She Is Indeed a Toddler!

Another interesting day in Wuhan as we await our paperwork from the Notary Office (that's why we're staying the week here--it takes a few days to process all the adoption papers). Again today Eden was a little sad, but she seemed to find her figity-ness. She is indeed a toddler and contorted herself into all kinds of pretzel shapes in our arms as we carried her about today.

This morning our guide had a tour lined up of the city starting at 9:00 a.m. First of all, Wuhan in the summer is hot. I mean really, really hot, even by Birmingham standards. It's an oven inside a sauna sitting in the desert, wrapped in red peppers and covered with Tabasco. It wasn't quite misery walking around with the baby and the other families, but it was close. I think I lost five pounds due to sweat, which is good cause I need to drop a good 20 anyhow.

First we saw the Provincial Museum, where the contents of a 2,400 year old Chinese Nobleman's tomb were on display. Think of Egyptian tombs where everything is buried with the Pharoah--same thing. This guy had a 5-ton set of musical bells buried with him. They were cast in bronze and the whole assembly stood about 10 feet high. Knowing Jim Watkins' weariness at church handbells, I actually thought these might be cool enough to play in church on Sunday, so I took a few pictures.

There was a handbell concert that we went to and it was pretty cool. The music was cool, that is--the room itself was a blast furnace. Oh, did I mention it was crowded? They ended the show with Beethoven's Ode to Joy, which was fun to hear on an instrument created 400 years before Christ walked the earth.

Then it was on to "Yellow Crane Tower." I can't tell you the story of why it was built, because by this point in the day, I was "Minged-out" (our inside phrase for too much Chinese history at once). Apparently, though, every major monument requires an insanely large number of stairs to climb before you reach it. From the top of the tower we could see the whole city (that is, what we could make out in the haze of smog). There were some nice gardens nearby and Eden let me hold her for a while. I even got a few kisses in on her cheeks while she had her guard down.

We've really enjoyed seeing all the people, culture and getting a sense of the life here in China, but since Monday we've been more and more captured in our attention with little Eden. So we're really looking forward at this point to moving on tomorrow to Guangzhou. Tomorrow we'll get Eden's adoption certificate and a receipt (yes, when you adopt a child in China, they give you a receipt--"Paper or plastic? Would you like fries with your daughter?")

Speaking of Eden, here are some funny things about her. First, she likes to hold several things in both hands at one time. She picks up her bottle, her ball, her doll, and then wanders around frustrated as to why she can't hold a fourth item. She has found out exactly where we hide the cookies (she says, "beh beh" for cookie) and can not only point to where they are in the closet, but will walk over and show us what she wants just in case we don't understand. When something falls on the floor while she's eating, she has to stop and point to it until someone picks it up or "deals with it" in some manner. She LOVES watermelon--it captures her total focus as soon as someone places it on the table. She has learned to say "Maggie" (our dog), "Nana" (grandmom) and "Kay Kay" (Aunt Kelly) from their pictures in her little picture book. I've gotten just a few "Popa's" out of her, but she's just now starting to open up a little.

We've been blessed to meet some other great families and hang out with them here in Wuhan. We'll be meeting up with a few more families in Guangzhou. Tomorrow's plane ride should be interesting. Tonight we still have dinner (noodles we think) and bath time (earplugs, anyone?). She hasn't done any real grieving today but we're expecting some tears later as well--all the day's activities take her mind off of her foster mom during the day. When it's quiet at night she begins to process a little more and the tears usually come.

Thanks again for all your notes and emails. We miss everyone over there halfway around the world. Looking forward to arriving home next Wednesday.

Orphanage and Finding Place

Today we got up a little later and left around 9:30 a.m. to visit Eden's orphanage in Wuhan as well as her "finding place." Both experiences were a little different than we anticipated.

The orphanage was quite large and cares for about 600 children (half at the orphanage, the other half in foster-care), most of whom have some kind of mental or physical birth defect. We were told that now that domestic adoptions are permitted in China, there are fewer orphans in the orphanages, but those that are in orphanages are more likely to have a birth defect. We toured several floors and met with the orphanage director. After the tour (which was somewhat controlled in that we only saw a few areas) all the families pooled our money and asked the director what we could purchase for the orphanage. We ended up buying two color TVs for some of the classrooms.

The orphanage director is a pretty good guy and we think the facility is well run. When we signed the first set of paperwork on Monday they provided us with an album of Eden's photos every month since they put her on the adoption list. They obviously took a great deal of time and effort to document the lives of the children who live there.

We thought the orphanage visit would be very emotional for Eden, but she ended up remembering the place a little, I think, and was relatively calm and even happy at times during the visit. We saw the spots where the photos we had prior to the adoption were taken and it was kinda neat for us to see where Eden had spent her days up to this point. We were told her foster mom lived nearby but we had no contact with her today.

After a quick lunch we visited the hospital where Eden was abandoned. Unfortunately the guide did not have enough information to tell us exactly where in the hospital she was abandoned, so we ended up just taking a few pictures outside of the building. Like everywhere else in China, the hospital was crowded and we wondered exactly how anyone could have left her without being discovered.

It's becoming more and more clear to us that the grieving process for Eden is just that--a process. She's still active but a little distant, and I think I would be accurate in saying she is a little sad most of the time. When we got back to the hotel this afternoon she had a good cry, and we've been encouraging her to express her grief as much as possible. The bath tonight again was a Defcon-One episode. Also tonight daddy had his first comforting session while mommy made the unacceptable decision to leave Eden for 10 minutes to take a shower.

Our behavioral specialists have told us to expect all of this, but I think we thought that Eden would be more physical in her displays than emotional. Like, perhaps she would not let us touch her or pick her up or comfort her. Actually, that's no problem, but she does seem a little detached and sad and that hurts us to experience with her. The specialists have given us some additional advice through email and we continue to help her along even as we know that we probably won't totally register as "mom and dad" for quite a while yet--weeks, even months from now.

Tomorrow we're going sightseeing in Wuhan (there's like, only two things to see in a city of 11 million--go figure). The activity today was welcomed by all the families and tomorrow we'll probably get some good activity and wear the little one out just in time for her nap. On Friday, we leave for Guangzhou and the American Consulate appointment so Eden and Uncle Sam can meet.

Thanks again to everyone for your notes and prayers. It's a great blessing to us to read our emails in the mornings and hear from you. If you're wondering where all the great videos from our trip are on our blog, I could tell you that it's some internet issue, but the fact is, daddy forgot to pack the cable from the camera to the computer and so those may have to wait until we get back.

Oh, please be in prayer for our Wuhan guide, "I", who is not a believer, but has been asking some interesting questions on the bus today...

Eden Hope, Day 2

This morning we returned to the Civil Affairs Office to continue our paperwork for the adoption. Yesterday we essentially "checked out" Eden on a 24 hour evaluation basis. Today there was a brief interview at the Office and they asked us if we really wanted to adopt Eden after we "reviewed" her for 24 hours. Of course we nodded wildly! Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes!

Last night Eden slept all the way through the night. She seems to be used to a crib, because she took to it immediately. Today for her nap we laid her in the crib again and she already knows that's the sleeping place. It bears noting that her crib is the most comfortable bed in the hotel--the beds here might as well be quilted concrete they are SO hard.

Okay, now for the tough part. Eden is grieving the loss of her foster mom. This is completely obvious, a little painful to watch, and continued today. Now, today was a little better than yesterday, but she really does understand that someone is missing. Today several times she broke our hearts by walking to the door and pointing and saying, "mama." Sorry, sweety. We wish we could fully explain it to you. All we can do is support you now as you mourn the loss of your foster mom. We love you so much but unfortunately today that's just not enough. Eden has this little look she gives where she furrows her eyebrows and is obviously trying to figure things out. She'll give us great eye contact but I don't think she really thinks of us as mommy and daddy yet. I think the process that the Platt's went through in Kazakhstan where they visited the orphanage every day for two weeks would actually have been better than the "cold turkey" transition we've had--at least better for the baby to ease her into the transition.

The first bath time today was traumatic. We tried the tub last night but she burst into tears when her feet hit the water. Today we got sneaky and took her to the pool first and played a little. She was really scared, so we did not stay long. We can see streaks of bravery in her at play time, but she is so out of her comfort zone right now that anything new she just stands still and processes. Every child loves bubbles, right? Not Eden, at least not yet. We blew some bubbles at the pool and she cried like we were showering her with toxic waste. Oh well, all good things will come in time. I'm really looking forward to giving her some detailed instruction in the finer points of blowing bubbles...

Bath time had to come though and she full-on cried throughout the experience. No, mom, please, not the washcloth! No, no, not the shampoo! Ahhhhhh! What a tragedy! Mommy, you were mean to wash me, how could you!

Eden is crying quite a bit in her grief and we know we haven't seen the full scope of her little personality. We've gotten just a few smiles, and those have been precious and wide-mouthed displays of all 10 of her teeth. Before nap time today she cried in her crib and Keri stayed next to her and prayed over her until she fell asleep. We are seriously falling in love with this little Asian princess. We're just prayefully supporting her through the really big transition right now. It's kind of an odd process because when we grieves we actually don't stop her from crying by saying, "Shhh" or "Don't cry." Instead we let her cry and just rub her and pat her back and say comforting things as she grieves. I'm so grateful for all the preparation we had going into this--it's really helped us to not lose it ourselves in the process.

Oh, almost forgot to mention breakfast and lunch, which were quite the photo-ops. Seems Eden prefers her watermelon by the whole slice. At lunch, she would not give up until we gave her a "big person spoon" and promptly covered her face with mashed potatoes. Thanks to the marvel of digital photography, we'll be able to hold these photos over her head in so many new ways when she grows up. Ah, the joy of being in communications...

And one small note about China. There are NO fortune cookies here. None whatsoever. Seems that is actually an American invention. For the lunch buffet though there was "Duck Neck," "Dried Fish Skin with Chinese Spices" and "Spicy Lamb with Goat Cheese and Noodles." Mmmmm, tasty.

Tomorrow we head to visit Eden's orphanage. We expect this to be a very traumatic time for her. We met with many behavioral specialists before coming to China and all said that this would be a good experience for her--to go back, and then to leave with us. It will help her to process what is happening. Tomorrow we will also visit her "finding place" where she was abandoned in January of 2006. That will be an emotional experience for us too. So we're packing extra Kleenex in Keri's giant personalized diaper bag.

Thanks for your continued prayers and notes--they are so appreciated. We're here in Wuhan until Friday as the Civil Affairs Office processes paperwork and finally presents us with our adoption certificate, and then we head on to Guangzhou to finish up at the American Consulate.

Gotcha Day

Okay, now that we've had some time to hang out with Eden and absorb the events of the day, let me tell you a little bit of what happened. We went to breakfast about 7:15, but had been up for a while before that. At 8:30 we left for the Civil Affairs Office and arrived about 9:00 a.m.

It was very "matter of fact"--we walked in, walked up a flight of stairs, down a hall, and into a room. The babies and their caregivers were already there. We spotted Eden after a few seconds. All the adoptive parents and families sat on one side of the room and the children on the other. There were three families including us, and each set of parents had to fill out a few papers. We were the third family in line, so we sat for about 15 minutes making faces at Eden and smiling and laughing to her across the aisle.

We signed the forms and then the director announced that the parents could claim the children. Some cried immediately, but Eden held off while we were in the room. Her big brown eyes were taking us in, looking at her new mom and dad and tried to decide what to make of us. Right before we left the room I think she realized what was happening and that her caregiver was not around and we were not going back to where she came from.

Then the tears started from both of us. Eden definitely has some healthy lungs. By the time we got down the stairs to the waiting bus she was in full-on grief-stricken sky-is-falling wailing and crying, which lasted the entire 20 minute trip back to the hotel. Once we got to the room, she continued crying for another 30 minutes or so. Finally after about an hour, I think she had enough for now and stopped. The next little while she explored her new toys and we played with her. We gave her some noodles and chicken for lunch along with a bottle of milk. She also has an affection for cookies and Cheereos. Then she took a long nap.

The orphanage provided a schedule of her day, and she normally naps in the afternoon, so we let her fall asleep on mom's tummy and we watching a DVD on the laptop while she slept. She just got up a little bit ago and is collecting all her toys in a big pile around her on the bed. She's especially fond of a Winnie The Poo cell phone (all girls like to talk! I can now say that is universal from culture to culture).

Keri and I would describe her mood as mellow. She's engaged, but not smiling quite yet and we expect some more tears of grief before the night is up. When the room service lady came in at lunch time she started up again briefly--any sign of an Asian woman sets her off right now. We expect that will continue for a few days at least. Tomorrow morning we go back to the Civil Affairs Office for more papers, and so we know that will be another hard time for her.

Eden is smaller than we expected (much of the information we were given was wrong, which is not unusual). She's 21 pounds and really needs 12-18 month clothes versus the 18-24 month clothes we brought with us. She's walking rather well, and independent with her play. She's quite the explorer. She has a determined little face and likes to try out stuff for herself versus us handing it to her. Right now she's slurping down some apple juice for the first time and seems to like it.

She's wearing diapers but really reacted badly when Keri changed her. We've been talking to her throughout so she can begin to get used to the sound of our voices. Keri's mom went shopping for us with the other families and brought back some of her favorite Chinese foods and some clothes to try on.




I could describe her in detail from her amazingly cute little nose to her deep, dark brown eyes to her soft yellow skin and her rugged, chubby feet. I could go on and on about her thoughtful, perplexed and anxious looks on her intriguingly expressive face. I think I am safe in saying she is the cutest child ever (sorry to all other parents reading this--but I know it's true). She's making some fun noises and is good at pointing at what she wants.

Obviously more difficult hours are ahead as she gets to know us, as she's kinda been thrown into this whole thing. She's got great eye contact with us which is a good sign. She's death-gripped mommy a few times this afternoon which is a good sign of bonding and she will have to build up to letting daddy hold her for long periods of time. Seeing as I stand a good 8 inches to a foot taller than every other guy in this city and my head is gray and balding instead of black and full, I may just scare her a bit.

It's been an inspiring day. We're so grateful for God's provision and grace. All the families prayed together on the way to the Office this morning that God would be glorified in all that transpired today. This afternoon Keri and I prayed over Eden as she feel asleep. And she has also been covered in the prayers of our friends (thank you!). God's hand has been so clearly evident throughout and we're enjoying the hours today even as we look forward to coming home to Birmingham.

The Masons +1

We'll post a longer explanation of "Gotcha Day" later, but the Masons are now joyously "plus one". What an absolutely incredible, amazing day, and a life-changing experience.

12 Hours From Now...

Twelve hours from now we will be parents. Sunday started out with a meeting here at the hotel where we filled out some paperwork related to the adoption. We received instructions that we will be headed to the Civil Affairs Office at 8:00 a.m. on Monday and will be receiving little Eden.

During the day, all of the adopting families staying here (there are three of us) took a quick bus tour of the area and got our bearings (i.e. located the supermarket, the McDonald's and other shopping areas). Then we had a Chinese lunch before heading back to the hotel.




This afternoon we rearranged the hotel room to make some play space. The hotel staff is delivering a crib to the room and Keri is laying out clothes and toys for Eden. The suggested plan is to receive Eden in the morning, then spend the day with her here in the room. One reason for this is so that she sees just us for an extended period of time and not any Chinese faces. Going out among the Chinese people the first day or so can really be confusing to her as so many will look like her foster mom. Instead, we'll console her as best we can and begin the bonding process.

As the photo shows, we're calm, cool and collected. Actually we're anxious, excited and can hardly stand it. Not sure either of us will sleep much tonight. Early breakfast tomorrow, then Eden, here we come!

Entering Wuhan

On the way to the airport today in Beijing we got to talk again to "L" and it was a tremendous experience. He asked so many questions about our beliefs and was fascinated--especially by the fact that our faith did not require a priest to go to God before us. This was intriguing to him and gave us an opportunity to talk to him even more. We gave him one of the "Awaken" CDs from Brook Hills as a gift and he was delighted to receive it and wanted to listen. Please continue to pray for "L" that a seed planted may be further developed by other believers in China and elsewhere in the coming weeks and months.



Well we made it to Wuhan on Saturday evening and got to our hotel at around 7:00 p.m. The hour drive in from the airport here was enlightening... this is a VERY different city than Beijing. First of all, about half the size. 11 million here versus 22 million in Beijing. Secondly, a more rural and agricultural area.

Wuhan is bisected by the giant Yangtze River, the largest in China. There are many crops grown along the river and this is a trade center as well as goods are shipped up and down the river. There are many poorer communities here--we saw quite a bit of poverty and lower-income areas, unlike Beijing where everyone lives in relative comfort. Some of these housing developments are huge. One apartment complex alone has a population of more than 80,000 (that's the size of greater Hoover, Alabama)--and that's just one complex. But again we've found the people friendly and hospitable. And did I mention it is crowded?

Tomorrow we'll be given a brief tour to get the lay of the land around the hotel, which will be our home for the next week. On Monday morning, bright and early, we get Eden. We are so excited. We could not wait to arrive in Wuhan and I think we will not be getting much sleep tonight or Sunday night. The other families in our group are here at the hotel and everyone is on pins and needles. We are SOOOOO ready for the week to begin! One of the tasks for tomorrow is to make our list of questions to ask the Orphanage about Eden... that'll take some thought and time.

Please be in prayer for us over the next two or three days especially. At about 8:00 p.m. on Sunday night (your time), it will be 9:00 a.m. on Monday here, and we will be meeting Eden for the first time. We've been told the crying will last for a few days at least, so we're getting ready to be a loving mommy and daddy to a reluctant 18-month-old.

Continuing the China theme of contrast--there is a McDonald's here, and a KFC, and a Wal-Mart. There's a Porsche dealership. We've also seen some really terrible living conditions and I am saying a prayer of thanksgiving as I type this that God has allowed our daughter to receive such great care in the midst of obvious hardship and need among her own people.

There is just and endless sea of people everywhere we look--hardly a glance you can make anywhere in this city without seeing throngs of folks on foot, on bicycles, in buses and cars. We flippantly use that phrase all the time "God cares about each and every person," but here it takes on a very special meaning. Partly because there are just SO MANY people, and partly because He has chosen to bring us together with Eden--two among 300 million meeting one among 1.3 billion. Wow. The world is big but our God is bigger.

Okay, we're going to try to settle on a DVD to watch on the computer and hopefully get a little rest before tomorrow. ZZZzzz.....

Bye Bye Beijing, Hello Wuhan

It's Saturday morning and we're packing away for our afternoon trip to Wuhan. It's about an hour and a half flight to this city located in central China. So today is the official transition day from sightseeing days to adoption days. We're both very, very excited. Last night Keri and I kept saying to each other "We can't wait to get to Wuhan."

Friday was pretty cool overall--we saw the Summer Palace, which is where the Chinese Emperors lived when the weather was nice. It was built later, in the 1700s. At 700 acres it was pretty large, even with the man-made lake and all. We also went to a Tea House and tried out some different kinds of tea. Then we went to an acrobatic show, which in my book was as good as any Cirque Du Soliel I have ever seen. Where else are you going to see 12 women balancing on a bicycle? Oh, did I mention it was crowded?

Please be in prayer for our guide, "L", who has been very open and talkative during our time here. Keri was able to tell him a little bit yesterday about who we are, and he was interested and receptive.

Our flight leaves at 4:00 p.m. or so and we'll be in Wuhan tonight. We don't know yet if we get Eden on Sunday or Monday--most likely Monday but sometimes they bring the babies on Sunday. This is what we have been waiting on for nearly two years and it's kinda hard to believe that baby-day is just about here!

Travel Dates

This has been a busy week finalizing our plans for our trip to China. Me, Gene and my mom will depart for China on July 15th and return on August 1st. We are going to spend a few days sightseeing in Beijing before we go to Eden's city to pick her up. We will be in Wuhan (Eden's city) from July 21-27, and then in Guangzhou from July 27-31. We have spent the week in meetings organizing paperwork with our social worker, talking with travel agents, wiring funds to China, etc.

We also received an updated weight for Eden. We have been told that she now weighs 11 kg, which is 24.25 pounds. She turned 18 months old on June 27th. I spent about 30 minutes on the phone with attachment/bonding specialist at UAB's International Adoption Clinic on Friday. She was so realistic and encouraging as she explained what we might can expect in terms of Eden's initial transition from her foster home to life with us. She confirmed that this will be very tough and traumatic for Eden initially - but the odds are very good that since she probably has a healthy attachment to her foster mom, she will likely grieve for several months and slowly transfer that healthy bond to us, her forever parents. We were told that she will likely regress during the first few months and probably not "act like" an 18-month-old for quite some time as she adjusts. What Gene and I need to focus on is not her age and what would be considered "appropriate" behavior, but on comforting and supporting her through her grief and meeting her needs, whatever they may be. Sleep could likely be a big struggle at first, and inconsolable crying is likely to be frequent for the first month or so.

I know this may seem overwhelming, but I have faith that God has been preparing all 3 of us for the weeks and months ahead. I have a new friend at church who adopted a little girl from Russia and she reminded me this week that no matter what comes, we must remember that God perfectly matched Eden with us, and we have exactly what she needs. What an awesome God! Gene and I are so excited! We are counting down the days until we come face-to-face with the little angel who has already stolen our hearts. What a blessing she already is!