Six Months With Eden Hope

Wow! I can't believe we have been Eden's parents for a little over 6 months now. The official anniversary was Jan. 23rd so I'm a little late with this post. I've been mulling over how to communicate what it's like to look back over the past 6 months, or really the past 2 1/2 years and see what God has done. There honestly are no words. The only thing I can say, as tears are literally streaming down my face, is this precious baby is worth every second, day, week, month and year we waited. Do you hear me mommies who are waiting to adopt? I PROMISE it's worth it. Hang in there. During the 20 months we waited, I said to myself so many times, "Hang on, Keri. Once you meet your daughter there will never be a day that you will look at her and think this hardship wasn't worth it." Boy were those thoughts and words straight from God's mouth to my ear.

I can't remember life without her. What did I do all day? What made me laugh? I literally laugh all day long with her here. She is such a delight...that's what her name means in the Hebrew...delightful, paradise. That describes her perfectly.

Being a mommy certainly brings headaches and hassles...but it is so minor compared to the joy and fulfillment so I don't even want to focus on that temporary stuff.

I guess one of the most profound changes in me has been the humility God has worked in my heart. This baby started out so sad and broken with us. Every day I wake up since July 23, 2007, God heals her in some small way...and we get to be His healing touch in her life. He has used us to make her well. This humbles me beyond words because I know it's not me, but Him working through me in her life. I remember the first time she hugged me. I mean really hugged me out of love. I remember the first time she called me "Mommy." No one else gets called that, even though she called me and many other females "mama." I remember the first time she cried when I left, showing that she cares. I remember the first day without any grief tantrums. So many small miracles. So much healing. So much grace and mercy.

I'm going to end this post with photos that kind of sum up our journey to Eden. There are a lot of photos so make sure you get them all because they might go on to the next page. The last one will be a January 2008 photo. Hope you enjoy celebrating and remembering all God has done! Love you all!

Our first photo of Eden received December 2006. She was 8 months old in this photo.

Our second photo, received January 2007. Eden was 13 months old.

Daddy assembling the crib in May 2007.

Daddy putting the curtains up that Sandra Watkins made for Eden's room.

Daddy putting the bookshelf together. I promise I worked, too. I painted the walls and furniture but Gene wasn't there to take photos!

May 2007...the nursery is ready. We're just waiting, waiting, waiting for that LOA and Travel Approval!

We received this photo on June 13, 2007...2 days before we flew to China. Eden was 18 months old in this photo.

Preparing to board the plane in Birmingham, AL on June 15, 2007.

Sightseeing in Beijing. We are about to climb the Great Wall. This is about 5 days before we met Eden.

Filling out our paperwork in Wuhan (Eden's city) the day before we met her.

I call this photo "Eden Eve." I laid all the toys out the night before "Gotcha Day" and I cried the whole time.

8:00 a.m. July 23, 2007. Gotcha Day...preparing to head to the Civil Affairs Office to pick Eden up.

This is Eden sitting with the nanny before we were able to get her. Notice that she's looking at the photo Gene and I sent her in a care package in February 2007.

First family photo...before the crying began.

This is my favorite photo from China. When Eden started crying, my heart broke into a million pieces for her and I began to cry, too. I pray I never have to watch her grieve that deeply again.

Eden is still crying on the bus ride back to the hotel. All the parents started singing "Jesus Loves the Little Children" to try and calm our little ones.

Eden finally fell asleep on Gotcha Day after crying for a couple of hours. She wore herself out.

This is where Eden lived before she went into foster care. We said goodbye to the orphanage for the last time.

This is the view out of the orphanage window. According to the orphanage director, Eden likely lived in one of these buildings, as the foster parents live very close to the orphanage.

Arriving home in Birmingham, August 1, 2007.

Our friends made a sign to welcome us home.

This is Eden meeting our social worker at Lifeline, Karla, for the first time. I can't imagine what it's like for her to see all these babies come home!

Eden playing in her room for the first time the day we got home with her new friend, Alex DeVane.

August 2007, first month home.

September 2007, second month home.

October 2007, third month home.

November 2007, fourth month home.

December 2007, fifth month home.

January 2008, sixth month home.

More Photos

Hey everyone! I've been getting lots of feedback on all the photos...so here's some more. I'm trying so hard to catch up!!! I'm almost there. Not much new going on around here. We're having some repairs done on our home and are about to put some walls up in our finished basement to create 2 more bedrooms. We're praying about putting our house up for sale so we're slowly getting it ready as we pray. We haven't made a decision yet about what to do.

Other than that, not much to report. Gene is really starting to get in the groove of his new job. He is the marketing director for a high-end stationary company called Sweet Pea Designs. He loves the people he works with. I cracked up the other day because he was doing "research" for his job by reading "Martha Stewart Weddings" and "Southern Lady" magazines. He's sort of flipping out that his target audience is now 99.9% women. He said he feels like Mel Gibson in the movie "What Women Want." If I come home and find him waxing his legs and wearing panty hose I will be forced to draw the line :0)

We are having a reunion with our China travel group on Feb. 23 and I can hardly wait! I can't wait to get my hands on all those little ones! That's all for now...enjoy the pictures! Oh, and Eden is doing much better going to sleep at night. We still have issues but it is getting better.

This is my niece, Savannah. We had her 11th b'day party at the bowling alley when she came to visit over Christmas break. Such a pretty girl! I miss her and Hayden, her brother, so much. They live in south Florida.

Eden and her cousins, Savannah & Kendall, at Savannah's b'day party riding the horsey. Do you think Savannah & Kendall are a little big??? Eden LOVED it!

My Meemaw's 83rd b'day party in January. Isn't she beautiful? She is a treasure & I love her so much! Eden loves to play the piano with her.

Three generations (my mom was taking the photo). My baby has gained so much more than just Gene and me. A whole family! God is so good.

Eden eating the snow.

Eden & Maggie in the snow.

Playing dress up. Check out the earrings.

All decked out! Little girls are so much fun!

Stinker

Eden is such a little stinker! Here are just some random cute photos of her stinker-ness. Enjoy!

Eden's first official pony tail. She calls it her "tail."

Playing in the tub. It's hard to believe she used to be terrified of baths.

Check out the pink leotard...Eden's first gymnastics class. She's a maniac!

Okay seriously, could her legs be any cuter???

Eden's 2nd Birthday with Family

Eden turned 2 on December 27th and we had a family party in Anniston on that day. Here are some photos from her party. She had a blast and really got the hang of ripping open gifts. I made my first "real" birthday cake with actual decorating and I LOVE it. Hope you enjoy the photos!

Gene and I gave her a high chair for her baby dolls.

Eden feeding her new baby Ja-Ja gave her for Christmas.

Blowing out her candle. How sassy is that hat?

Elmo cake...not bad for my first try!

Eden sure liked the cake!

That is one happy 2-year-old!

Before I sign off, I wanted to make sure you knew I posted Christmas photos. The post got put under Gene's post with the video yesterday because I had saved it as a draft a couple of days ago so when I came back today to finish it, it automatically went before his post. Just scroll down to the post right before the video to see it. I'm going to get caught up this week so keep watching for new posts and photos! Have a blessed week!

The Life of a Two Year Old

I finally got a little free time to play around with the video we've been taking of the family and decided to post a quick clip of Eden playing around the house. Nothing earth-shattering in content, just a happy little two year old being herself. She's just so fun I could watch her all day (but I won't make you do that--it's only like 2 minutes long).

Eden's First Christmas

Eden's New Kitchen

Say Cheese! Eden with her new pink camera

The candy necklace in her stocking was a HUGE hit!

How cute is this pink piano her Meemaw gave her?

Eden with Aunt KK on Christmas Day

I'm finally posting Christmas photos. I will be doing lots of posts over the next couple of days to catch up. Eden got a kitchen for Christmas and she LOVES it. We put it in our kitchen so she can "cook" with mommy. We went to the Christmas Eve service at our church for which there was no childcare. That was interesting to say the least. Eden broke out in song during a really somber instrumental number, and erupted into "YAY!!!!" with clapping as our pastor was preaching. Other than that, she did great :) Thankfully, the people sitting around us were so taken with her sweet smile and silly personality it didn't seem to bother them.

We spent Christmas morning at our house, just the 3 of us. Then Gene's parents and brother came for a late breakfast. That afternoon, we traveled to Anniston to my parent's house and spent a few days there. It was a wonderful Christmas. Gene made me a DVD of our China trip as my gift and I literally sobbed so hard when I watched it that Eden came up and patted me on the back to comfort me.

Seeing the footage of her in China was so hard to watch because she was grieving so hard for her foster mother. She is so happy now. The Lord continues to heal her heart. I am amazed daily by what He has done in her life, and in ours. I will get Gene to post the video on our blog sometime soon.

Sorry this post came a month late but hope you enjoy the pictures!

Sorry for the Long Delay

Hey everyone! I am so sorry for the long delay. It has been a rough start to the new year. Gene has changed jobs, we had a car wreck, and we're in the process of changing computers so I don't have any access to photos yet to update the blog (I know all you guys want is pictures of Eden!). We are doing great, just lots of hard changes. We are getting our permanent computer today so I will post a good update tomorrow with photos from Eden's first Christmas home, her 2nd birthday party with family, and lots of other cute things she's been doing.

We have her "friend" party in Birmingham this weekend. We're having an E-I-E-I-O party. I'm going to attempt to make her a cow cake so we'll see how that goes. I did really well with her Elmo cake on her actual b'day (Dec. 27th). She's becoming an Elmo fan! Eden is doing great, except for nights. She just will not go to sleep alone and it's exhausting - for all 3 of us. She is sleeping in her bed, though.

She started taking a mommy-and-me gymnastics class 2 weeks ago and she loves it. She's a maniac! You should see her in her pink leotard. I'll post pics when I can. And, we finally have enough hair for a ponytail right on top of her head. I'll post photos of that, too. Sorry I'm so behind!

For all of you who travelled with us to China, I'm trying to plan our 6-month reunion for Saturday, Feb. 23. E-mail me and let me know if that date works for you. The Hand's and the Young's can come to B'ham that day. I really hope we can all get together. I miss you!

Check the blog again in the next few days for multiple new posts with lots of pictures! I can't believe it's been 6 months already! What a blessing Eden is!

A Christmas Prayer

Merry Christmas everyone! I am about to head off to bed and I have so much on my mind. I am so humbled and thankful for my precious daughter who will experience her first Christmas tomorrow. At the same time, I am so keenly aware of the millions of children who have not yet been adopted, and many who never will be, who are spending this Christmas in orphanages, foster homes, hospitals, and even on the streets. I am keenly aware of the birth mothers who may be faced this very night with the heart-wrenching decision to give up their babies. After all, that's how Eden started her journey to our home.

Most of all, I am comforted by the truth that God knows each of these little ones by name. He holds their future in His sovereign, loving hands. He numbered their days and appointed where each would grow up before they were born. He is the Father of the fatherless. I praise Him because He has allowed me to live this truth this year as He guided, protected, and brought Eden home to us.

I praise Him because He, too, was a helpless infant, dependent on the care of a teenage mother. He was born poor, with little to His name. He can sympathize with our weaknesses because He has been tested in every way and yet didn't sin. Tomorrow we celebrate that God came to live among us. He was born to die, and rise again. He is our living hope, and the hope of orphans all over the world. Because of Him, they will never be forgotten.

I love this photo of Eden. We received this ornament last Christmas and it has children of all different nationalities joining hands around the earth. Eden was playing with it and a friend snapped this photo without us realizing that the Chinese girl on the ornament was facing the camera. It gave me goose bumps when I saw it.

This Christmas, take a few moments to pray for the children who will not have a mommy and a daddy this Christmas. They will likely have no presents, no big meal, and no mention of Jesus Christ...and He is their hope. Let's remember them. Because God has not forgotten them.

Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Silent Night?

This photo is so precious! Last Sunday, Eden took a two-hour nap on her Ba-Ba (daddy's) chest. I think it's important that we adoptive mom's share both the joys and the struggles of international adoption (especially of a toddler) for the benefit of those who are in the process of adopting. This is not meant to scare anyone off, but it's great to be prepared and aware of possible issues so you won't think you're doing something wrong if your child starts flipping out (that's the non-technical term).

Eden is attaching so well, please hear that. But about 3 weeks ago, she starting "flipping out" at bedtime. For 4 months (with the exception of a few nights right after her ear tube surgery) Eden has slept through the night in her own room/bed. Not anymore. She is going through a difficult phase of having to know where we are at ALL times, including nights. After 2 weeks of having countless people tell me to let her "cry it out" I finally called the International Adoption Clinic to see what Leigh Ann had to say. The technical term for her "flip out" is "hyper vigilance." It means she needs to know where we are and be with us all the time. This stems from her fear of us going away.

As this sweet photo shows, she won't even nap alone. We "fought" hard to keep her in her bed and finally put the pack-n-play in our bedroom and she now sleeps peacefully again. We are praying this is a temporary fear for her. It's really pitiful. Throughout the day she will come and say, "Mommy's bed?" as a way of asking where she will have to sleep that night. She'll do this at 10:00 in the morning. She's worried about it all day long.

I'm beginning to see a pattern in Eden that any type of change is hard for her security, and this manifests in her sleep pattern. She went though similar issues (but much less severe) right when we arrived home, when we started leaving her in the church nursery, and after her surgery. This time, it seems to have been triggered by letting the babysitter (my sister who Eden ADORES) attempt to put her to bed when Gene and I went to a party for a friend. The structure and schedule of daily life has obviously helped her tremendously with this transition. So anytime we "try something new" she becomes panic-stricken. I think the feeling of change triggers the unimaginable change she experienced when she was taken from her foster family when we adopted her.

The great thing is, this "scar" of change and fear is not hindering her from absolutely falling in love with Gene, me and our extended family. She is such a "Mason" and visibly enjoys her new life here. There is no doubt God planned for her to be our child. In fact, she is doing so well that the Lord seems to remind me every now and then not to expect too much from her when she gives these "signals" like the sleep issues. Prayerfully and carefully, we will transition her back to her bed after the holidays if she hasn't moved back herself by then. Mommy may be sleeping on the floor for a while, holding her hand through the crib. But that's okay with me. As Leigh Ann reminded me, "whatever it takes for her to feel safe."

The upside of "hyper vigilance???" Eden runs to me seriously about 10 times a day and says, "Mommy, hold you?" I have learned to drop whatever I am doing and hold her for as long as she needs me to, which sometimes is up to 10 minutes. And it's not just any old holding, its the cling-on-for-dear-life, bury-my-head-in-your-neck holding that every mommy dreams of. Ahhh, what blessings!

What a privilege to be the ones God is using to heal this baby's broken heart! I know all of you adoptive moms feel the same way! Love you all.

The Word Became Flesh

How do you even do it? How do you even begin to try and put into words the depth of God's love and grace during this season? I cry every day. This is not my first Christmas as a believer - but this year everything seems so...real. John chapter 1 says, "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us." God as a newborn, then a toddler, then a teenager, then a crucified and risen Savior. God with us. Emmanuel. Wow! There are no words. As I contemplate the birth of Christ with a toddler in my home it brings this reality alive in my mind and in my heart. When Eden does something silly, or needs a diaper change, or tee-tees in the potty like a big girl, or asks to be held and cuddled I think, "Jesus did these things." How humbling!

For 2 years we "looked forward to" meeting our daughter in the flesh. She was alive in our minds and in our hearts...but she wasn't here with us. We hoped and we waited and we dreamed and we imagined. We prayed and we prepared and we wept and we believed. We watched the mailbox waiting for I-171's and passports and visa's. And then one day, July 23, 2007, Eden "became" flesh to us and dwelt among us. She came to live with us. She became real to us. What a miracle!

I can't help but see the parallel in this adoption process. And I can't help but think how many thousands of people are going through all the motions of the Christmas holiday, but Christ isn't real to them. He is just a story, a Christmas carol, an idea, an excuse to be off work and exchange gifts...but not their Lord, Savior and friend. Not their rock, refuge and strength.

You might be thinking, "Keri, you are way over-thinking this!" Maybe so. I have been quite contemplative with things that I used to just "gloss over" now that I'm a mommy. You see, Eden mimics me...in every way. When I yell, "GO!" in traffic, she yells it, too. She sits in the bathroom and pretends to put creams on her face and contact lenses in her eyes. She tries to repeat what I say. When I hug Gene, she hugs Gene. When I kiss him, she follows suit. When I tell him "I love you" so does she. She is like a dry sponge soaking everything in.

So, what about Christmas? What attitudes, traditions and values am I pouring into her? She is so teachable right now. So eager to please and to learn. These are precious days with her. So this year, we're talking A LOT more about Baby Jesus than about Santa. Why? Because I want Christ to be real to her. He is so very real to us.

I hope as you celebrate this season He is real to you. I hope you are able to take time to worship Him with your family. And if you are struggling right now and feel sad, lonely, or forgotten, I pray He will give you the grace to look past your circumstances and see how much He loves you. So much so that He gave up a throne to enter a womb, and a world that rejected Him. He is real, and He loves you.

Merry Christmas!

One Year Ago Today

It is 10:45 p.m. and I am in tears. I just realized looking back in my prayer journal that we matched with Eden one year ago today - December 14, 2006. When I realized this I turned and looked at my daughter sleeping in her pack-and-play in the living room (we're having separation issues at bedtime). She is now home safe and sound with her mommy and daddy. God has brought all 3 of us so incredibly far! He is so good! One year ago exactly I laid eyes on this precious angel for the first time. I am overwhelmed and humbled and indescribably grateful.

In honor of the one-year anniversary, here is an excerpt from my journal, written Dec. 15, 2006 - the day after we first saw her photo.

"When I first laid eyes on her places in my heart came alive that I didn't even know existed. Tears began to fall and I just kept saying to Gene over and over, 'Oh honey she's so beautiful!' The weird thing is the connection I felt with her before I ever knew who she was. Then when I saw her photo, her eyes drew me in. I've always heard 'the eyes are the window of the soul.' When I looked into her eyes I felt that same connection that I had been feeling in my heart for the past year. I can't really explain it except to say I sensed an underlying sadness and longing in her eyes that mirrors what I feel in my heart. Part of each of us won't be whole until we become a family because I believe God created her for our family. We both feel so sure about adopting her. We are going to meet with Karla about the next step tomorrow."

And now, one year later, she is home sleeping soundly. God's timing is perfect - even when it seems to be taking FOREVER. I've posted a photo taken in China last December and one from last week.

Hope you are all having a great Christmas season!

Family Photos

Hey everyone! We had some photos done a couple of weeks ago by Jason Wallis, an amazing photographer who attends church with us. He put together a slide show of his favorites from the shoot online and I thought you might want to see them. To view the slide show, go to www.walliskids.com/mason. The photos were taken at his studio loft in downtown Birmingham. We took some of Eden's favorite things with us because we really wanted to capture her personality at this age more than we wanted posed pictures of her. He did just that. I HIGHLY recommend Jason. He is worth the time and money!! Hope you enjoy.

Home? God?

Okay I admit it...I'm a blogging slacker! Sorry everyone. Time is flying by it seems like. Before I get down to business, let me explain the photos I posted. The pink coat and hat were hand-made for Eden by my step-grandmother, Mema, in Key West, FL. Doesn't she look precious in them on the way to church? A few weeks ago my friend Heather and I tag-teamed on a babysitter so Eden and Caleb Platt got some play time. The photo of them "chilling out" in the recliner is hilarious! They LOVE to spend time together and run to greet and hug one another when they see each other. In another photo you will see that Eden thought SHE needed to be decorated along with the Christmas tree with beaded garland. And finally, there is a picture of Eden going "night-night" (her favorite game) with her "sister" Maggie in the dog bed.

The title of this post may seem a little odd. It is based on my 2 current favorite things Eden says. The first is the question, "Mommy, home?" I'm not kidding when I say she asks this every 5-10 minutes that we are away from our house. She LOVES being at home. When we turn on our street or pull in the driveway she will squeal with delight and say, "HOME!!" She started doing this a few weeks ago. It warms my heart to think that she understands that she has a home of her own.

The second is, "Mommy, God?" A few weeks after we returned home from China we had a pre-fall cool day. Eden and I were out in the backyard, and a breeze blew her face and hair. She looked at me like, "What was that?" It seriously seemed like she had never felt a gentle breeze before. And based on the extreme heat we experienced in her city, and the harsh winters I've heard are in Wuhan, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't feel breezes. Plus, with all of the tall buildings around the orphanage it would be hard to feel a breeze if there was one.

Anyway, when she looked at me with that questioning gaze I said, "Baby, that's the wind. God is blowing the wind. He is assuring us that He is real and is here and is in control." Well, that was a very theological answer, but I don't think I really took to heart what I told her. The reason I said that is because the next time the wind blew a week or so later she said, "Mommy...God?" My eyes welled up with tears and I said, "Yes baby, it's God." Now, every time (I do mean every) she feels the wind or sees it raining she says, "Mommy...God?"

How humbled I am each time she does this. And how reminded I am of the omnipresence of our God. I told her that off the cuff. And she remembers it every time she feels the gentle breeze. What if we were all like that? What if we were so "in the moments" of our lives that we sensed God in every small detail? What if we recognized His presence in our surroundings? How different our lives would be! How much more content, and more grateful we would be. This is what God is teaching me through my baby daughter.

Eden is doing really well. Her attachment is progressing...and so is her "toddler" behavior. We have really started having to discipline her a lot more over the past month. As she is growing more secure in our love and acceptance of her, she is "letting her hair down" and acting like a stinker! What a challenge to discipline in love! I get so frustrated. She is a sweet girl though and incredibly obedient for an almost-two-year-old.

There is so much more I could say but I'm going to save some so I can post more often and this won't be too long. Life with this child blows my mind. This time last year, we were about a week away from seeing her picture for the first time. And now she is home. God is so good! I remember thinking it was taking FOREVER to process all of the paperwork. Now that's such a blip on the radar and a distant memory I rarely think about. Who cares how long it took? I would do it again 100 times. There is no doubt this little girl was chosen by God for our family.

Thank you all for loving her and encouraging us. You are each a blessing! Enjoy the Christmas season. And next time the wind blows, remember...that's God reminding you He is there, and He is in control. God bless you!

Autumn Fun!

Just thought I would post a few pictures of our trip to the zoo this past weekend. Eden loved it! There is also a photo of her wearing this hat that she ADORES. She is so prissy! Things are about the same around here. Eden is definitely going through a clingy spell but she's doing great. Today Gene and I have been married for 3 years. This week is our Global Celebration at Brook Hills so we won't be able to celebrate until next week. But, this morning we made an Eden sandwich and covered her with kisses as we told each other "Happy Anniversary." God has given us the best gift in one another, and in our daughter. Hope you enjoy the pictures! Thanks for your prayers for Eden.

Building Security

Just wanted to post a quick update on the issue I mentioned with sleep in the last post. Even in the past two days since I posted, Eden's behavior has become more troublesome to me. She seems to be regressing emotionally a little bit. She has had 3 tantrums in the last 2 days, much like the ones she had when we first returned home. Except this time she is tantruming for me, not against me. All 3 have ocurred when I put her in the car seat - something she NEVER resists...until now. She wants to be held. The tantrums have been so severe I have even pulled the van over and gotten her out to hold her and reassure her.

Thankfully, Leigh Ann from the Adoption Clinic called me yesterday about 15 minutes after the first of these tantrums. I explained what's going on with her sleep and told her about the tantrum. Eden also completely melted down in the church nursery last weekend (she has been going for several weeks now) and she is having trouble going to bed at night over the past couple of days. Each of these issues alone wouldn't alarm me, but all of them happening at once causes some concern.

She was so upset after her tantrum today, she looked at me and asked for a bottle and to be rocked. I quit giving her a bottle a month ago, but that is how I comforted her for the first 2 months home. Up until then, I wondered if this was all just toddler behavior because on the outside it looks so much like what kids her age go through. But when she asked for the bottle and to be rocked, I knew she is feeling insecure.

Leigh Ann explained that it's to be expected for "our kids" to regress some in between being "stretched." Eden had surgery a few weeks ago, and Leigh Ann said that might have triggered this behavior. She also said she is about to turn 2 so "resistant behavior" is to be expected so not to let her manipulate us. I am also leaving her now with close friends and family so that is testing our fragile and emerging bond.

I guess most moms who adopt older children struggle with the fear of pushing them too hard too fast, and not crippling them by being over-protective. I want to give her the attention and security she needs without enabling her to stay afraid. As she grows in love and attachment for us, along with that comes the fear that we might go away like her foster mom did. I cannot explain to you how attached she was to her foster mom and the sadness she went through. It breaks my heart that she has to grapple with these conflicting emotions. But, I know it's healthy for her to learn that she can trust us and that we will always come back. This trust can only grow through testing. We have to leave, and come back.

Isn't that just like our trust in the Lord? It can only grow and deepen when it is tested. If everything were always easy, how deep would our faith really be? As God is healing Eden, He is teaching me.

For all of you waiting to adopt, please hear me when I say that God has been faithful EVERY SINGLE time to give us the wisdom to discern what Eden needs. He shows me if I'm pushing too hard, or if I need to let her go. He will do the same for you. He has also placed the Adoption Clinic staff in our lives to be an amazing resource when we need it.

Every day I spend with Eden I am more aware of what an incredible privilege it is to parent a child who needs so much. It is exhausting, yes. It is scary, yes. But it hurts my heart to think of all the babies just like her who haven't been adopted. They are equally precious and in need. I look at how she is growing and healing and I want that for EVERY child who doesn't have the love of a family.

Every night Eden and I pray for the orphans, and for her foster mom and birth mom in China. And, we pray that God will allow us the blessing of bringing an orphan into our home to adopt. Won't it be neat for Eden if He answers that prayer! She is living proof that it is a prayer He delights to answer!