One Day at a Time

Thanks to everyone who continues to contact us through our adoption blog. Now that we're home and thoroughly jetlagged, we will probably update this every few days or so--maybe twice a week in total--as there is less news to share.

I want to ask you to be in prayer for Eden's bonding with mommy and daddy. We're in the days now where the rubber meets the road, and frankly, this is much more difficult than we imagined. I think Keri was wise in preparing for the worst in terms of grief, loss, language barriers and other factors, but you always think in the back of your mind, "Oh, that won't be us."

Well, Eden is a wonderful little girl and we love her dearly. She is sweet, kind, funny, focused and observant. She's so smart, and genuinely joyful at times. But two days ago she entered a new home in a new time zone (13 hours' difference), with a new diet, a new minivan (she'd never been in a car seat before yesterday!), and just two familiar faces in me and mommy. We're struggling to help her adjust to the time difference, and carefully balance the beginnings of behavior/tantrum control (don't throw your fork, sweetheart!) with an understanding that some of this is the only way she can express her frustration, grieve and begin to move on.

There is no book for this, no magic hotline to call, and though we have the best training and advice, I feel like an airline pilot landing a plane full of people for the first time--even with all the qualifications, it still makes you sweat.

Eden has good days and bad ones. We've seen some mighty tantrums in the last few days since getting home--probably among her worst. She'll lay on her back and just scream her little lungs out until she's near exhaustion. We'll hold out our hands to comfort her, but she'll push away until a certain point--sometimes 30-45 minutes--when she tires and begins to accept our love and affection again. What a picture of how God must feel with us at times--holding out His hands waiting on us while we scream about our wants and push Him away until we just give up... I never dreamed so many pictures of salvation would unfold in this whole experience.

I've posted just two pictures here--the very first one we took with Eden, and one that our friend Donna Houston snapped at the airport on our return home. They book-end an amazing experience, but they also are parentheses around Eden's beginning with us. As the days slip by and smells, tastes and sights of China fade for us and for her, I pray what is built up in its place is a strong bond of family in Christ between us.

May we kindly ask you to join us on our knees that the Holy Spirit will knit us together as family in the coming days?

Home

Finally we're home. We started the journey back at 9:00 a.m. Tuesday, Birmingham time, and arrived about 24 hours later at 10:30 a.m. Wednesday. Eden did fantastic on the flights back. She got a little crazy on the four-hour leg from LA to Chicago, but otherwise was just fine. What an answer to prayer!

The welcome at the airport was extraordinary. Keri and I were really speechless. So many of our family and friends were there to greet us and we just didn't know what to say. Thank you so much to everyone who made our welcome back to Birmingham something we will remember for a lifetime. It meant so much that you cared enough to come out and give us a hug and a greeting. If you've never traveled such a great distance or been away from home for several weeks, you've no idea what a blessing that is.

Home--we were so excited to drive up to the house. Kelly Herndon (Keri's sister) and decorated it with balloons and flowers and a feather wreath on the door and it was so touching. There was food waiting and we visited a bit with family. Over the last day I was really reminded of all those letters Paul wrote where he said, "Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..." I imagine believers in the early church received a welcome from one another when traveling much as we did--brothers and sisters reminding one another of the close bond in Christ they shared. Thank you, thank you, thank you again for being our friends and family!

Wednesday afternoon was a mix of sleep and play for Eden and mom and dad. We resorted to the Benedryl last night about about 2:00 a.m. to get Eden through the evening--in total she slept about 14 hours since we got home, but we think she's just about on Birmingham time.

This morning we got up early and Eden wasted no time in re-organizing her room a bit and trying out some of her toys. Our dog, Maggie, just sat close by and soaked it all in. Eden and Maggie are not quite fast friends yet, but Eden isn't scared of her and we can see that bond developing quickly. Behavioral experts have told us that pets can really help with bonding and the feeling of home for Eden.

One great thing about home that is immediately evident is the quiet. I mean, I don't think we actually experienced a truly quiet moment the entire time we were in China. Every meal, every activity, was a buzz of people, sights and sounds. To have Eden between mommy and daddy for breakfast today was great. She ate well and you could tell her concentration on what was in front of her was greatly improved.

We're going to have to break her of the whining, we think, and so we got some cries today when the word "no" was gently but firmly introduced into her vocabulary. Much of the behavioral teaching we knew would have to wait until we got home--adoption travel we were told would have us in "survival mode" while we were away from home and that was the truth. No more cookies on demand, little one. Sorry.

We have a few days of rest ahead and daddy has a little more childproofing to finish in the house. Also, the car seat has proved to be more complicated than originally anticipated. We put a man on the moon--c'mon people, can we not develop a reasonably simple car seat?

There's a Psalm we put on the wall of Eden's room that reads, "I will be exalted among the nations..." If this year has taught me anything, between our mission trip in March and the trip to China just completed, it is that all believers must be a part of this global mission. I'm not saying everyone must feed the poor in Venezuela or adopt from China, but we must all be "among the nations" if we are going to align ourselves with the command God has given us.

It has been 2,000 years since Christ commanded us to "make disciples of all nations." Yet only in the last 65 years has travel to just about any nation been inexpensive and easy. And only in the last 10 years has communication via the internet made linking up from China to Venezuela to Birmingham child's play. So to look at the possibilities before us, and know that God has placed us here at this time and place for His purpose, and given us the extraordinary tools before us to be involved in making disciples of the nations, how can we not participate? Moreso, how can we not see the great responsibility before us to steward these resources to make a difference for Christ in our lifetimes.

Eden has gone from no family to now having a mommy, a daddy, a home with a yard and toys and pets and peace and quiet, an education, medical care--all from the moment she left an orphanage worker's arms and entered ours. Is it reasonable for us to expect great things from her as our child? I think most parents would look at their own children and how they are providing for them and say, yes, we want a great life for them and we expect great things from them. What a picture of what our Father in Heaven expects from us, His adoptive children.

Our chief task with Eden from this moment is to be a picture of Christ to her in our relationship with one another and those around us. I pray we will be parents that will not only lead her toward Christ, but challenge her to be a disciple-maker among the nations in her own life as well.