled to be her mommy. I'll post photos and video soon...I PROMISE!

Beach Trip

Hey everyone! Eden and I (mommy) were able to slip away to the beach for a couple of days last week with my mom, grandmother, brother, and niece and nephew who are here from FL for the month. I am going to get Gene to help me do a slideshow later because there are so many AMAZING photos. But, I'm posting a few of my favorites to "hold you over" since I haven't put pictures up in a while. Hope you enjoy them!

We went to Gulf Shores and it was Eden's first time at the beach. She kept calling the ocean the "big pool." She LOVED it and the sand didn't bother her one bit. In fact, she had sand in places that the sun don't shine, people! Eden loves the water. Several times I sat in awe as I remember how absolutely terrified she was of even a bath 11 months ago when we brought her home from China. Now, she will jump off the diving board with no hesitation..."all by herself."

She is so strong willed. Her favorite words these days are: "No mommy, Eden do it!" We are coming along well on potty training. We have pee pee down but poo poo is still an issue. She just prefers to do it in a pull up. Any suggestions? She will say she needs to go, we will sit on the potty and read for like 30 minutes and nothing happens. But then she'll poop 10 minutes after we get up in her panties. Help experienced moms!

We went to the cleft clinic for our 6-month visit last month and got a great report. We will go for a full speech evaluation in 6 more months and if that is normal then we won't have to go back until it's time for her first cosmetic surgery when she is 4 years old. We LOVE Dr. Grant and his team.

That's really all that's new with us right now. I can't believe our 1-year anniversary of Gotcha Day is next month...July 23rd. It seems like she's been mine forever, and yet the last year has flown by. Eden loves to pull our the "China DVD" that Gene made me for Christmas. She narrates each part and loves to tell others her story as she watches. She'll say, "poor Eden" on the parts where she is sad. And the funniest thing is the footage from Gotcha Day where Eden was sitting with the nanny looking at me and I'm trying to get her to come to me, she'll say, "Eden not know," which is how she expresses that she didn't know us and was unsure about letting me hold her. It's a hoot!

Well, I need to go. I still haven't finished Eden's "Life Book" from her adoption and I'm bound and determined to get it done. She's with her Ba-Ba visiting Meemaw and Peepaw so this is a good time to work on it. Oh, and did I mention we got a Guinea Pig and named her China? So now we have 2 dogs, 2 turtles and a guinea pig. Am I crazy???

Here are the beach pictures. I'll post the slide show later.

Playing on the beach.

Check out those legs! Couldn't you just eat them up???

Eden loves the sand!

Precious, just precious! These are the shots that will make me cry when Eden is all grown up!

I call this the Pottery Barn Kids photo. I don't know how my mom managed to get this one...Eden is never still!

I love candid photos like this. Eden loves her cousins, Hayden and Savannah.

We're Doing Great!

Hey everyone! Sorry these posts aren't coming frequently enough for some of you but there isn't as much to "report" these days. Eden is doing so well! We went back for our follow-up visit with the International Adoption Clinic today and found out some great news from a medical standpoint. Eden has most of the vaccines she should have and no parasites were found, which is so great! She had gained 2 pounds which inches her closer to "normal" for her height. She did still have some fluid in her ears even after 10 days of antibiotics and the pediatrician said she feels like Eden will need tubes. We will know more once we have our appointment with the Cleft Clinic at Children's Hospital. We go there on Sept. 6th to get the "down low" on how to proceed with treatment for Eden's mouth issues.

She is learning words and speaking well. The bonding is a slow and steady process. We were encouraged after meeting with the behavioral specialist at the Adoption Clinic today because she assured us that Eden is right where she needs to be and we want her to be bonding wise. The fact that she is "waiting" (as the specialist called it) to give her trust and love to us fully shows us that she had a strong, healthy bond with her caregiver in China. This is a good thing for Eden. We are seeing so much progress in her each day.

She has really opened up to me emotionally. Daddy is still more of a playmate, but Eden absolutely ADORES him and lights up when he comes home each day. The progress I see is her coming to me consistently any time she has a true need. From feeling unsure around new people, to being tired, to being hungry or thirsty, she comes to me every time for these needs to be met. She also is beginning to want to be held by me A LOT. She is allowing me to shower her with affection, and is beginning to offer affection to me. If I ask for a kiss, I almost always get one. Every now and then she initiates affection. The one in the house getting most of Eden's love is our chocolate lab Maggie. Eden sits on her, lays on her, shares toys and food with her, and most of all kisses her probably 25 times each day. Every day Eden's personality emerges a little more.

The latest thing I have learned is that she is somewhat of a girly-girl. Her newest word is "bow" and she points to her hair anytime I put her on the changing table. We put the bow in her hair, then she stands up to admire herself in the mirror as she grins from ear to ear. Then she gets down, pulls the bow out of her hair and runs off to play. She really enjoyed the pink fairy skirt and wand that my mom gave her. She also likes to carry her "purse" around the house loaded with "loot."

We took our first visit to Anniston, where my parents live, this past weekend and Eden did great. We visited my mom's 2nd grade class and they had made a huge banner for Eden and drawn pictures of her on it. Several of mom's students from last year and the 2nd grade teachers showered us with love and gifts. Eden LOVED being with all the children. She even sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with them. Then on Saturday we introduced her to my 2 brothers' families. She enjoyed playing with her cousins, who were so good with her. They were so excited to meet her. Then on Sunday we took her to meet the precious people in my parent's Sunday school class who had so faithfully prayed for us while we were in China. We only stayed for a few minutes but it was so important for me to let them see what their prayers had helped accomplish and to say "thank you." They loved meeting sweet Eden.

We will definitely be laying low this week since we had such a big weekend. Eden did great, though. Several times a day I would just take her away from everyone for a few minutes to snuggle and "re-connect." And we continue to enforce the "no holding" and "no giving her food" rule. We did allow my parents to pick her up for photos or for a quick kiss. She loves her Ja Ja (my mom) and Peepaw (my step-dad). She also loved my mom's 2 dogs and kissed them all weekend. I am still not ready to leave her with anyone, but I hope to begin letting my sister watch her for an hour each Sunday so I can attend one of the church services in another month or so. I miss attending the worship services so much but these precious moments of forming this bond with my daughter will never come again.

Thankfully, I can listen to the sermons online, the the church has come to us as people have cared for and loved on us so much. Thank you all for the continued support and prayers. I love you all. Eden is calling for me to get up from her nap so I have to go. Hope to post again soon!