Long Overdue Zoey Update

Happy New Year!  Sorry for the delay in updating on how we are adjusting...the holidays came and the time went...I'm sure you can relate.  We have been home with sweet Zoey Faith for 2 1/2 months now. In some ways, it feels like much longer, and in others like we just stepped off the plane.  There have been several times that Gene has looked over at me like a deer in headlights and said, "I can't believe we have already been to China and back."  I totally agree...how is it that you spend months and even years waiting to meet your child and then when you finally get the word to go, it feels so sudden, abrupt, and you feel ill-prepared...I guess that's called parenthood, right?  "I am totally ready to be responsible for one of God's precious ones.  I am prepared to love, nurture, discipline and disciple this little precious sinner and lead him/her to Christ"...said no one, ever.

I am going to give one huge update on where we are since who knows when I will post again...lol.  Before I dive in, let me begin with a little about Zoey.  She is a tiny ball of life and joy.  We chose her name because it means, "life."  And as with Eden's name (which means "delight") it fits her perfectly.  She runs everywhere she goes...like Phoebe from "Friends" running in Central Park (if you ever saw that TV episode).  Hands in the air, huge grin and scurrying feet...up and down the hall...all day long.  Sometimes I call her when I need a good laugh because I know when I hear her coming and see that face round the corner it will evoke a belly laugh.  She loves to be held.  She is sweet beyond description...deep down in her spirit...just sweet, soft-spoken and gentle.  However, we have seen glimpses of a stubborn streak that I'm sure will continue to emerge as she feels more comfortable and safe with us.  She does NOT like to share.  The girl LOVES lip gloss and to brush her teeth and to take a bath.  Her favorite book is Good Night Moon and her favorite songs are "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Twinkle, Twinkle."  She is hilarious and silly.  Somehow (ahem, Eden) she has learned the phrase, "Gangham Style" and repeats it over and over (youtube the dance if you're curious...it must be an Asian thing).  Her most-used phrases are, "Potty mommy, all done, look mommy, where sissy go, and whatcha doin?"  She can also recite most of "Good Night Moon, Good Night I Love You, and Mommy Hugs."  This kid LOVES food.  If she hears a package being opened or the fridge door she makes a bee-line for the kitchen and stalkingly hovers until you give her something.  Yogurt is by far her favorite food...and any kind of fruit.  Elmo and Curious George are her TV shows right now...and play dough is the toy of choice....and of course anything Eden is playing with.  She is so precious and I love her more with each week that passes.

It has always been my policy to be transparent and honest about both the joys and struggles of adoption on this blog.  Sometimes I read other blogs and wonder if I am doing something wrong because it is all wonderful and full of love, hugs and kisses...like Pinterest on crack.  After 2 adoptions of special needs toddlers, I know it is unwise to compare our journeys, children, or stories to one another.  And yet, we all tempted to do so.  Here, you will find transparency.  It is wonderfully difficult, painstakingly slow, and worth it even in my failures.  Just yesterday I completely lost my cool with Zoey and regret and fear flooded my soul as her eyes went blank and she entered the "Zoey zone" - our name for when she disassociates.  I fail daily.  But I love my girls and want to paint a real picture of what happens on this side of the journey.  So, with that said...

Zoey is struggling developmentally.  Her paperwork listed her as "developmentally delayed" so we knew (in theory) she had delays...as do all institutionalized kids - especially after almost 4 years.  In reality, however, we had no clue what this would mean...and we still don't.  I am not going to go into too many details on this public forum because I don't want to label Zoey in any way.  To be honest, I am having to fight against labeling her in my own mind.  Confusion, frustration and fear are powerful forces that I fight daily.  To quote her doctors, Zoey is a, "mixed bag of tricks."  At this point, appointments and evaluations have left us with more questions than answers.  Between orphanage delays, the adoption trauma and change, her laid-back temperament, learning a second language, and so many unknowns from her first 3 1/2 years, who knows what is going on in that sweet head and heart.  All we know is that she is fearfully and wonderfully made...and that we love her and are committed to her no matter what.

We have been to 2 appointments at the International Adoption Clinic where we've seen the pediatrician, behavioral therapist, and occupational therapist.  From those appointments we have begun what I call "detective work" to try and piece together what is going on with our girl and how we can best help her.  We have been to the audiologist and discovered she may have partial hearing loss in one ear.  Our follow up is to see the ENT to see if maybe chronic ear infections have led to these issues and if perhaps there is fluid deep in the inner ear causing it (very likely).  Getting to the bottom of this will help with language delays.  We have seen the pediatric ophthalmologist for her lazy eye.  Because Zoey can't communicate well enough yet, they couldn't do a vision screening.  Looking in her eyes, all looked well and we are patching the "good eye" for a couple of hours each day to see if this helps.  Doc feels it is possible neurological and not a vision issue...time will tell.  We have an appointment with the geneticist next week and hope to find out if Zoey has a diagnosable genetic syndrome that will explain some of her issues.  And we are waiting for confirmation to see a neuro-muscualar doctor for her issues with balance and movement.  On top of all that, she will have 8 teeth filled and/or crowned in feb. at the hospital under general anesthesia.  Our dentist felt that would be the least stressful on her to get her teeth in shape.

Now, for bonding.  It's hard.  Loving her is not hard...but attaching to her has been difficult for me.  The root of it all is that because she isn't communicating with me, I feel that I don't really know her.  She talks (repeating words or using simple phrases that she hears regularly) but she doesn't communicate her needs, thoughts, feelings yet.  I have faith that this will come...but it's taking longer than I was prepared for.  It's kind of like having an infant but in a preschool body.  It's hard to separate her physical and emotional & cognitive ages...because they are all different.  At times I see rays of hope come through...but most of the time, if I'm honest, it's like the real Zoey is locked deep inside layers of coping mechanisms and people-pleasing.  I often ask myself, "Is any child really this easy, cooperative and happy all the time, or is this how she's survived up to now?"  I don't know the answer yet.

We have made SO MUCH progress, though.  When we first met Zoey she NEVER cried.  Her pain tolerance was extremely high, and she disassociated almost hourly.  Now, she comes to me for comfort and to kiss her boo-boos.  She allows us to sit and read to her and rock her to sleep.  She still rocks herself at night, but not nearly as much as before.  She isn't as hyper and isn't overeating as bad.  A couple of times she has shown that she didn't want me to leave and go somewhere.  She has cried a couple of times in the night instead of rocking herself back to sleep (not as often as I'd like).  She shows fear and her dislike at dr. appointments now.  She initiates affection and is not as inappropriately friendly and affection with strangers as she used to be (still have some work to do in this area, though).  Overall, she is doing wonderfully...I have just been learning to re-define what "doing well" is for her.

I have very high hopes for this little fighter.  I do think that she has true developmental and cognitive delays - not just the ordinary orphanage/adoption delays - and I don't care.  I am learning to adjust my expectations...not to expect less from her, but to let her be just who God created her to be.  I think this is why I have had trouble feeling like her mommy...because I have been trying to get to know her on my terms, instead of going to her on hers.  Isn't that what God did for us?  We couldn't get to Him, so He made Himself less, humbled Himself and came to us, meeting us where we were but refusing to leave us there.  And so, once again, God is revealing to me the glories of Christ through my journey of motherhood to this little girl.  "Lower, lower..." He whispers in my ear.  "Not so fast, slow down, quit trying...you don't need her to speak, you need Me to speak...listen."

Every single time I've been at a complete loss, at times in tears on the floor of her bedroom, His Spirit has answered, led and revealed.  He truly is the Father of the fatherless.  And today, I am praising Him for knowing every answer I do not, and for teaching me that this is enough.  He is all we need.

Your prayers mean more than words can say.  Enjoy these pictures of our last 2 months!

    

I'm Baaaack

I cannot believe I have not posted since we arrived home from China!  Adjusting to our new normal has taken a few weeks, but I feel like we are finally hitting our groove.  November 8th marked one month with our girl (including our time in China), and the changes are truly unbelievable.  There is so much to share...so much still to process.  So, I decided to look back and share some pictures and thoughts of the highlights of the past month with our sweet Zoey.  It's a great way to process and record my thoughts.  So...here I go...this will come in several posts...

We got this picture just a few days before we left for China.  When I saw her dressed up like a princess, my heart filled with joy.  I had purposely saved all the princess dress-up clothes that Eden doesn't play with anymore "with the hope" that we would one day need it again.  And boy does Zoey like to dress up.  Every little girl should feel like her daddy's princess.  It breaks my heart when that is missed, whether by neglect, being orphaned, divorce, etc.  I am so thankful that my husband loves our girls well and showers them with affection and affirmation...and attention.  He makes time to be with them and make memories with them.  Daddy/daughter dates are just around the corner for he and Eden.  This little princess had our heart from day one...and we are trusting God and "doing the work" to win her heart as well.

So finally it was time to travel.  We were on the last row of the plane, beside a senile Chinese guy who screamed most of the flight...fun times!  I took this picture out the window of the plane about 8 hours into the 15-hour flight...it's Siberia!  This homeschooling mama may or may not have squealed with excitement that she could see the North Pole...until my husband gently corrected me...and burst my bubble.  Oh well...he can teach geometry class...lol

The travel went more smoothly than I prepared myself for...I think Eden did better than we did :0)  There were 2 other Lifeline families on our flight, both with kiddos traveling with them that were close in age to Eden, which was such a blessing.  One, interestingly enough, was the Jones family that we knew from Brook Hills...who also have an adopted Eden from China.  The two Edens...Eden H. and Eden L. we were directed to call them...had a blast the whole trip.  When we de-planed in Hong Kong, they promptly serenaded those waiting in the customs line with "A tooty tah, a tooty tah, a tooty tah tah."  After 15 hours on the plane, we just let them sing their hearts out.  After a night in Hong Kong, all three families took the train to Guangzhou and checked into our awesome hotel, "The Garden."

Here's the two Edens in line to take the train in Hong Kong.

And here we are on the train...one of our last memories just the three of us.  My mom was with us, too!

Here are "the Edens" and the Mattox boys in the lobby of "The Garden."  And yes, those are real flowers...orchids to be exact.  Gorgeous!

So Sunday was a "free day."  We chose to go with the Jones family to an international church that meets at a local hotel in Guangzhou.  I am SO glad we went.  The kids went to a children's class, and we got to have communion with brothers and sisters from all over the world.  Interestingly, they check passports at the door if you look Ch*nese, because it is illegal for locals to worship there...only non-citizens were aloud.  About halfway through the service it hit me that Zoey would have been unable to attend.  It's hard to wrap your mind around that truth...

Monday we did paperwork in the morning, and then it was finally time to leave for the Civil Affairs office to meet our Zoey.  I was strangely calm until we started getting off the bus...then the nervousness set in.  God had done it...again.  It seemed like a dream...here I was, halfway around the world, about to "give birth" to a 3 1/2 year old little girl.  I loved her, but I didn't know her.  I was choosing to love her - not based on anything she had done, or how she loved and needed me, or because she was my flesh and blood...but simply because I wanted to love her.  Every time I stop and ponder this conscious choice we made, and are making daily, I am humbled to be loved this way by my sweet Savior.

Here we are on the way...



The office...oh my goodness this is really happening...

So let me just take a minute and dispel any romantic, fairy-tale notions you may have about "Gotcha Day" (the day you meet your child).  For most people in China, this happens in a room filled with other people meeting their kids...so it's chaotic, HOT, crowded, HOT, and noisy.  There is no easing into it either...they just hand you the kid...or shove her out from behind a curtain in our case, backpack-laden and holding the build-a-bear we made and sent her...be still my heart.  She came to us just-a grinning...clueless and smiling...going with the flow...following directions...that's our sweet Zoey.  One day she is gonna learn it's ok to have an opinion about things...even tonight Gene asked her to eat and gave her a bite of something and she took it and tried to chew and swallow, as she gagged because she didn't like it...bless her heart.  She was gonna eat that bite.  Imagine her relief when I told her it was ok to spit it out...I almost cried.  Sweet, sweet Zoey Faith.

Our first few moments together...

Breaking the ice...and all cultural barriers...with a pez dispenser.

Finally, the FOUR of us...

The ride back to the hotel...becoming a daughter is EXHAUSTING...Eden did the same thing...

Can I just be honest and say I was a little scared at first of this toddler girl?  We got back to the hotel room and I just kind of looked at her, like, "What am I supposed to do with you?"  Daddy had stopped at the store for survival gear like yogurt and noodles...and I was on my own with my 2 daughters...oh crud...now what?  All the paperwork and interviews can never prepare you for that moment...this kid is real and I am responsible for her.  I have fooled 2 governments and countless social workers into thinking that I know what I'm doing...oh crud...

In all seriousness, Zoey was easy.  And if there's one thing this kid loves, it's a bath.  Eden cracked us all up when we took Zoey's hair out of the pigtails and she said, "Zoey looks like a Chinese warrior!"

Ready for bed the first night...

I knew that once the government of China entrusted this little gem to us, we would never be the same.  We named her Zoey because it means, "Life."  And this little angel is SO FULL of LIFE!  She is sweet, but knows how to stand her ground.  Every day I learn something new about her and I just love it.  

There is much more to share so in my next post (which won't be a month from now, I promise), I will look back on our first week with Zoey in China.  So much to tell!  

There's No Place Like Home...

Just wanted to post quickly to say we made it home safely.  Thank you all for your sweet prayers and excitement for us as we journeyed nearer to the heart of God, and halfway around the world, to bring our precious Zoey Faith home.

I have so much to share...but must make myself go to bed and rest.  For now, the girls and tucked in and sleeping soundly in their new bunk beds...let's hope they stay that way :0)

Love you all!

Last Post from China

We are in Hong Kong for the night and will fly home tomorrow.  The following is a post I wrote a couple of days ago but couldn't post until now.  Gene and I surprised Eden and he took her to Disney in Hong Kong today while mom, Zoey and I waited to receive Zoey's consulate paperwork before taking the train to HK this evening.  We can't wait to be home and will arrive in Atlanta on United Airlines at 7 p.m. from Chicago on the 17th.  Anyone is welcome to greet us at the airport.

Thanks for all your prayers...will post tons of pics and video when we are back home.  Love you all!

The Final Stretch - written Monday

It's Keri posting this time.  We just returned from the US Consulate Appointment and are relaxing in the room for a bit before lunch and then a trip with Eden to the zoo.  I think Zoey and daddy are going to stay back for a nap.  If Eden wasn't so excited about seeing the squirrel and the dalmations at the zoo I think we would all skip the afternoon sweat-fest altogether.  But alas, she has her heart set on it so we will take her.

Zoey  is doing well.  I am still unsure of exactly what to do with her other than "survive" until we get back home.  She is so easy…too easy.  Part of me is like, "Enjoy it" and the other part – the attachment educated part – is like "this is gonna be a LONG road."  She literally never complains, cries, wimpers, etc.  She is laid back and doesn't show much emotion.   I have noticed some progress over the past week, though.  She lights up with the biggest grin now whenever I pick her up.  Another difference I have noticed is that she reaches up for me ALL the time…she only wants to be held.  She will go to anyone…but she reaches for me.  Over the last couple of days I have gotten a semi-hug back from her and a couple of kisses.  

I have also seen her relax some since the orphanage visit.  She is much more silly and verbal…talking to herself in Cantonese.  She is repeating most of "Good Night Moon" back to me each night when we read before bed.  Last night I sat her in my lap facing me and sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and she LOVED it.  I tried to sing it again and she got so excited she started hitting and head-butting.  Perhaps the biggest obstacle to really connecting with her so far is that I think one-on-one attention is so foreign to her that after just a couple of minutes of it, she goes berserk and gets rough and inappropriate with boundaries (hair pulling, head butting, hitting).  She isn't being mean…just very excited.  I am learning I'm gonna have to slowly introduce nurture to her b/c it's too much for her to handle all at once.

I've tried several times to recline her in my arms and rock her and she won't have it.  She fights against it and moves her eyes all around to avoid looking at me.  Once again, she doesn't lash out at me – she just is very uncomfortable.  Last night I tried holding her tighter to see if she would calm down and relax but the opposite happened.  She started to struggle and grunt to get free so I let her up.

She is such a precious little girl.  She is funny and sweet and adorable.  She smiles almost constantly and takes everything in with her giant brown eyes.  She loves to play and I already know she is gonna love playing kitchen and house.  Her younger foster sister was adopted by one of our travel group families and Zoey mothers little Bria (2) and looks out for her.  It is very sweet.  This family lives in Cullman and we look forward to staying in touch so our girls can know each other and have that precious connection to their past.

I will post again once more before we leave.  Can't wait to see everyone.

Winding Down

Hi there! Gene here posting again. Just a few days left here in China and we'll be home. Honestly, we're all pooped and ready to be on the plane. Sunday was a down-time day with some souvenir shopping and an evening trip on the Pearl River Dinner Cruise. The shopping mall was, of course, China-huge, and it totally overstimulated Zoey, who spaced out for a while in the afternoon, even after a nap. We're learning that too much eye-candy and activity for her is not healthy. This is actually somewhat true of Eden as well, but not quite so pronounced.

Today (Monday) is our US Consulate appointment. We leave the hotel in about an hour to do our final US paperwork and get Zoey's entry visa for the USA. Then tomorrow it's back to Hong Kong via train to catch our flight to the states. I have a little surprise planned for Eden. She and I are leaving on a much earlier train since only one parent has to wait on the US visa to be delivered. That will give me time to take Eden for 1/2 day to Hong Kong Disneyland. She has no idea--will be a total surprise. I'm not going to tell her until we are on the train.

Thanks again to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Appreciate the Facebook posts and the emails as very welcome contact with home.

Photos from China

 

On the airplane ready for takeoff.

 

About halfway through the 15 1/2 hour flight.

 

Final pic of the Mason Three.

 

Eden having fun doing her favorite thing... in China!

 

Meeting Zoey for the first time.

 

Eden doing some artwork in our down time.

Sisters getting to know each other.

 

Eden and Zoey with their grandmother, Roberta McWhorter, who joined us again this time around.

 

Our entire adoption travel group.

 

Zoey and Keri feeding the fish.

 

Eden and Zoey at the Guangzhou Botanical Gardens.

 

The Mason Four at the Guangzhou Botanical Gardens.

 

Zoey on our orphanage visit day.

 

Standing at Zoey's finding spot in front of the orphanage.

 

The Masons down by the Pearl River with the Guangzhou skyline behind us.

The Orphanage Visit

Hubby Gene here once again. I'll talk a little about our orphanage visit on Friday, though I am sure Keri will post her perspective at some point. We drove from Guangzhou to Maoming starting early in the morning--departing at 6:30 a.m. It's about 5 hours to this neighboring city to the southwest. This is where Zoey was found and lived her life up until a few days ago.

Maoming is much smaller than Guangzhou. It's filled with tens of thousands of people on mopeds. I've never seen so many motor scooters. We got to the orphanage just before lunch time. The staff led us up to the fourth floor playroom, where we met many of the caregivers. We got pictures of several children whose Lifeline parents asked us in advance to contact. We gave out some care packages to these kids and talked with the orphanage director.

Then we met Zoey's foster mom. It was really a rather unemotional experience, which surprised us. Zoey cried when she and some other teachers left the room, which was one of the few times she has showed any kind of great emotion, so we took that as a good sign. We gave her foster mom a gift and soon left the room. Our travel group had gathered some money and given it to the orphanage and they showed us the large pile of diapers they were able to purchase with the money.

The orphanage was comparatively nice, based on others Keri and I have seen around the world. They kids had good food, a roof over their heads, indoor plumbing and obviously had some good education resources. They took us to Zoey's preschool classroom and we saw her little chair with her Chinese name printed on the back of it. Her former teachers played with her there a few minutes.

Finally, they took us around front to Zoey's "finding spot"--the place where she was abandoned. We posed for a picture there, but neither Keri nor I felt like smiling. Zoey is abandoned no more, so we felt that we kinda checked that off our bucket list and were soon ready to move on. The orphanage director treated us to a nice lunch, and then we started the long ride back to Guangzhou.

I should mention that about 2/3 of the way back the headlights went out on the bus, so the driver kept going, on the highway, in the pitch black dark, and we were all scared to death. Keri started singing "Jesus, Take the Wheel" to lighten the mood and after some prayer and nail biting we arrived safely back at the hotel. I was gonna do room service at that point, since we were so tired and it was around 8:00 p.m., but we found out a room service hamburger was $30, so I opted for McDonald's instead.

The orphanage visit did shed some light on Zoey on the behavioral side. Honestly, though, we will have to wait until we get home to get her on a regular schedule and begin addressing her needs in earnest. The visit was really just a puzzle piece for us, and hopefully God will show us how this fits in her personality and behavior as we get a few months down the road.

Zoey is really a sweetheart. We love her smile and her laugh. She readily reaches for Keri and has begun repeating English words when we read to her. When she goes bathroom she says "bye bye" to her poop as it goes down the toilet. Keri has pulled out some matching outfits, which Eden just loves, and we've gotten lots of great pictures.

Today (Saturday) is more paperwork and finalizing matters before Monday's U.S. Consulate appointment. Just a few days left now before we hit the airport for home. Keri and I are both ready to be back in the States. We continue to ask for your prayers for us for safe travel, for Zoey's bonding and for God to be honored through our actions and speech here on the other side of the world.

Day 2 & 3 with Zoey

It's mommy here...enjoying some much-needed down time after a morning of sight-seeing, a great lunch with our travel group, and a long nap!  Gene did a great job filling you in on the details of our day yesterday.  We saw more of the same laid-back, complacent Zoey Faith - a 180 degree difference from Eden's medical appointment with her adoption.  She screamed when they weighed her...Zoey just went with the flow - not a wimper or a flinch.  After the visa medical appointment we went and had a family picture taken for the adoption decree...I think.  All the paperwork runs together - and Gene has been appointed the "paperwork person" while in China.

Zoey is doing great...small progress each day.  It's amazing what 24 hours of family living does for her.  The first night I tried to read "Goodnight Moon" and snuggle her right before putting her in bed and she literally didn't even know how to be read to.  She kept yanking the book, furiously flipping through the pages...much like a baby would instead of a 3 1/2 year old.  Snuggling is definitely a new concept and when I tried to lay her back in my arms she looked everywhere but me - zero eye contact.  I followed the exact same routine last night and this time, she was much calmer and sat still during the book.  When I laid her back to "rock" her she made some eye contact and relaxed into my arms.  It filled my heart with hope and joy to see her enjoying my affection, even though she has no idea yet how to return it.

I can't wait for everyone to meet her (even though it will be a while).  Adorable doesn't begin to describe her.  She is sweet and has a smile that lights up the room.  She has a little prance/swagger when she walks that is so cute!  Part of it I'm sure is her physical delays because she walks on her toes and kind of arches her back and leans her head back...but it is cute!  I call it the Zoey swagger.  She is not verbal yet...except at night she whispers to herself in bed while she "rocks" herself to sleep.  She is repeating a few words back but not much.

Today we went to the Guangzhou Botanical Gardens and she loved feeding the fish.  My favorite part was the "Sun House" where they grew orchids...beautiful!  The rose garden was also lovely.  Tomorrow we will head to MaoMing City to visit the orphanage.  I cannot wait to see where Zoey spent her first 3 1/2 years.  We should meet her foster mother as well and I'm looking forward to meeting her and hopefully learning more about Zoey from her.  It is a long drive...so we will leave at 6:30 a.m. and not return until tomorrow night.  Thankfully, all 4 MaoMing families from our group are going so we are taking the big bus with reclining seats!  The kids will get to eat at the orphanage and we will get to see how they used to sit and eat their meals.  It will be interesting to see how Zoey reacts.  I'm not expecting much emotion from her but you never know...she might surprise us.

We dressed the girls alike today in the cute leopard-print outfits my Aunt Ginger bought them in OK.  They turned heads everywhere we went and we got some great pictures in the Gardens.  I love them both and am so proud to be their mommy.  My sweet Eden amazes me and seems to grow more lovely and mature each day.  She is an amazing big sister and is so delighted that Zoey is now beginning to let her help her.  My mind cannot fathom what my Zoey has endured.  While I have no reason to believe she was ever mistreated physically...the lack of having a mommy has taken an incredible toll on her...especially with her laid-back personality and developmental delays.  These 2 factors combined with orphanage living created a perfect storm in her little life.  I am, however, grateful for the great care she received by orphanage standards. 

I am so thankful that God, in His great wisdom and grace, placed her in our family.  Being her mommy will stretch and grow me in ways that parenting Eden haven't because they are so different.  There is NO way I can give them both what they need apart from His guiding Spirit and grace, energy, love and endurance.  I feel nervous for what lies ahead.  But I also am reminded of God's answer to the Apostle Paul's pleas for an easier life: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."  Paul then said, "Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Over the past several weeks, I have been reading the book "Anything" by Jennie Allen.  A few days before we left for China I read a portion that God has seared into my heart and mind.  I believe it was Him preparing me for what He has called me to do in this season...so I will leave you with her words:

"When you turn your life over to a living God who sees need, who loves desperately, the way He chooses to pour you out will be as unique as the way He formed you in the womb and placed you in your space on the earth.  Some of our anythings feel flashy and fancy, but most of our anythings fall in secret places.

What we once did in order to matter or to bee seen we forgot all about.  We matter and are seen because of love.  Because there is an object to our actions, we move and love and restore not to matter but because we have been moved, loved, and restored.  Radical acts are not the goal; we are truly moved by a Person, in love with Him, with Christ.  And out of that love comes a willingness to trust and hand over our lives.  Out of that, Jesus, because He is merciful, leads us to the unique places where we can give our lives away."

God's priorities are beautiful, and they trickle down into invisible spaces...into neighborhoods and families and friends and strangers.  He will call us to pour our lives into the cracks around us, and sometimes into cracks far from our doorsteps.  But wherever He calls us, we pour, not wishing for a larger crack or a more noticeable one, or even the one we were expecting.  Truly knowing our beautiful and terrifying God will make us willing to do anything."

From Atlanta, GA to Guangdong China - my anything in this season is a little girl who is orphaned no more.  In the coming months I will pour my life into hers with fierce love and determination, stopping at nothing to see her healed and made whole by her Creator.  God is teaching and changing me through her life...and I am humbled.  Loving and serving Christ, my husband, and my 2 girls fills my heart with joy and love.  It isn't a fancy life...but it is wonderfully fulfilling if I remember for Whose sake I do it.

Love you all...please pray for tomorrow to be all that Zoey needs it to be in order to begin to heal and attach to us!

More paperwork

Hey there! Gene posting here tonight. Wednesday in China was more paperwork, including a trip to the doctor for a routine medical exam required before a visa is issued for Zoey to return home with us. Zoey is eating great and very agreeable. She is starting to warm up to Keri and let me carry her a few times today as well (though Keri so far is getting the big smiles and outstretched arms to hold her).

One thing that disturbed us today was when Zoey got a shot for a TB test, required for exit to the U.S. She did not cry. She did not even flinch. Like it didn't even happen. That's very unusual for a child, and indicative of detachment that is common in many orphanage environments. So Zoey is mostly docile and can just sit and play on her own, though she absolutely loves being engaged one-on-one. However, if we get her excited, it's just too much--she starts throwing toys around and getting kinda "wild". There's really no in-between. It will definitely be a learning process with her as we engage her and help her to bond with us as her parents.

She's getting lots of hisses and hugs and hand-holding and eye contact--all of which is very good for her. I wish we could do something about the over-stimulation, but we're in the middle of "Times Square" in this part of the city, with giant TV screens, and buildings that light up, and people and traffic everywhere--even the hotel is a giant sparkly wonder. That's when she gets in what I'm calling the "Zoey-zone". She literally spaces out and just stares off into the distance until things calm down. So it'll have to wait a bit until we get home to settle down and find a routine that's healthy for Zoey.

Thursday will be some down time and sight-seeing. Oh--we're 12 hours ahead of Atlanta, so we're just headed to bead now as you guys are starting your day. Then on Friday we head to Maoming to visit Zoey's orphanage, which will be a very long day, but well worth the effort. Saturday we should receive the rest of our paperwork in advance of Monday's U.S. Consulate appointment--the final step before heading home.

Eden is such a trooper. I swear she's grown a year before my eyes. She's such a great big sister--has all the motherly instincts and gentle but firm bossy-pants. Plenty of pics posted over at www.facebook.com/eugenelmason. Thanks to everyone for your continued support and prayers.

Day One with Zoey

Hello friends...this is Keri posting.  Zoey is napping and Eden is at the pool with Daddy so I have a few moments to try and collect my thoughts on becoming a family of four.  First and foremost, we are grateful...grateful to be here, at this place, at this time.  The Lord performed a miracle getting us here.  My sweet husband worked tirelessly for 2 years to get to this little girl.  Many of you gave sacrificially and prayed for us...and here we are.  The adoption became official this morning when we returned to the Civil affairs office...but let me back up and give you details of yesterday from mama's perspective...

We got up and had our paperwork meeting with Rebecca (our Lifeline person here).  She was AWESOME!  She did a great job of managing our expectations and she even knew some of our kiddos because of Lifeline's partnership with MaoMing.  She actually warned me that Zoey would not like me, or anyone for that matter, because she doesn't do well with strangers.  Part of our paperwork meeting was having the schedule and information about our children that the orphanage sent translated so that we would know what questions we had when we met the orphanage director later on.  Miko (another Lifeline worker who lives here) sat and translated for me.  We found out Zoey's daily schedule, food she eats, bathroom and sleeping routines, and some information about her development and personality.  She was described as delayed, which we knew.  She was described as peaceful and quiet, slow to react, language delayed and cognitively delayed as well as small in size.  We knew most of this before we came.

So, after paperwork we gathered our "bag of tricks" which for us included a Tigger pez despenser (HUGE HIT), Puff snacks, water bottle, and a couple of toys.  Armed with paperwork, cameras, and butterflies in my stomach, we set off for the Civil Affairs office.  Once there, we were herded to sit and wait.  They called all MaoMing families up and started literally pulling the kids one by one out of the playroom and thrusting them at us.  It was chaotic, surreal, and somewhat funny looking back.  Zoey came out last.  I will never forget that moment as long as I live.  Gene, Eden and I were waiting and they shoved her out and she walked out grinning from ear to ear, looking around, having (I'm convinced) absolutely no idea what was going on. She was just looking all around and grinning.

I finally got her attention and took her hand and walked her over to the side so we could officially meet for the first time.  Mother and daughter, father and daughter, sister and sister, grandmother and granddaughter...finally we were on the same continent, in the same country, in the same province, in the same city, in the same room.  Her reaction was so completely different from our experience with Eden that I was taken aback.  Earlier in the day we found out what "foster care" looked like for her.  She spent her days in the orphanage, and had several other children in her foster home...so there is not the strong attachment Eden had with her foster mom.  Plus, Eden lived with one family from 3 months until we got her at 19 months, and Zoey didn't go until she was 2.

Zoey did cry a little bit yesterday, but not enough in my opinion.  She is sweet and funny, but I can tell we have a long way to go to teach her to attach to anyone.  She is cooperative and playful.  She never resists and doesn't seem scared of anything (baths, strollers, new surroundings/people, brushing teeth, changing clothes).  When we are in the hotel room she is much more engaged.  But when we leave the room she completely zones out...it may be just too much for her - or that may be how she normally is...don't know yet.  What I do know is that this little girl THRIVES with one-on-one attention.  She delights in it.  She craves it.

After we brought her back yesterday we played a little, bathed, ate, and went to bed.  She slept great...but has pretty significant repetitive rocking in her sleep.  I'm assuming it's self-soothing habits from long ago and have no idea what to do because Eden didn't do that.  She woke up happy and smiling this morning.  Ate a great breakfast and then we went back to Civil Affairs to finalize the adoption.  Hasn't cried a bit today...once again, that's not normal.  Any "normal" 3 1/2 year old would be freaking out if they were just taken away less than 24 hours ago from everything familiar.  Eden grieved so hard, and Zoey not at all so far.  So, we will just take it day by day and let the experts at the International Adoption Clinic help us when we get home. 

I'm gonna be transparent here for a minute...I'd rather her be grieving.  With Eden, her grief was so deep that I knew she was very attached to her foster mother.  What I see in Zoey - and it is WAY too early to know for sure - is a little girl who has never truly attached.  She has definitely been well cared for physically.  She has been played with and watched and fed.  I am so grateful for that.  But she is so detached...from everything.  She watches and observes us - which is good.  But I honestly think if I let her, she would sit and play by herself all day long.  When I sit in the floor with her she lights up like a Christmas tree.  When we are alone in the room she will look me in the eye and somewhat engage...but out in public she completely closes down.  Some of this could be her developmental delay...not sure yet.  I do sense (once again too early to know for sure) that there is a true delay there and not just normal orphanage delays.

Oh, and she will eat until she makes herself sick.  So we will have to work on that, too. 

Overall, we are doing wonderfully.  Eden has been incredible.  Loving, patient, kind, and helpful.  Zoey won't engage her much but definitely isn't mean to her.  I think she's more used to playing around other kids than with them, which is typical for her age.  I know it won't be long until she loves her big sister.  I'm thankful there are 2 little girls and 2 little boys Eden's age who are biological kids in our travel group so the siblings are having a great time together while mommys and daddys focus on new little ones.  As usual, my mom is selflessly serving us however we need her to.  I am so grateful for her!

That's all for now...need to get her up so she'll sleep tonight.  Thank you for your prayers.  Love you all!

The Mason Four

Normally Keri posts to our family blog, but since this has been such a long day and there's much news to share, hubby is posting instead. Today was our "gotcha day" for Zoey Faith. For those of you not familiar with the international adoption process, it's the day that you receive your child. You walk into an office building as a family of three, and an hour later you walk out a family of four. Just like that.

The trip has been great so far. Keri, me, Eden and Keri's mom Roberta have all had a wonderful time. Eden tried to instruct us on how to eat noodles this morning, but the results were somewhat mixed.

Then we had a paperwork meeting, which lasted a few hours and where we received all the last minute details. I admit Keri and I were both more apprehensive this time around because Zoey is older than Eden was when we adopted her and we didn't know what to expect. During the paperwork meeting we were advised to "prepare for the worst". 

Next was the bus ride to the Civil Affairs Office. We had five families in our group all receiving children on this day. Other families from other adoption agencies would also be receiving children at the same time. So, a ton of couples, many with children, all converging on the Civil Affairs Office.

The adoption room in the Civil Affairs Office can best be described as organized chaos. Our group camped out in one corner. Our guide hurriedly called us up to the front of the room. Less than 10 minutes after we entered, we squatted down and Zoey was thrust out of the waiting area next door, stuffed animal in hand, wearing a backpack of toys, and plopped down in front of us with a big grin.

So began the process of meeting Zoey--actually Mao Zhonglun, at this point. She just kinda took it all in for a while, repeated some words back to Keri, scoped out the room. About 15 minutes in she let out a big cry. It was all just a little much. I left the room to meet with the orphanage director, where I got some history on Zoey and got to ask some questions. Keri and Eden continued to greet our newest family member while Keri's mom recorded the scene for posterity.

Zoey at this point seemed detached. She would not make eye contact with anyone and we could tell that she was hanging in there, but it will be a long road to bond with her. Since every child is unique, the process will be different than with Eden. She's pretty nervous about new people--including us--and people holding her close. On the bus ride back to the hotel, she took a short snooze on Keri's lap, which is a good sign.

Eden and Zoey had a great bath time tonight and they played on the floor of the room. We had a late dinner of rice and noodles in our hotel room and after guzzling down water and milk, Zoey quickly fell asleep. Tomorrow we have a long day of paperwork and interviews at the Civil Affairs Office, so be praying for Zoey especially with more change and strangers coming her way throughout the day.

Eden is doing super as a big sister. She is very taken with Zoey. Eden has a ton of little girls in our travel group and has made fast friends with many of them, which has helped ease the transition. We are so proud of her--today at gotcha day she was right in the thick of it jumping up and down and cheering on her new sister.

Keri and I covet your prayers for Zoey and our family during these days. We are so blessed by your support and encouragement. Thanks for being a part of our adoption process. We'll continue to post more news and photos in the coming days.

In Christ,
Gene and Keri

Day One from Guangzhou

Arrived safely in Guangzhou, China, yesterday. We're 12 hours ahead of Atlanta here, so in case you're wondering, Sunday morning will be hot and smoggy. We're traveling with two other adopting families, the Maddoxs and the Jones. We are waiting for a third family to arrive today. There are no planned activities today, so we are going to try to go to an international church that we heard is not far from the hotel. Interested to see what an "official" church here is like.

Keri and Eden are doing great. Keri's mom joined us again on this trip and we are so grateful to have her with us. Can't believe we're finally here and now one day away from meeting Zoey.

I asked Eden what she noticed about China yesterday while we were in a store and she said, "It's crowded".

Social media access here is somewhat--ahem--limited this time around, but I have managed to post a few pictures to Facebook at facebook.com/eugenelmason. Keri and I covet your prayers for the next two weeks as we complete this long-awaited process.

--Gene

And 20 hours on airplanes later...

We're here in Hong Kong! Arrived the evening of October 5 and getting a little rest before heading to Guangzhou tomorrow to officially get the adoption work going. Eden has been a trooper and handled the very long travel well. Everybody is tired and hungry, so we're calling it a night. Thanks for your continued support and prayers and we count down to Monday's encounter with our new daughter, Zoey.

Here We Go...

I cannot believe it's finally here.  All the months of waiting, paperwork, fingerprints, red tape, phone calls, training and reading, and prayer has led us here.  We get on a plane bound for China bright and early tomorrow morning.  We will fly to Hong Kong via Chicago...in coach...on literally the last row of the plane.  This should be interesting...

I am tired, emotional and excited.  With Eden's adoption we had over a month between our Travel Approval and when we went to China.  This time I had 10 days.  So, the room has been set up, clothes washed and put in drawers, house cleaned, mail stopped, fridge cleaned out, laundry done, a few meals prepared ahead and frozen, bills paid, dog and fish taken to our sweet neighbor, grass cut, carpet cleaned, suitcases packed, carseat installed, and loose ends tied up.  Whew!

We should meet Zoey on Monday afternoon China time...which will be the wee hours of the morning here.  I am looking forward to the next few days away from home so I can draw near to the Lord, pray, read, and journal.  The last 2 weeks have felt like a whirlwind.  I have tangibly felt the prayers of so many.  Please continue to lift us up!

I will update again when we land to let you all know we made it.  Eden is beyond excited.  It brings tears to my eyes to think that she is going to see the land of her birth.  Can't wait to experience it through her eyes.

Love you all...thanks for following our journey.

Final Preparations

Well, this is our last weekend in our home as a family of 3.  To be honest, I have mixed emotions.  While I am so excited to be bring Zoey home and into our family, I keep finding myself pausing to savor these last days with the three of us.  I know Zoey will make our lives fuller and richer...but change is hard and scary.  The reality of what we are about to do is setting in as we make final preparations.  As I added another booster seat to our table this week, the reality of one more mouth to feed, set of dishes to wash, manners to teach, etc. set in.  As I began filling her dresser drawers the added laundry became apparent.  I bought a few extra towels, a toothbrush and realized that's one more bath time, teeth to brush, story to read each night.  As I prepared toys for her, I realized there will be bigger messes, more clutter, less free time.  As I taught Eden this week I kept thinking, "How am I going to do this with a toddler running around?"  Each task I did this week I kept factoring in Zoey...

It is real.  She is not just a photo but a living, breathing little person with 3 1/2 years of history that has nothing to do with me.  She will come to us with preferences, opinions, fears, language, memories, relationships, and customs that we know nothing of.  She is likely to be broken, scarred, what Pat Robertson called "damaged."  A week from Monday, her world will forever change...and so will mine.  It is not an ending, but a beginning.  I have learned from experience that those first days are not indicative of all that our relationship will become.  She may call me "mama"...but it will take time for me to be her "mommy."  I told my neighbor today that I am not excited at all about meeting Zoey.  What mother who has given birth before is excited about labor?  I am excited to bring Zoey home, but meeting her scares the living daylights out of me.  It's not the dreamy, lovely image that most imagine.  It's not horrible, either...I would describe it as chaotic.  It's later that the snuggles come...the warm feeling that floods every part of your soul...the silent prayers of thanksgiving as tears stream down...that's what I long for...that's what I hope for.

I have gotten so many questions from friends about what we are going to do to communicate and bond since Zoey is 3 1/2.  My answer is always, "I have no idea.  I'm gonna just go with the flow."  If you know me, you just laughed out loud because I am a planner.  But one thing motherhood has taught me is there is no plan.  I have ideas, but they may not work.  I have intentions, but I'll have to play it by ear.  There is no "Baby Wise" for adopting a child this age...no formula...there are too many unknowns.  I take great comfort in knowing she has been prayed for by so many.  I have asked the Lord for supernatural wisdom and grace and I am trusting Him to supply it according to His perfect timing.

So, as we spend our last few days at home, enjoy these pictures of Eden and Zoey's newly decorated room.  And thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your prayers and support.

Eden's Bunk

Zoey's Bunk

My favorite - the corner shelf

Dresser, they each get a side

Zoey's side of the closet

Eden's side

Reading area

View in from the hall

The hilarious door sign Eden insisted on having