The Reason Why

This is a sweet baby I met in South Africa who is HIV positive. Her mother refused to take her to free clinic to get the medicine she needs. She was only 4 months old and had an opportunistic infection all over her beautiful cheeks.

"We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty." Mother Teresa

I found this quote online this morning. It communicates my heart, my passion, and I am convinced our God's passion as well. It reminds me of the reason I am mailing our application in this month to begin our 2nd adoption...from Africa this time. It reminds me why I am doing this amidst a flood of thoughts of fear, doubt and questions.

The first time I was so brave...because I was so ignorant of the process, both of paperwork, and the emotional process of bonding and healing the broken child's heart. This time I know...and I am not so brave. This time I have less time, less resources, less confidence. But this time I also have Eden...her hugs and "I love you more than the world, mommy" words that remind me of what is possible. She reminds me what God desires for every orphan. Not money, or middle-class America. But love, hope, and most of all, the chance to know Him...the One Whose wrath rages against the injustice that orphaned them to begin with. The One Who hears every cry, and counts each tear.

This time will be different. There will be fundraising and grant-writing. This time there will be more questions, and prejudice towards the stark difference in our skin color. There will be more sacrifice financially...and that brings thoughts of uncertainty and fear. That exposes the ugly sin of materialism that we all struggle with...it makes us come face to face with want versus need. And that's not a bad thing. Thankfully, perfect love casts out all fear. Thankfully God is for me and not against me. Thankfully, He will guide each step, each delay, each dollar, each piece of paperwork.

So today, among a sea of emotions...I am reminded. God loves adoption. After all, He is the One who came up with the idea (Ephesians 1). Please pray with us as we embark on this journey. There is so much that lies ahead.

The first time I held my daughter.

"I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of of sorrow."
Jeremiah 31:13

3 months later