Still Waiting...

We are still waiting for our Letter of Acceptance to arrive.  It should come any day now...but that does not mean it will.  This is by far the hardest part of the process...it was with Eden, too.  Once you have that picture of your child-to-be it is excruciating and frustrating to wait.  The estimate wait for this step is 60-90 days and we are at day 97 (give or take).

Please pray for my heart during this last stretch.  I want to be honest...I tend to pull away from the Lord when I get frustrated, instead of running to Him.  I know He is in control and I am not promised tomorrow so I want to honor Him each and every hour we have to wait.  This is an area I need to grow in tremendously...as I tend to become easily depressed and "shut down," so to speak.  I am resolving to run to and not from His Word and His ways.  They are good - even when I can't see what the hold-up is!

On another note, I had an amazing opportunity to serve the refugee children of Clarkston, GA 2 weeks ago.  Our church partnered with Friends of Refugees to staff the first week of their summer camp.  I wish I could describe what I saw.  I loved on children from Burma, South Sudan, Vietnam, Bosnia, Ethiopia, Nepal, Afghanistan, and more.  As the children started arriving Monday morning it looked like a U.N. Summit...talk about every nation, tribe and tongue!  And to think this is 30 minutes from my house.

I connected in a special way with a little 2nd grader from Burma.  I visited her family a few times and our family is in the process of "adopting"this sweet family through World Relief (the relocation agency who brought them to GA).  Eden went to camp with Gene and I (as a "camper") and she and this little girl could be seen all week holding hands.  My mom got to go serve with us...it was an unforgettable week!  I look forward to walking alongside this family as they settle in the US.  They have only been here 1 month and speak no English...it is amazing how much you can communicate with gestures and pointing :0)  They face so much in the days ahead...learning to use food stamps, public transport, registering children for school, getting shot records/physicals, using Medicaid, learning english...the list goes on and on.  I am so humbled to advocate for this family and love them.

I sure hope to have some great news from China soon.  Until then, the joy of the Lord is our strength.  Thank you for your prayers...we need them!

Here are some pictures from our week at camp:

Sweet little one at the block party

My new friend, Hannah, teaching me to make Iraqi bread 

Eden with her new friends at camp...learning about respect 

This is what Hannah served us for an impromptu "visit" to her home 

 Beautiful girl...

Silly boys... 

Beauty of South Sudan... 

Our visit to Hannah's home... 

Another pretty girl...

For Zoey...

Photo Taken June 1, 2012

My sweet Zoey Faith:
Today, I received new pictures of you.  They literally took my breath away.  I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.  I am happy to see you smiling, playing, and growing well.  But my heart breaks that I am missing these moments that I can never get back.  Someone else saw you roll over the first time, take your first steps, say your first words...and I missed it all.  While all these "firsts" were happening in China, you did have a family here in the USA that was longing to meet you.  And now that I have your face...your story, it defines this longing in my heart that has been there for a child that only God knew for several years now.

We began the adoption process again about 3 years ago...and it was our plan to adopt a child from Africa.  But God closed the door to that plan...and a year later we switched our application for China.  See?  God was preparing us for you, little one.  When there was no one else, He heard your every cry...and I don't just mean your physical cries.  I mean the deep cry of your heart to be wanted and loved and cherished.  Your Creator knew you when I didn't.  And He has held you while I cannot.  I trust that His Spirit has soothed you and His angels have guarded you.

And now?  In His perfect plan He has given me the most incredible gift.  I get to be your mommy.  In a few months, He will place you in my arms.  Oh, it will be an orphanage nanny who will hand you to me...but I know from Whom you come.  Finally, I will get to rub my cheek against yours, look into your eyes and tell you that you belong...you are chosen and loved and treasured.  I realize that you may not like me at first...and that's okay, baby.  You probably don't even understand what a family is by God's design. I want you to know that I respect the love you have for those who have cared for you for your first 3 1/2 years.  I promise not to get jealous or mad when you miss them and grieve for them.  You do not have to hide these feelings from me.  I want to help you through the ocean of sadness, fear and confusion that lies ahead.  I pray it is easy for you.  But if it isn't...I am here...no matter what.

It will take both of us time to learn how to love one another.  This won't happen instantly.  I have no idea what our first days, weeks and months together will be like.  But I know that I cannot wait to meet you.  And honey, I will fail you.  As much as I'll try not to...I will.  Thankfully, I serve a God who forgives me and redeems even my mistakes for your good and His glory.  He will be faithful to you when I mess up.  And the best thing I can do for you is to point you to Him.

And Zoey...we are going to have so much fun, baby!  There are so many firsts that I will get to do with you.  We can't wait to take you to the zoo...we have pandas from China right here in Atlanta!  We also have an awesome aquarium...your sister likes to crawl in the penguin tunnel.  We have a pool in our neighborhood where I will teach you to swim.  The kids in the neighborhood can't wait to play with you...and we saved Eden's small princess bike just for you.  I can't wait to take you to the beach, and your daddy is already talking about a trip to Disney World, where you can meet all the princesses!

You know where we'll have the most fun?  At home.  Home, baby.  We like to have family nights when we play games, watch movies, pop popcorn, and just giggle and snuggle.  There is one empty chair at our table reserved just for you.  I know you like to be read to...and we have shelves of books you will love.  I can't wait to see what else you like to do!

Zoey, we chose your name because it means "life."  We long to share our lives with you.  People often tell us, "You are giving her such a better life."  But baby, from our perspective it's the other way around.  I have no doubt that there will be struggles and challenges, but I know that your life will bring such joy to our family.  We cannot wait to meet you.  And above all else, please know that you are so very, very loved.

On Christ's Behalf,
Mommy

Zoey at 3 years, 3 months old