A Heavy Day

Today has been a hard day emotionally. Emme Grace's funeral was today. It was indeed a celebration of her life, and of God's grace - but so hard just the same. Her family's faith and choice to glorify our precious Lord amidst their indescribable suffering challenged and convicted me. My heart is heavy and yet full this evening. It's hard to describe the mix of emotions resulting from this little girl's sudden death.

On Monday night, I walked into Eden's room to find she and Gene sleeping in her rocking chair. I quickly made a mad dash for the camera, as it was such a precious scene to behold. Daddy and daughter resting all snuggled up. I think one of the reasons I have been so deeply affected by Emme Grace's death (I only met her 2 times) is because for the first time in my life, I could imagine it being my child. You know how when you hear of a tragedy like this you say, "I can't even imagine..." Well, today I could imagine.

Emme Grace's daddy read a letter written by him and his wife that told Emme's life story. Born in China, abandoned by birth mother for unknown reasons, taken to an orphanage, having surgery in China, 2 years of paperwork delays and waiting, God leading them to her, the first time they saw her photo, traveling across the world to bring her home, their fear she wouldn't bond to them, seeing her transform like a butterfly learning to love and trust them, being mommy to her dolls, warm hugs and sweet kisses, having to have her shoes lined up in a neat row, and her favorite song, "Jesus Loves Me." He really could have been describing my Eden.

Now please hear me, I know this is SO not about me. My heart aches for this precious family. And yet my mind keeps wandering to the "what ifs" and the reality that my child belongs to God. He created her, He literally handed her to us in the swealtering hot China sun on a July day that I remember every detail of...she is His. We are His. He is in charge. His ways are higher and wiser and beyond what I can comprehend. And He is good...always.

I know all of these things, but this week I have wrestled with these truths to the core of my soul. Somewhere along the way God reminded me of something. Way back when I was waiting and praying for Eden, I remember knowing so clearly that this adoption was not just about us getting a child...it was mostly about a little orphan girl in China getting a family.

That's what I walked away from the funeral reminded of and certain of today. Amidst the tragedy and grief is God's infinite grace broadcasted in the life of little Emme. Our natural inclination as humans is to wonder why God would bring the Forbes a child He knew would die in 11 short months. Why put them through that when there are so many "healthy" orphans waiting on adoption? Why, Lord? I think it's because God doesn't see any child as "more fit" or "more suitable" for His grace than another. Every life He creates is equally valuable and precious to Him. In His wisdom He saw Emme as worth all of the money, time and sacrifice her family paid, even though He would call her to Himself less than a year after He placed her in their arms. He made sure that one of the neediest spent her last days on earth surrounded by the love her heart had longed for and needed. He led a family to her that would pray for her, teach her about Him, and when the end of her life drew near sing hymns of praise to Him around her hospital bed. Oh what grace He lavished on this little girl, and on the family who had the privilege of being His hands and feet in her life.

So while I have no answers as to why God chooses to act in the way He does sometimes, I am learning to be content to trust in what I do know. He is good and His love endures forever. And I am reminded that none of us are guaranteed another day with those we love. When I think of the time, energy and resources I waste on temporary, frivolous things anger wells up in me. What am I doing?? And so my resolve is stronger to pour my life into my family, friends, and those who need whatever God has chosen to bless me with...talents, resources, whatever. Life is short and it is meant to be lived for Christ's glory, abundantly, freely and fully.

And to celebrate the joy God has granted in my life, I leave you with a photo of my sweet Eden. Thursday morning I was dropping her off at MDO and I turned around to this site. I am grateful today more than ever for the personality God gave her, and the joy and laughter He gives daily through her. Yes, she is my child, but she is also many times my teacher, reminding me of what really matters. Please continue to pray for Lauren and French Forbes and their 2 sons. The coming days will be so hard. Love you all!

Eden's Party and First Sleepover!

So it's late in coming, but I wanted to post some pictures of Eden's 3-year-old birthday party with her friends. Her birthday was Dec. 27 but we had her party Jan. 31st. It was at Head Over Heels Gymnastics where she takes classes each Tuesday. Her coach, Ms. Erin, did her party and she had a blast with 8 friends and family. She wore a special panda bear, big-girl leotard for the occasion. Here are some of my favorite photos.

Eden with Coach Erin

The obstacle course


Look at how much fun she's having!! That's her favorite girl friend Mia behind her.

Here's the gang. The party had a Dora the Explorer theme complete with a pinata. So fun!

Okay, one more thing. We've had a major victory at the Mason house this month. For those who've been following our blog since we adopted Eden, you may remember that sleep/nights have been the hardest struggle for Eden's transition into our family. It's been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, trying new things, thinking we had it beat, and then more struggles. Basically, Eden has been in our room and/or bed for most of the time she's been home.

This means I honestly only slept well probably 5 nights in 2008...I'm not exaggerating. It's been hard. She spent only 1 night away from us in the 18 months she's been home....until last week, that is. About 4 weeks ago Eden finally started going down in her bed without any anxiety, and staying in her bed all night. She usually wakes up once and comes in our room, but I'm able to take her straight back to her bed where she stays until morning. This is huge for us!

Last week she went to my mom's for not one, but two nights and did great. She was not scared, anxious or nervous at all. She had a great time and even told me she wanted to stay 4 nights, which I nixed because I missed HER so much! This is such an answered prayer for us, as Eden's anxiety comes out at night. She HATES to be alone, as I'm sure many kids do. We tried everything and she was just unable to self-soothe at night.

You know what finally did the trick? Our dog. Yes, our 85-pound, gentle, sweet, chocolate lab Maggie sleeps in Eden's room with her now. She isn't alone if Maggie is with her, and she feels safe. That, along with a very regimented bedtime routine, closet light on, and praying over her every night has resulted in much better sleep for all of us...except maybe Maggie, who had to sacrifice her spot for the last 10 years for Eden. This is one of the many reasons I adore that sweet dog! Her silent, steady loyalty.

So, for all of you struggling with sleep issues...there is hope. My advice is to trust your instincts above what anyone else tells you and give your child what he/she needs, even if it doesn't fit with your preference or expectation (of course there is always balance in that)...if that fails, get a big, cuddly dog :0) Hope this encourages some of you.

Here's a picture of Eden painting cookies at her sleepover.

Check out her hairdo that she designed "all by" herself.

Well, I better run. Hope you are all well. Have a great day!

My Sweet Nephew Is Here!

I'm so proud to announce that my sister Kelly had her baby boy today. He was delivered via c-section at around 1:00 p.m. He weighed in at 8 pounds 4 ounces and is 20 3/4 inches long. Congratulations to Matt and Kelly...you are going to be GREAT parents! I love you. Here's the play-by-play for all you family and friends... Everyone is doing great and resting well.

Last photo as a family of two!

Grandmas and aunts stalking Matt and baby in the hall/waiting area.

Here they come! Look at Daddy's proud face.

Look at him winking at us. How cute is he??

Meet Camp Matthew Herndon.

Three generations of Herndon men. This is the first male "Herndon" grandson...the family name continues!

Finally mommy and baby boy. Kelly had to wait about 4 hours to see him. We don't have any photos of the 3 of them because as soon as they brought Camp to Kelly we left to give them time alone.

Update

My heart is heavy and tears are flowing as I post tonight. I just got a message letting me know that little Emme Grace Forbes passed away at 1:45 p.m. Sunday in the arms of her family. I don't know any details. I actually learned this info from a posted message to my last post. It's so hard to understand why God would allow this family to wait years to adopt this little girl, only to take her to heaven less than one year later. I know that I speak for her mommy when I say that whatever time they had with her on earth was more than worth the sacrifice. I am so thankful that she got to experience having a mommy and a daddy before she went to heaven.

Please continue to pray for the Forbes family. I cannot imagine the grief they must be in...but I know there are some who read who have experienced deep loss like this. Remember to lift them in prayer.

URGENT - PLEASE PRAY!

Hey everyone,
I just received an e-mail from a friend asking for prayer for a precious little girl adopted from China in 2008. Her name is Emme Forbes, and she is either 3 or 4, I'm not sure. I've met her family and they are precious.

Emme had surgery in Memphis yesterday (Sat.) to repair a hole in her stomach. She has been having stomach issues since they adopted her and they weren't sure why. In fact, she was in the hospital in China when they got there to adopt her. My friend said the doctors didn't expect her to make it through the surgery yesterday. They left her stomach open (for some reason) and went back in to close it up, saying they didn't expect her to make it through that surgery either.

My friends (the Jones who adopted their "Eden" from China, too) left early this morning to travel to be with them. I haven't received an update. Please pray for this family, the doctors, and sweet Emme. I know God can heal her little body. I praise Him that she is here receiving the best medical care and not still in that orphanage. To God be the glory for her little life!

Thank you all for praying and I will post an update if/as soon as I get one.

Love

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I had a GREAT day! I actually got to go on TWO dates ALONE with my sweet husband this week. One on my birthday Wednesday to a wonderful restaurant called Fleming's, and one tonight. Eden's gymnastics place had a parent's night out tonight. She had a blast doing "nastics," eating pizza, playing games and watching a movie. Gene and I went to see the movie "Taken." I highly recommend it if you like thrillers. We loved it! I would compare it to the show "24" except it's not about terrorism. But it has that kind of action and suspense. Then, we went for Starbuck's. Lots of great conversation and reconnecting...a great day.

To end the day, Eden and I had a special, sweet moment. I was putting her to bed and reading books to her. I pulled out one called, "I love you with all my heart." It's one that my mom gave me 10 years ago (I collected children's books before I was even married) and it's a sweet story of how a polar bear's mother loves him. When I opened it up, I read Eden the note my mom had written in the front of it. It said, "To Keri, I love you with all my heart. Love, Mom" and was dated Feb. 14, 1999. I said to Eden, "Ja-Ja gave this to mommy 10 years ago today for Valentine's Day." Then Eden looked at me and said, "you love me with all your heart just like Ja-Ja loves you with all her heart." Tears filled my eyes. What a legacy of love this little angel will have.

On another note of love. Several months ago I blogged about my sister, Kelly, being pregnant. She had just had her 1st ultrasound and we were told it was a little girl. I realized the other day I have never updated that information. Through a series of events, she had another ultrasound a few weeks later and the first technician was wrong, she is actually having a little boy. Camp Matthew Herndon is due next Friday, Feb. 20th. I can't wait to meet my little nephew! Here's a photo of my beautifully radiant, precious sister at her baby shower in December...her belly is lots bigger now!



And, here's a picture of Camp on the 4D ultrasound they had done to confirm he was a boy. It was done pretty early, but you can still see his little face.


It just amazes me how incredible God is and how He creates and sustains life. He is so good!

Well, that's all for now. Hope you all have stopped today to reflect on the greatest love there is - the love God has for you. Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

I'm Officially in My Mid-30's!

Hello to all who read. Yesterday (Feb. 11th) was my 35th birthday. It sounds old but I don't feel old...in my mind I'm still in my mid-20's for some reason. Wonder why that is?

Anyway, don't have long to post but I thought I would, in honor of the gift of 35 years of life, tell you 35 things about myself. So here goes:

1) I'm addicted to Starbuck's. I know it's expensive, but it's the ambiance of it that draws me in...like I feel "hip" for being there.

2) I have recently discovered the Whole Foods store and I feel healthier just walking in there. I highly recommend their fish - so fresh and healthy.

3) I recently joined the gym and hired a trainer to help me get in shape.

4) I now exercise 5-6 times a week consistently.

5) I LOVE reality TV.

6) My favorites are American Idol and The Biggest Loser.

7) My husband and I have our friends Daniel and Andrea over every Wed. night for a "Lost" viewing party. During the commercials and after the show, we gripe and complain about how confused we are and threaten to stop watching if they don't provide some answers!

8) My husband and I talk to each other through our Chocolate Lab, Maggie, with a distinctive accent that is "her voice." We've done this throughout our marriage.

9) My sister, Kelly, is 8 years younger than me and she is my best friend.

10) I am so blessed to have about 10 girlfriends that I know I could call in the middle of the night that would drop everything to help me if I needed them. In my opinion, that makes me wealthy beyond measure.

11) I grew up going to church but didn't surrender my life to Christ until I was 24.

12) I went to Maui on my honeymoon and stayed at the Ritz Carlton...it was amazing!

13) I've been on mission trips to India, Ukraine and Venezuela.

14) I am going to South Africa this summer for 10 days to do Hospice ministry to terminally ill, end-stage AIDS patients. I cannot wait!

15) I am a horrible singer but LOVE to sing loudly.

16) When I exercise, I have to have "booty" music on my ipod...that's the only time I listen to it.

17) I love to write.

18) Scrapbooking is one of my favorite hobbies but I rarely have time.

19) My husband once wrote me a whole book of thoughts about life and his feelings for me...I love to pull it out and read it.

20) I love to get a good facial at the spa.

21) I prefer a pedicure to a manicure.

22) Grande caramel mocha is my favorite Starbuck's drink but I'm learning to love Skinny Vanilla latte's

23) The aerobics class I attend is called Booty Blast - the name in itself is enough to inspire me to go.

24) Everyone tells me that my daughter has my personality. I actually feel better about myself now because I think she is so hilarious - so other people must think I'm funny.

25) I love studying the Bible...it's not a "chore" to me.

26) I am very impatient and fly off the handle over silly things (working on that).

27) My husband is very patient and totally balances me out.

28) The thing I am most passionate about in the world is orphans...I think EVERY child should have a family.

29) I am fiercely loyal.

30) I am honest (to a fault sometimes).

31) I have learned the past year that I can be way too hard on myself. I'm learning to lower my expectations and enjoy life.

32) I don't want to settle for less in areas that I can do something about. That's what has motivated me to get healthy.

33) I am more in love with my husband now than the day we got married, even though our marriage is sometimes hard - he is wonderful to me and Eden.

34) Being Eden's mommy humbles me to tears almost daily. She is such a blessing

FINALLY,

35) Our family is in plans to begin the adoption process again soon...we hope from Uganda (Africa). If not there, then China again.

So, there's some info about me. Hope you all have a great Valentine's weekend with those you love most.

Deep Thoughts from Eden Hope

Hey everyone,
I haven't posted in a while and I have several pictures to share from Eden's 3rd birthday party (gymnastics/Dora theme). We also made a trip to the circus 2 weeks ago and she LOVED it. We were on the FRONT row.

I had to do a quick post of something Eden said the other day. I was snuggling with her and I said, "Eden, we're family aren't we?" She responded quite matter-of-factly, "Yes, and daddy is the line leader of our home and we are the cabooses."

My jaw dropped. See, Eden often comes to me after her daddy has told her "no" and asks me for whatever he denied her. I always explain to her that daddy is the "boss" of our home, then mommy. If he says "no, " the answer is "no."

In her 3-year-old mind she reasoned that he is the line leader, since at Mother's Day Out they appoint a line leader and all the other kids follow this person. Isn't that amazing that she made that connection? I was shocked!

Then the other night she was making a pretend birthday party for Gene and he was saying over and over "I want a cupcake, I want a cupcake." She looked at him and said, "Chill out daddy, I'm getting you one." We roared with laughter for a good 5 minutes over that one. That is what I say to her when she is being impatient with me.

Lastly, Gene was laying down and Eden walked up to him and said, "Daddy, those are some nasty feet!" Once again, we roared with laughter...she keeps us laughing. My mom plays this game with her where she pretends to smell her feet and says that to her.

Just a few Eden moments I had to share.