Finally an Update!!!

Okay Cheryl, here's the update I promised. Sorry to everyone for the delay. I have lots to catch up on but here's a start:

Eden started school! She goes to Mother's Day Out 2 days a week and was apprehensive at first but is starting to love it. On Monday when they came to get her out of the van in the carpool line she confidently announced to the lady, "Mommy always always always comes back!" as she hopped out of the car and walked in like a big girl. How far we've come!!! She is in the Groovy 2's class with her great friend Mia, who is also in her class at church and gymnastics. Thank you Lord for knowing how much a familiar face would help her feel secure! Boy,0 does God watch out for our little ones or what? She has her own school bag and a Dora lunch box. Mommy LOVES school (8 hours a week alone makes a huge difference)...and I'm even the room mom! Here are some pics of her leaving her first day.

Such a big girl!

She loves Dora!

The rest of these pictures below are just some that capture her sassy, silly and precocious personality. She is a mess, a handful, and an angel. I am amazed daily by the words she is learning. Gene was tickling her the other day and she busted out with, "You're driving me crazy!" He laughed for 5 minutes. I have a feeling her 3's are going to be much more challenging than the 2's have been. She is becoming so opinionated and bossy (much like her mommy, I think). Sometimes it is so funny, but other times so disrespectful. Lord help me as I try to shepherd her heart towards You...so challenging!

Right now my focus is authority. God is daddy and mommy's boss, and we are her boss. We are beginning to teach her Scripture and she knows 4 verses. Her memory astounds me. Now we have to work on making sure she knows what they mean, and how to apply them to daily life, right? Knowledge without obedience is useless.

Sleep continues to be our most difficult challenge with her. We switched her to a "big girl" bed (toddler bed) and now she crawls out of it every night and comes to our room. This is better than her screaming in her crib 3-4 times a night. We have put a cot at the foot of our bed and are trying to train her to crawl in it without waking us up so she can be near us if she needs to be without being IN our bed. She won't let anyone but mommy put her down for bed. She still has so much anxiety with separation at night. Maybe she will always struggle with this. I'm trying to redefine "normal" and adjust my expectations while still gently pushing her towards more confidence and independence in this area. She is now going down to sleep in her bed which is a huge step. She just doesn't stay there. You'll never guess how we got her to do it...she asked if our Lab, Maggie, could sleep in her room. Sweet Maggie!!! She's 9 and just goes with the flow. It comforts Eden to have her in the room.

Here are some recent pictures I thought you'd enjoy. I'll post more soon!

Love yall!

This is how Eden wears her tiara...she is learning she is God's little princess...just like GiGi (a children's book series we love)

We were finally able to buy Eden her long-awaited tricycle because she now is fully potty trained and pooping in the potty like a big girl!

Eden's new big-girl bed.

Playing dress up with sweet Maggie. Poor dog!

I LOVE her in dress up clothes!!! Check out the jewel necklace!

Silly bath time.

More silly bath time.

One Day at a Time

Thanks to everyone who continues to contact us through our adoption blog. Now that we're home and thoroughly jetlagged, we will probably update this every few days or so--maybe twice a week in total--as there is less news to share.

I want to ask you to be in prayer for Eden's bonding with mommy and daddy. We're in the days now where the rubber meets the road, and frankly, this is much more difficult than we imagined. I think Keri was wise in preparing for the worst in terms of grief, loss, language barriers and other factors, but you always think in the back of your mind, "Oh, that won't be us."

Well, Eden is a wonderful little girl and we love her dearly. She is sweet, kind, funny, focused and observant. She's so smart, and genuinely joyful at times. But two days ago she entered a new home in a new time zone (13 hours' difference), with a new diet, a new minivan (she'd never been in a car seat before yesterday!), and just two familiar faces in me and mommy. We're struggling to help her adjust to the time difference, and carefully balance the beginnings of behavior/tantrum control (don't throw your fork, sweetheart!) with an understanding that some of this is the only way she can express her frustration, grieve and begin to move on.

There is no book for this, no magic hotline to call, and though we have the best training and advice, I feel like an airline pilot landing a plane full of people for the first time--even with all the qualifications, it still makes you sweat.

Eden has good days and bad ones. We've seen some mighty tantrums in the last few days since getting home--probably among her worst. She'll lay on her back and just scream her little lungs out until she's near exhaustion. We'll hold out our hands to comfort her, but she'll push away until a certain point--sometimes 30-45 minutes--when she tires and begins to accept our love and affection again. What a picture of how God must feel with us at times--holding out His hands waiting on us while we scream about our wants and push Him away until we just give up... I never dreamed so many pictures of salvation would unfold in this whole experience.

I've posted just two pictures here--the very first one we took with Eden, and one that our friend Donna Houston snapped at the airport on our return home. They book-end an amazing experience, but they also are parentheses around Eden's beginning with us. As the days slip by and smells, tastes and sights of China fade for us and for her, I pray what is built up in its place is a strong bond of family in Christ between us.

May we kindly ask you to join us on our knees that the Holy Spirit will knit us together as family in the coming days?

Ready to Be Home

China has been outstanding, unbelievable, enjoyable, eye-opening, glorious, fantastic--adjectives, adjectives... there are just not words enough to describe this experience. To leave the USA as husband and wife and now to be a family of three and have this adorable, wonderful, precious little girl to call our own. Well, I'm glad we took pictures and video because my head is just too full right now to comprehend it all.

But people, we are so ready to be home. I think it really hit today that although this has been the experience of a lifetime, we have at this point absolutely no desire to stay in this hotel room one more minute. If it was just me and Keri I think we could get our second wind and dive into the local culture here in Guangzhou. But since last Monday little Eden has been our focus and it's just taken the wind out of our world-adventurer sails.

I want to be in a place where all my possessions are not in a backpack or suitcase. I want to not worry about my toothbrush getting squished against my razor and having little face hairs in it that I have to clean off before I brush my teeth. I want to actually use the faucet water in the bathroom instead of doing everything out of a bottle because the tap water smells so bad. I want my bed--the soft one with 3 pillows just for me. I want to eat by going to my own refrigerator versus deciding which Chinese restaurant we want to venture out to.

Most of all, I think Keri and I both want some quiet. Eden needs it too--just some simple routine in the day to keep all the distractions out. This whole city is just eye-candy all the time. I think after our Consulate appointment tomorrow we're gonna just walk from there straight to the airport. We just keep thinking, "If we can just get to the plane." If Eden throws a tantrum for 15 straight hours on the flight home it doesn't matter, we'll just keep saying "only 15 hours left, only 14 hours left!..." Can you tell we're ready to be HOME!?

Eden needs a schedule. Seriously. Today she was just a maniac. I was beginning to wonder if she was bi-polar. She just went and went and went all day. There was no stopping her. She had a morning nap, but our schedule this afternoon meant she skipped her afternoon rest time. Then we had a dinner cruise to go to this evening that our facilitators arranged and that ended at a little before 9:00 p.m. Late, late, late by Eden time. She got so far beyond tired that she just stayed wired until we got back to the hotel room. She just jumped up and down and wiggled and giggled and went INSANE for about 5 straight hours. She needs some quiet and some routine.

This is likely our last post until we arrive at home, so here's the answers to the questions folks have asked us by email. What we need at home are clothes for 12-18 months--Eden is much smaller than we were told and so most of the clothes we have are too large. The medical paperwork they gave us was incorrect and so we have to adjust. Diapers for a 21 pounder are also much appreciated. And any kind of food is great too. Honestly we're so frazzled from the travel and baby at this point I hope we can remember where our house is when we get there.

Keri and I and Eden will be arriving in Birmingham on Wednesday, August 1, at 10:26 AM on United Flight 7820 from Chicago. Keri and I plan to put Eden into seclusion for a while after we get back on the recommendation of our adoption agency and behavioral specialists so she can get settled in to a more normal life and get to know us a little better. So she will not be out in public for a while. If you wanna say "Hi" to Eden we hope you'll meet us at the airport, as that's likely the only time Eden will be "out" for at least a few weeks.

If our travel plans change drastically I will attempt to update them from the airport in LA or Chicago, but basically we're in the air for 21 hours plus a few layovers. In fact, let me apologize in advance for our appearance at the airport as Tuesday will be a 37-hour day for us. I may be a little sticky and stinky. Keri will look great, though--she always does. I just have this issue with ear hair--but I digress...

Thanks so much to everyone for all the emails while we've been away. They've been a great blessing and it's been a pleasure and honor to share this experience with you. One more night in the hotel... we can make it!

Moments and Miracles

Eden really came out of her shell today. Man, we have a full-on toddler on our hands. Today was a real turning point for her personality-wise and she opened up big time. We had lots of smiles, giggles, grins, tickles and frolicking around. I think it was by far our happiest day and filled with many fun and memorable moments. But let me tell you about one absolutely miraculous one...

This morning we were preparing to leave Wuhan for Guangzhou. We left the room and headed to the elevator and as we got on the elevator there was a Chinese woman getting off on our floor. Keri did a double-take as the doors closed and we went down to the lobby for breakfast. Could that possibly be?...

By the time we hit the lobby we knew something was probably up. Keri, Eden and her mom went on to the restaurant while I went back up to grab Eden's pictures from our room (all the families put their kids' pictures on the door of the room since we were all staying on the same floor). By the time I got back to the lobby, I spotted the Chinese lady we passed just outside the lobby talking on her cell phone. She walked around the side of the building and spotted me out of the corner of her eye, then walked quickly away from me.

Now, understand that in the city we were in, we knew going in we were not going to meet Eden's foster mom. But Keri had been praying that by some miracle we might meet her. By the time we got to China Keri had stopped praying about this, but she had asked others to pray for this as well.

We met up again in the restaurant, which has a long glass wall on one side. I brought out the picture of Eden we had, which has a woman's arm in the photo wearing a white blouse with flowers on it. The very same while blouse that this Chinese woman standing outside the hotel was wearing. It hit all of us in an instant--this was Eden's foster mom and she had come to see us.

Keri ran outside and approached her with Eden's picture. She was a little scared, I think, that we would not want to see her. We did not know each others' language but pictures and smiles were exchanged and she eased a bit understanding that we were honored she cared enough to find us and come by to see if Eden was okay. She had come not wanting us to discover her and just peer in from a distance. I pointed at the dress in the photo and her dress--she smiled, "Ah!"... so that's how they recognized me. At this point, Keri and the foster mom (we never actually got her name) were in tears. Keri hugged her and said, "Waa-Eye-Nee, Shee Shee" which means "I love you. Thank you."

Without really thinking, she asked me to run in and get Eden, who was just settling down to breakfast with Keri's mom. We embraced, let her hold Eden for a minute and took a picture with her. She pulled out her cell phone and excitedly called her husband to tell her she had met us. She held the phone up to Eden's ear to talk, but Eden was a little dumbstruck by the experience. Then she pointed to us and told Eden in Chinese, "This is mommy, and this is daddy."

Next she pulled out a picture of her family for us to keep. It was really a "God moment." We could not believe it. Something we had prayed for happening right before our eyes. She walked off and Eden got a little upset. She turned to come back and comfort Eden, but this time mommy instinct told Keri not to let Eden go. Instead she took Eden up to the room for a little bit to cry it out (actually it did not last very long at all, she was back down in 10 minutes). I gave her my email address, she smiled again, nodded thank you, and was gone.

For a little while after that we were just beside ourselves. We second-guessed a little bit as well. Should we have let her see Eden and Eden see her? No, it was the right thing to do, and it gave Eden some closure (I know that doesn't make sense for an 18 month old, but really, Eden at that age can comprehend the difference between someone disappearing/dying and someone letting go, even if she can't express it in words yet). Yes, we decided, even if we had to start over with Eden today, it was worth it. And what a blessing to know this woman cared enough to seek us out. You could tell she just had a wonderful love for Eden and really missed her. Words can't express our gratitude to this wonderful foster mom and to know years from now we can tell Eden we had the opportunity to meet her and thank her... God is just too good!

I'm not going to post that particular picture on the blog to protect her identity, but that's a treasured shot we will keep away until the day when Eden starts asking questions and we can pull it out and honor her foster mom's legacy by telling Eden about her.

As for the rest of the day... Well, like I said, Eden just blossomed today. We really believe that seeing her foster mom had something to do with it--seriously, it was like a light switch was flipped after that. Now, she's still grieving, and later in the morning we had a good tantrum and grief spirt, but she was markedly healthier today emotionally than any other day since we met her. I kept looking at Keri saying, "Is this the same sad little girl we adopted a few days ago?" She had us cracking up wearing sunglasses, talking on her Winnie-the-Poo cell phone, and toting her backpack of toys around the hotel halls.

Before lunch we received her passport and our adoption certificate. It's official--she's ours! Then after lunch it was off to the airport. Oh, we did stop by this little banzai tree museum first because we had some extra time. Same story there... sweltering, oppressive heat, ancient Chinese history. We got some fun pictures though, and the 30-minute tour ended, appropriately, in front of an air-conditioner cooling off until the bus arrived.

By the way, about the airports.... Every city in China either has a giant, ultra-modern, beautiful airport or is building one. Guangzhou has one, Beijing has one, Wuhan is building one. I've never seen such nice airports. They are all HUGE and made of glass and just go on and on and on. The nicest airports I've ever been in have all been in China. Folks, we got to do something about our airports in the USA--I mean these folks are just so far ahead of us in the concourse/gate area/moving sidewalk department. It's sad, really, for us. Oh, did I mention they were crowded?

We arrived tonight in Guangzhou, and will be here through Tuesday. We have a medical exam for Eden, then some paperwork for the American Consulate, then our appointment and "swearing in" on Tuesday morning to finalize Eden's citizenship for the USA. We are staying at the White Swan Hotel, which is kinda famous for China's adopting families and apparently well known in general. It is ultra-nice. There are pictures of Richard Nixon and George Bush (Sr.) staying here in the guest book. The mattresses however are still rocks with sheets on them... oh well.

Eden just dozed off. She's had a very active day--in fact, she just plum wore us out. I'm contemplating some kind of crash-fitness program to get me into shape. Even watching her today was tiring. I kept wanted to open her up and see what kind of nuclear reactor was generating all that energy. Many China adopting families say this last leg of the trip is a turning point, and that was certainly true for us today. We're looking forward to leaving on Tuesday (which, by quirk of time-zones, will be a 37-hour day for us as we circumnavigate the globe for 20 hours) and arriving in Birmingham on Wednesday morning.

Tomorrow we're gonna catch David Platt's message from last Sunday on the iPod. He's in the middle of a teaching series on prayer, and what a great sense of joy to be in the middle of many answered ones today.

She Is Indeed a Toddler!

Another interesting day in Wuhan as we await our paperwork from the Notary Office (that's why we're staying the week here--it takes a few days to process all the adoption papers). Again today Eden was a little sad, but she seemed to find her figity-ness. She is indeed a toddler and contorted herself into all kinds of pretzel shapes in our arms as we carried her about today.

This morning our guide had a tour lined up of the city starting at 9:00 a.m. First of all, Wuhan in the summer is hot. I mean really, really hot, even by Birmingham standards. It's an oven inside a sauna sitting in the desert, wrapped in red peppers and covered with Tabasco. It wasn't quite misery walking around with the baby and the other families, but it was close. I think I lost five pounds due to sweat, which is good cause I need to drop a good 20 anyhow.

First we saw the Provincial Museum, where the contents of a 2,400 year old Chinese Nobleman's tomb were on display. Think of Egyptian tombs where everything is buried with the Pharoah--same thing. This guy had a 5-ton set of musical bells buried with him. They were cast in bronze and the whole assembly stood about 10 feet high. Knowing Jim Watkins' weariness at church handbells, I actually thought these might be cool enough to play in church on Sunday, so I took a few pictures.

There was a handbell concert that we went to and it was pretty cool. The music was cool, that is--the room itself was a blast furnace. Oh, did I mention it was crowded? They ended the show with Beethoven's Ode to Joy, which was fun to hear on an instrument created 400 years before Christ walked the earth.

Then it was on to "Yellow Crane Tower." I can't tell you the story of why it was built, because by this point in the day, I was "Minged-out" (our inside phrase for too much Chinese history at once). Apparently, though, every major monument requires an insanely large number of stairs to climb before you reach it. From the top of the tower we could see the whole city (that is, what we could make out in the haze of smog). There were some nice gardens nearby and Eden let me hold her for a while. I even got a few kisses in on her cheeks while she had her guard down.

We've really enjoyed seeing all the people, culture and getting a sense of the life here in China, but since Monday we've been more and more captured in our attention with little Eden. So we're really looking forward at this point to moving on tomorrow to Guangzhou. Tomorrow we'll get Eden's adoption certificate and a receipt (yes, when you adopt a child in China, they give you a receipt--"Paper or plastic? Would you like fries with your daughter?")

Speaking of Eden, here are some funny things about her. First, she likes to hold several things in both hands at one time. She picks up her bottle, her ball, her doll, and then wanders around frustrated as to why she can't hold a fourth item. She has found out exactly where we hide the cookies (she says, "beh beh" for cookie) and can not only point to where they are in the closet, but will walk over and show us what she wants just in case we don't understand. When something falls on the floor while she's eating, she has to stop and point to it until someone picks it up or "deals with it" in some manner. She LOVES watermelon--it captures her total focus as soon as someone places it on the table. She has learned to say "Maggie" (our dog), "Nana" (grandmom) and "Kay Kay" (Aunt Kelly) from their pictures in her little picture book. I've gotten just a few "Popa's" out of her, but she's just now starting to open up a little.

We've been blessed to meet some other great families and hang out with them here in Wuhan. We'll be meeting up with a few more families in Guangzhou. Tomorrow's plane ride should be interesting. Tonight we still have dinner (noodles we think) and bath time (earplugs, anyone?). She hasn't done any real grieving today but we're expecting some tears later as well--all the day's activities take her mind off of her foster mom during the day. When it's quiet at night she begins to process a little more and the tears usually come.

Thanks again for all your notes and emails. We miss everyone over there halfway around the world. Looking forward to arriving home next Wednesday.