How do you even do it? How do you even begin to try and put into words the depth of God's love and grace during this season? I cry every day. This is not my first Christmas as a believer - but this year everything seems so...real. John chapter 1 says, "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us." God as a newborn, then a toddler, then a teenager, then a crucified and risen Savior. God with us. Emmanuel. Wow! There are no words. As I contemplate the birth of Christ with a toddler in my home it brings this reality alive in my mind and in my heart. When Eden does something silly, or needs a diaper change, or tee-tees in the potty like a big girl, or asks to be held and cuddled I think, "Jesus did these things." How humbling!
For 2 years we "looked forward to" meeting our daughter in the flesh. She was alive in our minds and in our hearts...but she wasn't here with us. We hoped and we waited and we dreamed and we imagined. We prayed and we prepared and we wept and we believed. We watched the mailbox waiting for I-171's and passports and visa's. And then one day, July 23, 2007, Eden "became" flesh to us and dwelt among us. She came to live with us. She became real to us. What a miracle!
I can't help but see the parallel in this adoption process. And I can't help but think how many thousands of people are going through all the motions of the Christmas holiday, but Christ isn't real to them. He is just a story, a Christmas carol, an idea, an excuse to be off work and exchange gifts...but not their Lord, Savior and friend. Not their rock, refuge and strength.
You might be thinking, "Keri, you are way over-thinking this!" Maybe so. I have been quite contemplative with things that I used to just "gloss over" now that I'm a mommy. You see, Eden mimics me...in every way. When I yell, "GO!" in traffic, she yells it, too. She sits in the bathroom and pretends to put creams on her face and contact lenses in her eyes. She tries to repeat what I say. When I hug Gene, she hugs Gene. When I kiss him, she follows suit. When I tell him "I love you" so does she. She is like a dry sponge soaking everything in.
So, what about Christmas? What attitudes, traditions and values am I pouring into her? She is so teachable right now. So eager to please and to learn. These are precious days with her. So this year, we're talking A LOT more about Baby Jesus than about Santa. Why? Because I want Christ to be real to her. He is so very real to us.
I hope as you celebrate this season He is real to you. I hope you are able to take time to worship Him with your family. And if you are struggling right now and feel sad, lonely, or forgotten, I pray He will give you the grace to look past your circumstances and see how much He loves you. So much so that He gave up a throne to enter a womb, and a world that rejected Him. He is real, and He loves you.
Merry Christmas!
2 comments:
Keri this is so God-centered. I "amen" everything you said. When I became a parent, Christmas took on a whole new meaning; a whole new dimension, really! First, there is NOTHING like seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child. Watching Quan line up our little nativity shepherds, Mary, Joseph, sheep, wise men, etc. and hearing him exclaim "ooo-ooo ain. ooo-ooo ain Mama!" as he pretends the holy family is going on a trip on a train! Second, realizing that God, before we were born, knew these precious babies from China would be in our homes this Christmas. And He made a way for them to be in HIS family too, by sending His Son. And now, Keri, we are sharing that with these children. It's just so huge! I'm crying everyday with you, believe me.
Thank you for sharing the love of our Savior with me tonight! I love you and your precious family!
Laine
P.S. Your reindeer are ADORABLE! :)
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