Eden is A Citizen!

Just wanted to let everyone know that we received Eden's certificate of citizenship today. She is officially a Chinese-American. This is a cute photo of her in the 4th of July outfit I bought her that she couldn't wear because we didn't have her yet. It is fitting for the occasion. She even got a letter from the President!

It's Official - I'm A Mommy!

Okay, so a couple of funny things happened to me this week that I feel officially promote me to full "mommy" status.

First of all, we went to Gene's office at the church yesterday to have lunch with him. I was rushing around that morning trying to get some laundry done, feed Eden breakfast, and get both her and I looking somewhat presentable so I wouldn't embarrass Gene at work. I looked in the mirror before I left and thought, "Hey, I look pretty good. My hair is down AND I'm wearing makeup." Well, I should have looked more closely because when I got to the church one of my friends there came up to me and whispered in my ear that my shirt was on inside out. So I ran into one of the empty offices and turned it right-side out. That was the first clue that I am definitely losing it.

Then, Eden and I were riding down the road and she was talking to me from the backseat like she ALWAYS does. She is either wanting me to hand her something, wanting to point at something, or wanting to hand me something. This is not so safe while driving a minivan. Well, she was trying to hand me something this time so I just stuck my hand back there while still watching the road. She put what I thought to be a crumb in my hand and when I pulled it back and looked at it...it was a buggar. Oh yes, you read right, a buggar from my sweet, precious child's nose. So I did what any good mother does and said, "Thank you sweetie for not eating it." I am indeed officially a mommy, aren't I?

Eden decided she wanted to brush her teeth for the first time this morning with actual toddler's toothpaste so I put a few photos up for you to see. She LOVES her stool that Mrs. Sandra gave her. The funny thing she is doing this week is that she asks for a bow to be put in her hair every time she is near a mirror. Then, she stands up, looks at herself, grins from ear to ear in admiration, and then kisses the mirror. If only we could hold on to that contentment with how God made us! She is so proud of how pretty she looks with a bow in her hair.

What a sweet angel.

We're Doing Great!

Hey everyone! Sorry these posts aren't coming frequently enough for some of you but there isn't as much to "report" these days. Eden is doing so well! We went back for our follow-up visit with the International Adoption Clinic today and found out some great news from a medical standpoint. Eden has most of the vaccines she should have and no parasites were found, which is so great! She had gained 2 pounds which inches her closer to "normal" for her height. She did still have some fluid in her ears even after 10 days of antibiotics and the pediatrician said she feels like Eden will need tubes. We will know more once we have our appointment with the Cleft Clinic at Children's Hospital. We go there on Sept. 6th to get the "down low" on how to proceed with treatment for Eden's mouth issues.

She is learning words and speaking well. The bonding is a slow and steady process. We were encouraged after meeting with the behavioral specialist at the Adoption Clinic today because she assured us that Eden is right where she needs to be and we want her to be bonding wise. The fact that she is "waiting" (as the specialist called it) to give her trust and love to us fully shows us that she had a strong, healthy bond with her caregiver in China. This is a good thing for Eden. We are seeing so much progress in her each day.

She has really opened up to me emotionally. Daddy is still more of a playmate, but Eden absolutely ADORES him and lights up when he comes home each day. The progress I see is her coming to me consistently any time she has a true need. From feeling unsure around new people, to being tired, to being hungry or thirsty, she comes to me every time for these needs to be met. She also is beginning to want to be held by me A LOT. She is allowing me to shower her with affection, and is beginning to offer affection to me. If I ask for a kiss, I almost always get one. Every now and then she initiates affection. The one in the house getting most of Eden's love is our chocolate lab Maggie. Eden sits on her, lays on her, shares toys and food with her, and most of all kisses her probably 25 times each day. Every day Eden's personality emerges a little more.

The latest thing I have learned is that she is somewhat of a girly-girl. Her newest word is "bow" and she points to her hair anytime I put her on the changing table. We put the bow in her hair, then she stands up to admire herself in the mirror as she grins from ear to ear. Then she gets down, pulls the bow out of her hair and runs off to play. She really enjoyed the pink fairy skirt and wand that my mom gave her. She also likes to carry her "purse" around the house loaded with "loot."

We took our first visit to Anniston, where my parents live, this past weekend and Eden did great. We visited my mom's 2nd grade class and they had made a huge banner for Eden and drawn pictures of her on it. Several of mom's students from last year and the 2nd grade teachers showered us with love and gifts. Eden LOVED being with all the children. She even sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with them. Then on Saturday we introduced her to my 2 brothers' families. She enjoyed playing with her cousins, who were so good with her. They were so excited to meet her. Then on Sunday we took her to meet the precious people in my parent's Sunday school class who had so faithfully prayed for us while we were in China. We only stayed for a few minutes but it was so important for me to let them see what their prayers had helped accomplish and to say "thank you." They loved meeting sweet Eden.

We will definitely be laying low this week since we had such a big weekend. Eden did great, though. Several times a day I would just take her away from everyone for a few minutes to snuggle and "re-connect." And we continue to enforce the "no holding" and "no giving her food" rule. We did allow my parents to pick her up for photos or for a quick kiss. She loves her Ja Ja (my mom) and Peepaw (my step-dad). She also loved my mom's 2 dogs and kissed them all weekend. I am still not ready to leave her with anyone, but I hope to begin letting my sister watch her for an hour each Sunday so I can attend one of the church services in another month or so. I miss attending the worship services so much but these precious moments of forming this bond with my daughter will never come again.

Thankfully, I can listen to the sermons online, the the church has come to us as people have cared for and loved on us so much. Thank you all for the continued support and prayers. I love you all. Eden is calling for me to get up from her nap so I have to go. Hope to post again soon!

I Found the Peace and Quiet!

It's 12:42 AM on Saturday night and I'm updating our church's website. While I'm waiting for a 120MB video file to upload I switched over to another computer to read Keri's blog entries--so full have the days been I haven't even had the opportunity to soak in my wife's prayerful and loving thoughts on the whole adoption experience to date. I scrolled through them and nodded in agreement.

Eden is sleeping in the next room. She's just amazing. This afternoon while Keri went shopping Eden and I spent an hour or so after her nap playing in the living room. Sometimes I just stare at her little face and think, "Wow. God made that and I'm responsible for it." I keep wanting to go up to every dad I know and say, "I had no idea! I had no idea!"

More than anything I long to really be "daddy" and not just "guy who makes silly faces" to her... and that will just take lots of time. I'm praying about all her little doctor visits to come, and at the same time thankful that we just happen to be exactly where she'll get the very best medical care for her cleft palette and upper row of teeth that is available anywhere (coincidence? yeah, right. Thank you Lord for planning ahead!).

We took some pictures of her today that we wanted to be sorta "studio quality." The shots themselves are okay but I kept looking at them going, "Not good enough." I mean, I really wanted them to capture the heart of this little girl, you know? Heck, I'm a communications guy--I should be able to do this. I think the problem is that my subject matter moves too fast. I wish she had a slow-mo button.

By the way, the girl can poop. Thankfully Keri is a pro in the poop-handling department and has taken most of that task on daily. On the other hand, I am totally grossed out by the whole thing. I think she poops like 4-5 times a day, and by body weight she's got to be generating like 40% of her weight in poop every 24 hours. At first I was so out of touch with children I could not even tell she had pooped. Now I am acutely in tune with the poop. I can close my eyes right now and sense whether or not poop is present in the house...

I think I am going to pen a letter to the people who make the Diaper Genie and tell them they may have saved our home from permanent poopiness. We got all these boxes of diapers from folks and I thought at the time, "Geez, we're totally over-supplied." Not so. Again, more thank you notes to those who have given diapers. We're going through them at breakneck speed. I want to stock up--let's make sure we have extra boxes. What if we ever ran out? I don't even want to think about what would happen.

I've discovered I also like Eden's toy car keychain because it has cool sound effects. I'm seriously thinking of getting one for myself. I'm concerned that she is having all the fun. Certainly if I can make silly faces at her, I can also walk around with a Fisher Price keychain that makes a "moo" cow sound when I press it. I mean, who doesn't like that?

Oh, thank heavens the upload just finished. I'm headed to bed now--1:00 a.m. I used to stay up this late because it's where the peace and quiet is. I'll be snoring momentarily. You can likely hear me if you live in my area of Meadowbrook--Keri says I'm quite loud. Thank you for your continued prayers for Eden and our family. I'm so grateful for our friends and family and the many expressions of support for Eden and the adoption process we've received as we continue to navigate this new and interesting road of parenthood.

Give Us This Day...

Okay, here's what we're learning at the Mason home...how to take life one day at a time. Most of us are familiar with that line in the Lord's Prayer that says, "Give us this day our daily bread." Well, we are living that prayer with our precious new daughter. Every day is a little different and better than the day before. Each day, I'm so focused on TODAY. Each small step with her is such a joy. Take for instance right now as I'm typing this, she is in the hall playing peek-a-boo around the door with me, grinning from ear to ear.

These small things are such a gift! The smiles and giggles, hugs and kisses (I am getting some kisses now), the sound of her voice in the baby monitor calling "Mama" when she wakes up, the way she loves to squeal, watching her dance (it is so FUNNY), tickling her, and the way she snuggles up against me when I rock her at night. She is such a precious little girl. We chose her name, Eden, because it means "delight" in the Hebrew language. I chose the name before I knew her - and it fits her. She is such a delight. Her grieving has gotten a lot better. She hasn't tantrumed all week and she is no longer preferring Gene over me or pushing me away. She wants us both. We had our first appointment at the International Adoption Clinic this past Monday and they encouraged us to go ahead and start showing her the pictures we took with her foster mom in China.

This may bring about more grieving, but it will be healthy for her. They encouraged us to make a book that begins with the photo of her with her foster family, then the photo of us with her foster mom and Eden, then a picture of an airplane, and then pictures of her with us at home here. This will help her to see how all of this fits together as part of her life's story. They also said not to let her have free access to the book but to give it to her when she asks for it and always look at it with her. I am so glad we have the resource of the Adoption Clinic because Gene and I had put these photos away thinking it would be best not to let her see them until she was securely bonded to us. But it makes sense to let her see them in the context of her new family.

I'm so glad we were able to meet her foster mom and get those photos!! We were hit with some surprising news at our clinic visit from a medical standpoint. Eden's palate is open, but it appears to be a very small opening right behind her front teeth. We will visit the Cleft Clinic soon to find out about surgery to close it. Eden also has a significant cleft on both sides of her top jaw (I don't know the clinical name for it) that will have to be surgically repaired, but the doctor at the clinic said she thought the Cleft Clinic would wait to do that after all of her permanent teeth come in. I will have more info after we visit the Cleft Clinic and will post what I find out.

Eden also had fluid behind one of her eardrums that appeared to have been there for a long time. She is on an antibiotic to clear it up and we're going for a hearing test in early September. I learned that when babies suck it clears the fluid that collects in their ears. Since cleft palate babies can't suck they tend to have fluid in their ears so you really have to keep a watch on them due to the risk of hearing loss and/or language developmental delays. We also have an appointment to get her vision checked but that's just routine for adopted kids. She had 4 vials of blood drawn from her arm and it was so traumatic - for her and for me. And, I will spend the week digging through her dirty diapers collecting 9 stool samples to be tested for parasites - yuck!

Boy, do I love this girl or what? This is something they also do with all internationally adopted children because of unclean water. We also got GREAT news at our clinic visit from a developmental standpoint. Eden is right on target for her age range and the OT was blown away by how curious she was and how she is repeating words. She told us to start having her learn to drink from a small cup to develop the muscles in her mouth since she can't suck and to start working on stacking blocks for fine motor skill development. We didn't get to see the behavioral specialist but we will see her at our next appointment in 2 weeks. We are just so thrilled with Eden's progress in how she is transitioning and bonding. She is growing more loving towards me every day and still adores her Ba Ba (daddy). She is on a great schedule and is sleeping through the night (about 10 hours a night) and taking a 1 1/2 - 2 hour nap each afternoon. I even cleaned the house this week. You would have thought I cured cancer by how proud I was of myself. I cleaned the house and took a shower with her here by myself..woo hoo!!!

She loves our dogs and loves bath time now. We have a baby pool in the backyard that she enjoys playing in and we take walks early in the morning in the jogging stroller and she loves to cat nap during those. We're settling in really well. It hasn't been easy at all, but I can honestly say it is becoming so fun. I love being Eden's mommy and Gene's wife. I was a little overwhelmed after our clinic visit on Monday but I am so glad that she is here with us and can receive the medical care she needs. We had no idea her mouth was in as bad of shape as it is but who cares? Not us! She is beautiful and perfect in our eyes and we will sacrifice whatever we have to in order to meet her needs.

Hope this brings everyone up to date. I am posting some photos from the past week. Hope you enjoy them!

Yes, Mommy Is Alive!

It's been a while since I posted so I wanted to take an opportunity to write while Eden is napping. First of all, thank you to everyone for your prayers and support for our family. I cannot begin to express how tangibly I have felt your prayers on the other side of the world, and here at home. God truly is BIG!!! There have already been countless times that I wanted to just throw my hands up and walk away, or sit down and throw a tantrum with Eden, but God has sustained me through your love and prayers every time. I don't even know where to start...what an amazing journey. Now that we're home with her, a new journey is beginning. I've never been a mom (to a human being) before. What an awesome responsibility.

Many times I have said, "Lord, what were you thinking?" Eden needs so much from me right now that doesn't "feel natural." She needs me to be near her when she is grieving and tantruming so that she can push me away. She reaches out, and when I reach for her she pushes me away. But she needs to know I'm there if she decides she wants me. The smallest things set her off. The other day she tripped and fell and hit her head and when I scooped her up she immediately began grieving and pulling away from me. The natural "mommy" tasks like changing diapers, feeding, rocking, comforting, and just loving and cuddling are so hard for her to accept from me right now. I have waited so long to shower her with my love and she just won't let me a lot of the time. But boy, when she does, what joy fills my heart! I knew going into this that she would not love me back for quite a while, but I had no idea how hard she would try to get me NOT to love her.

The more I love her, the harder it is for her to resist loving me. So me being loving to her, especially when she is trying to push me away, angers and frustrates her. I have wept with her as she struggles against me. Her tantrums are great times for me to release my tears as well. Can you picture it? Mommy and Eden bawling our eyes out on the kitchen floor. This is much of our relationship right now. But...for the past few days Eden has begun to notice my tears. She looks at me in a new way, as if to say, "Do you understand that I am sad? Is that why you are crying, too?" My prayer is that God will help her to understand that she is not alone in her grief. I will never understand the depths of her confusion and pain, but I do care...I care so very much. Adopting a toddler is hard...but it is wonderful. For all of you following the blog who are waiting to travel and/or adopt an older child, I want to gently speak to you on behalf of your child.

Please do not let people tell you that your love for your child will be enough for the transition that lies ahead. Let your love drive you to fall on your knees and beg God for wisdom and insight into what your child will need. Don't just pray for the paperwork to go through faster (let's face it, that's what we're thinking about 99% of the time), ask Him to prepare your heart for the unique needs of the child He is entrusting to you. He will faithfully do so. Blogs, websites, etc. are great resources, but there is only One who knows your future child inside and out. Let Him be the first place you go for answers. And let Him lead you to other resources. I only read one book before we adopted. A friend recommended it to me. It is called "Toddler Adoption" by Mary Hopkins-Best and it is an incredible resource for those of you adopting a child between the ages of 1 and 4.

I know many of you have been so encouraged reading our blog because you are in the season of waiting. I am so thankful that God has used our story to encourage you. Please let me further encourage you to use these days wisely, as God has given them to you for a reason. I KNOW the waiting is hard, and seemingly senseless...but I can honestly say on this end that God used the months and months of waiting to strengthen my faith and dependence on Him. And I honestly could not endure the times of rejection from Eden right now and love her through them if He had not worked in my heart as I waited. Cooperate with His work in your lives during this time...your cooperation will reap a harvest in your precious child's life. Please don't let my honesty scare you! The joy SO outweighs the trials and difficulties! I look at Eden everyday and think, "Two weeks ago you belonged to no one on this earth, and now you have a family." Daily I am humbled and reminded of God's great love for me, my daughter, and for all mankind.

My prayer for Eden is that God will use what she is going through now to soften her heart and strong will to His presence and His voice so that one day, she will be adopted again...into His forever family. As Gene and I walk through these days, we are keenly aware of the responsibility and privilege God has given us to give Eden a picture of His love for her. No matter how hard she pushes, how loud she screams, how mean she is, we will never leave her or forsake her. She is ours, we have sacrificed for her and chosen her and bought her with a price not because she has done anything to earn it, but because we love her, unconditionally. She is the apple of our eye and valuable beyond compare to us, no matter what. She is our child. Our prayer is that we are painting a picture for her of the unfailing love that Christ has for her. I am posting a few funny photos I have taken over the past few days. Eden is a mess, so funny and silly.

What joy she has brought into our lives. I need to go get some things done before she wakes up. No one told me how much I would look forward to Eden's naptime!! Love you all!

One Day at a Time

Thanks to everyone who continues to contact us through our adoption blog. Now that we're home and thoroughly jetlagged, we will probably update this every few days or so--maybe twice a week in total--as there is less news to share.

I want to ask you to be in prayer for Eden's bonding with mommy and daddy. We're in the days now where the rubber meets the road, and frankly, this is much more difficult than we imagined. I think Keri was wise in preparing for the worst in terms of grief, loss, language barriers and other factors, but you always think in the back of your mind, "Oh, that won't be us."

Well, Eden is a wonderful little girl and we love her dearly. She is sweet, kind, funny, focused and observant. She's so smart, and genuinely joyful at times. But two days ago she entered a new home in a new time zone (13 hours' difference), with a new diet, a new minivan (she'd never been in a car seat before yesterday!), and just two familiar faces in me and mommy. We're struggling to help her adjust to the time difference, and carefully balance the beginnings of behavior/tantrum control (don't throw your fork, sweetheart!) with an understanding that some of this is the only way she can express her frustration, grieve and begin to move on.

There is no book for this, no magic hotline to call, and though we have the best training and advice, I feel like an airline pilot landing a plane full of people for the first time--even with all the qualifications, it still makes you sweat.

Eden has good days and bad ones. We've seen some mighty tantrums in the last few days since getting home--probably among her worst. She'll lay on her back and just scream her little lungs out until she's near exhaustion. We'll hold out our hands to comfort her, but she'll push away until a certain point--sometimes 30-45 minutes--when she tires and begins to accept our love and affection again. What a picture of how God must feel with us at times--holding out His hands waiting on us while we scream about our wants and push Him away until we just give up... I never dreamed so many pictures of salvation would unfold in this whole experience.

I've posted just two pictures here--the very first one we took with Eden, and one that our friend Donna Houston snapped at the airport on our return home. They book-end an amazing experience, but they also are parentheses around Eden's beginning with us. As the days slip by and smells, tastes and sights of China fade for us and for her, I pray what is built up in its place is a strong bond of family in Christ between us.

May we kindly ask you to join us on our knees that the Holy Spirit will knit us together as family in the coming days?

Home

Finally we're home. We started the journey back at 9:00 a.m. Tuesday, Birmingham time, and arrived about 24 hours later at 10:30 a.m. Wednesday. Eden did fantastic on the flights back. She got a little crazy on the four-hour leg from LA to Chicago, but otherwise was just fine. What an answer to prayer!

The welcome at the airport was extraordinary. Keri and I were really speechless. So many of our family and friends were there to greet us and we just didn't know what to say. Thank you so much to everyone who made our welcome back to Birmingham something we will remember for a lifetime. It meant so much that you cared enough to come out and give us a hug and a greeting. If you've never traveled such a great distance or been away from home for several weeks, you've no idea what a blessing that is.

Home--we were so excited to drive up to the house. Kelly Herndon (Keri's sister) and decorated it with balloons and flowers and a feather wreath on the door and it was so touching. There was food waiting and we visited a bit with family. Over the last day I was really reminded of all those letters Paul wrote where he said, "Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..." I imagine believers in the early church received a welcome from one another when traveling much as we did--brothers and sisters reminding one another of the close bond in Christ they shared. Thank you, thank you, thank you again for being our friends and family!

Wednesday afternoon was a mix of sleep and play for Eden and mom and dad. We resorted to the Benedryl last night about about 2:00 a.m. to get Eden through the evening--in total she slept about 14 hours since we got home, but we think she's just about on Birmingham time.

This morning we got up early and Eden wasted no time in re-organizing her room a bit and trying out some of her toys. Our dog, Maggie, just sat close by and soaked it all in. Eden and Maggie are not quite fast friends yet, but Eden isn't scared of her and we can see that bond developing quickly. Behavioral experts have told us that pets can really help with bonding and the feeling of home for Eden.

One great thing about home that is immediately evident is the quiet. I mean, I don't think we actually experienced a truly quiet moment the entire time we were in China. Every meal, every activity, was a buzz of people, sights and sounds. To have Eden between mommy and daddy for breakfast today was great. She ate well and you could tell her concentration on what was in front of her was greatly improved.

We're going to have to break her of the whining, we think, and so we got some cries today when the word "no" was gently but firmly introduced into her vocabulary. Much of the behavioral teaching we knew would have to wait until we got home--adoption travel we were told would have us in "survival mode" while we were away from home and that was the truth. No more cookies on demand, little one. Sorry.

We have a few days of rest ahead and daddy has a little more childproofing to finish in the house. Also, the car seat has proved to be more complicated than originally anticipated. We put a man on the moon--c'mon people, can we not develop a reasonably simple car seat?

There's a Psalm we put on the wall of Eden's room that reads, "I will be exalted among the nations..." If this year has taught me anything, between our mission trip in March and the trip to China just completed, it is that all believers must be a part of this global mission. I'm not saying everyone must feed the poor in Venezuela or adopt from China, but we must all be "among the nations" if we are going to align ourselves with the command God has given us.

It has been 2,000 years since Christ commanded us to "make disciples of all nations." Yet only in the last 65 years has travel to just about any nation been inexpensive and easy. And only in the last 10 years has communication via the internet made linking up from China to Venezuela to Birmingham child's play. So to look at the possibilities before us, and know that God has placed us here at this time and place for His purpose, and given us the extraordinary tools before us to be involved in making disciples of the nations, how can we not participate? Moreso, how can we not see the great responsibility before us to steward these resources to make a difference for Christ in our lifetimes.

Eden has gone from no family to now having a mommy, a daddy, a home with a yard and toys and pets and peace and quiet, an education, medical care--all from the moment she left an orphanage worker's arms and entered ours. Is it reasonable for us to expect great things from her as our child? I think most parents would look at their own children and how they are providing for them and say, yes, we want a great life for them and we expect great things from them. What a picture of what our Father in Heaven expects from us, His adoptive children.

Our chief task with Eden from this moment is to be a picture of Christ to her in our relationship with one another and those around us. I pray we will be parents that will not only lead her toward Christ, but challenge her to be a disciple-maker among the nations in her own life as well.