Final Preparations

Well, this is our last weekend in our home as a family of 3.  To be honest, I have mixed emotions.  While I am so excited to be bring Zoey home and into our family, I keep finding myself pausing to savor these last days with the three of us.  I know Zoey will make our lives fuller and richer...but change is hard and scary.  The reality of what we are about to do is setting in as we make final preparations.  As I added another booster seat to our table this week, the reality of one more mouth to feed, set of dishes to wash, manners to teach, etc. set in.  As I began filling her dresser drawers the added laundry became apparent.  I bought a few extra towels, a toothbrush and realized that's one more bath time, teeth to brush, story to read each night.  As I prepared toys for her, I realized there will be bigger messes, more clutter, less free time.  As I taught Eden this week I kept thinking, "How am I going to do this with a toddler running around?"  Each task I did this week I kept factoring in Zoey...

It is real.  She is not just a photo but a living, breathing little person with 3 1/2 years of history that has nothing to do with me.  She will come to us with preferences, opinions, fears, language, memories, relationships, and customs that we know nothing of.  She is likely to be broken, scarred, what Pat Robertson called "damaged."  A week from Monday, her world will forever change...and so will mine.  It is not an ending, but a beginning.  I have learned from experience that those first days are not indicative of all that our relationship will become.  She may call me "mama"...but it will take time for me to be her "mommy."  I told my neighbor today that I am not excited at all about meeting Zoey.  What mother who has given birth before is excited about labor?  I am excited to bring Zoey home, but meeting her scares the living daylights out of me.  It's not the dreamy, lovely image that most imagine.  It's not horrible, either...I would describe it as chaotic.  It's later that the snuggles come...the warm feeling that floods every part of your soul...the silent prayers of thanksgiving as tears stream down...that's what I long for...that's what I hope for.

I have gotten so many questions from friends about what we are going to do to communicate and bond since Zoey is 3 1/2.  My answer is always, "I have no idea.  I'm gonna just go with the flow."  If you know me, you just laughed out loud because I am a planner.  But one thing motherhood has taught me is there is no plan.  I have ideas, but they may not work.  I have intentions, but I'll have to play it by ear.  There is no "Baby Wise" for adopting a child this age...no formula...there are too many unknowns.  I take great comfort in knowing she has been prayed for by so many.  I have asked the Lord for supernatural wisdom and grace and I am trusting Him to supply it according to His perfect timing.

So, as we spend our last few days at home, enjoy these pictures of Eden and Zoey's newly decorated room.  And thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your prayers and support.

Eden's Bunk

Zoey's Bunk

My favorite - the corner shelf

Dresser, they each get a side

Zoey's side of the closet

Eden's side

Reading area

View in from the hall

The hilarious door sign Eden insisted on having

Christmas in September

It is like Christmas morning at the Mason home this week.  We received an email from our social worker saying our Travel Approval (TA) is on the way...meaning it's been issued and mailed.  She hopes to have it in her hands today (Friday) or Monday.  Once she has it, she will apply for our consulate appointment and we will know our travel dates.  My prayer is that we will know exact information by the middle of next week...can you believe it?

We have decided to attempt to go ahead and travel during the Guangzhou Trade Fair, which means our hotel rooms are more expensive.  This was a HARD decision, and one that, to be honest, I still have mixed feelings about.  We could wait until November to travel and save a significant amount of money...but we have talked and prayed and decided to go ahead and request the earliest consulate appointment available.  Please pray for God's gracious provision for these added expenses.

The next bit of good news was that Eden and Zoey's long-awaited bedroom furniture, which was backordered for several months, is being delivered Saturday.  My child is so pumped about getting bunk beds...and her sister to share a room.  I will post pictures once it's all put together.

And last but not least...we finally got an update on our sweet girl.  Adorable doesn't even begin to describe her.  We got updated measurements as well.  At 3 1/2 she weighs 28 pounds (likely fully clothed, with shoes) and is about 36 inches tall...not too small for her race but definitely on the tiny side for US kids.  I'm thinking my guess of 2T clothes will be about right.

So, Merry Christmas from our home to yours :0)  Enjoy the pictures...and I will update with details as I have them.

Waiting With Hope

We are officially on our second week of waiting on Travel Approval.  This past weekend some sweet friends came to stay with us and attend the Together for Adoption Conference that our church hosted.  I tagged along on Saturday and it was SO REFRESHING for this momma's heart.  Just that morning, I had been up early praying for sweet Zoey.  I was asking the Lord to soften my heart to her and help me to feel a deep connection to her.  You see, before we adopted Eden, I had so much free time as a homemaker without children yet to spend literally hours in uninterrupted prayer for Eden.  But now, as a homeschooling momma, wife, homemaker and freelance writer I am often doing good to have a quiet time and shower in the same day...moms everywhere are nodding their heads in agreement.  As the time gets closer to meet Zoey, fear and worry has begun to creep in...doubts and guilt when comparing how I prepared for Eden versus how I have for Zoey.  I am assured this is true in most "second child" cases, whether bio or adopted.  But it still feels yucky.

The Lord was so kind to quickly answer my prayer as I heard several "nuggets" that I know were just for me and Zoey...sweet reminders that I needed.  Hearing from the Lord renewed my hope and filled my "waiting tank"...at least for now.  I particularly enjoyed hearing from Noel Piper about things she wished she'd have known when she first became a momma; and from Tony Merida (co-author of Orphanology) about the Spirit of adoption.  Both were so encouraging!  I also got to meet the ladies at 147 million, whose blog I follow.  I also met Stephanie at Wild Olive, and got some great shirts for my girls.

So, we begin another week of waiting and trusting and praying.  One day soon my phone is gonna ring and the words "Travel Approval" are going to be spoken into my ear.  I get chills just imagining.  Once that call comes we will secure our Consulate Appointment and I will finally have travel dates to share.  As that day approaches, my prayers have shifted from process to person.  My heart has grown heavily burdened for what faces my future daughter.  My concern is not so much getting on the plane, as her heart being prepared for all that lies ahead.  I am begging the Lord to move her foster mom to show our picture daily and try to explain to her, as best she can, what is coming.  I know this shift in focus, for me, is like dilation in labor.  I sense in my gut that "labor" is beginning.  Soon I will go.  Soon she will leave.  The breaking will occur so the healing can begin.  And since I'm not physically with child, labor changes happen in the womb of my heart.  It's different, and yet very much the same, I would guess.  My groans are in prayer, and will be in grief for my child.

I am inadequate.  Yet I am indwelled by the Spirit who knows my child best.  I have only questions.  Yet I am led by the Spirit who has every answer.  Often I don't even know how to pray.  Yet my Jesus sits in heaven interceding for me and for Zoey.  I boast in these weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

And so we wait still...with hope, joy and confidence in the God who has never let us down!

Prove It!

James 2:14-26

“As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.”  James 2:26

Have you ever heard the phrase; “Actions speak louder than words”?  How about, “The proof is in the pudding”?  When I was a kid, there was a familiar scene on the elementary school playground almost every day.  Inevitably someone would boast about how fast he could run or how high he could climb, and his bragging would be met with a familiar, “Oh yeah?  Prove it!”  If I could sum up James 2:14-26 into a simple phrase it would be, “Prove it.” 

On the “playground” of religion, many claim to have faith.  Research shows that 92% of Americans say they believe in God, and 76% say they believe in Jesus Christ.  Why, then, is there a continuing moral decline in our country?  If the overwhelming majority of people believe in Jesus Christ, why isn’t that supposed faith translating into our culture?

There is a difference in saying you believe and actually believing.  The first involves only lip service, but the second requires the messy business of living out your faith in Jesus Christ.  And according to James 2:26, the two are inseparable.  True faith will always be accompanied by life proof.  Deeds are the life of faith just as the spirit is the life of the body.  James is not suggesting that we are saved by our deeds.  The root of salvation is always and only grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8).  Deeds, however, are the fruit…the evidence that the root, which is unseen, is indeed there. 

Abraham is the example James gives in this passage (verse 23).  When he obediently offered Isaac as a sacrifice, his deed fulfilled what God had said about him.  God credited Abraham’s faith as righteousness before Isaac was even born.  This proves that it wasn’t Abraham’s obedience that saved him, but it proved his salvation was real.  His faith and actions were working together.  The two are inseparable.  

How can faith be proven without deeds?  Even Almighty God, who is invisible, proves His existence and character by His works.  How much more so then should we, His children, do the same?  Salvation is eternal.  It is an unseen work that shifts us from the physical to the spiritual realm, moving us from death to life.  On the outside we look the same, yet in reality something has drastically changed.  And if you try to explain that to someone, you are likely to be met with a schoolyard, “Prove it!”  And while it is not our job to prove God is real; it is our job to prove He is real in us.